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Monday, January 03, 2005
sleepless in my shuttle

i want to curse CORS but i won't.

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i've been having sleepless nights lately. the other night i have been seriously pondering on what i really want to do with my life. i realized that i have been pursuing an engineering degree for all the wrong reasons. i chose to take up engineering because i knew it was going to be tough. maybe i got so proud that i wouldn't settle for anything less than what i had perceived as one of the most challenging courses available. money was another reason. after having read an article about the most lucrative college degrees, i found out that chemical engineering graduates sat at the top of the list of college graduates with the highest starting salary.

but heck, i don't think that i would even get that degree in the first place if still remain like this. i am not at all happy with where i have gone so far. i am bombarded with doubts every step of the way. my mind is telling me that this is the wise decision. my heart is telling me that this is not what i truly desire.

when i close my eyes and envision myself in the future, i see myself working in a cosmetics company. i would like to make safer cosmetics that people with very sensitive skin like me can use. or maybe work in an art museum and restore the great works of art by my favorite painters. i would like to literally get my hands on van gogh's starry night, or any of da vinci's works mentioned in the controversial best seller 'the da vinci code'. in short, i would like to have a career related to chemistry.

that is why last night, i had seriously considered saying goodbye to the faculty of engineering and say hello to the faculty of science. maybe what i wanted all along is to be a chemist, not a chemical engineer. i almost made up my mind and looked up on what i should do to change faculties. but when i googled up the career options for chemical engineers, the word 'cosmetics' also popped out. with all the fuss i would have to go through to change faculties, then maybe i should just stick to my present course. but wait, i don't know.

this is the best time to make use of the counselling services offered by our university.


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