Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Paalam na, bloggie

From now on, I will only be updating my new blog. I also posted over there my seven most recent entries here. You are welcome to take a peek.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Wednesday, August 08, 2007
FYP again


I got some depressing news today. My FYP supervisor told me I can kiss my December holidays goodbye now. At first I was like, you're kidding right? But then it dawned on me that what she's saying makes sense. She explained that the nature of my project needs me to be present all the time once it starts. It would run for a whole year, two semesters, and I can ignore the school break in between already. She said the I need to ensure that the system is running smoothly all the time or else the bacteria will die and I would have inaccurate results. To illustrate, she said something like if I leave, the bacteria will experience something like me being deprived of air.

And some more, she said December is supposedly the most productive month for final year students because there are no classes, which is also the month before our interim presentation for the project.

Wow. I think I myself will die if I don't get to spend Christmas with my family. I've never been away from my family during Christmas. NEVER. When the clock strikes 12, we would always be in our living room, in a circle and holding each other's hands, singing "I love my manita, yes I do!", pray, then exchange gifts afterwards. Please don't tell me I am going to miss that.

No, I am not going to miss that. I don't care if all hell breaks loose or the freaking bacteria would starve to death, but I am spending Christmas with my family.
Even if I'd be there for only three days, which is a far cry from one month I usually spend back home during December.

I don't know if this means I'm also saying goodbye to our church's Global Gathering on the 27th-30th Dec. HAIZ.

Anyway. I am going out with Joseph and others for Mambo Night. I think I should go out and be merry while I still can.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I haven't really voiced this out much, but I feel very blessed. Really. For all the opportunities and recent experiences and stuff.

I am also very thankful for the things I usually overlook, like I don't have a headache, toothache, a runny nose, I am not in any physical pain...sheesh I am even thankful I don't have a zit to worry about right at this moment. I mean, I am in good health and so is my family, and I am grateful that we don't have to think about hospital bills and stuff like that.

I have food to eat everyday, nice clothes to wear, a comfortable bed to sleep on at night, etc.

I am given the opportunity to study, and I have a lot of nice things to look forward to after that.

So thank you. Thank you Lord, because right now life is, in general, good. I hope I'd still be grateful even when the going gets tough. You'd still be there right, so yeah, I shan't be paranoid about what is to come and just savor today's blessings.

Sem 7

So now I think I have finalized my semester 7 timetable. I am taking up 6 modules. Woowhew! Let's see, there's my Final Year Project, Design Project, 2 Level 5 modules also being taken up by people pursuing their master's degree, there's one module for my minor, and I've just registered for Chinese 1 (I'm the highest bidder with 1300 points thanks to Wayne's magic tricks).

And I am also working part-time at the Self-access English Learning Facility (SELF) here on campus to save up some funds for my US trip next year. Haha=)

Well, this looks like an overdrive, because normally people in their final year only take up 4 modules per semester to focus on the FYPs I guess.

Anyway. I have valid reasons why I am filling up most of the hours in my weekly schedule. But I hope I do not compromise my sanity.

So help me God.


Dear God,

Now I kind of understand why my life is complicated. Sorry for putting the blame on you. Life is complicated because I am experiencing the reverberations of the actions I have done in the past. You gave us this gift called free will, and instead of following the guidelines You've set up for us, I ventured out in turbulent waters just for the kicks of it.

You know how I am a rebel sometimes. I think I'm so good and I do what I want. And well, you allow me because I am not a puppet, and because if I were to follow You, You'd want it to be out of love and my own choice, and not because it is mandatory and imposed upon.

But thank you for reaching out every time, for providing ways so I can come back to You. I still can't really comprehend how You can forgive me many times over, and how You love me so much. But thank you.

I am really weak, and many times I have resolved to yielding because I am too tired to fight back and stand up to my non-existent convictions. But you never give up on me. Never.

Thank you for giving me another chance to follow You. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to. This is all a blessing in disguise after all.


Monday, August 06, 2007
FYP etc

I just came back from my little discussion with my FYP (final year project) supervisor. I am actually happy he is my supervisor because even though he is smart and has all these credentials, he still falls within the range of normal human beings, you know, those who posses the ability to laugh and tell jokes and stuff.

I remember my mother's friend, who is also a highly esteemed member of the faculty at a university in Taiwan. She was telling us about a certain convention she attended and they were discussing about something very technical like high efficiency propulsion system for launching a projectile -or whatever-...then she told us all the while she was thinking why can't they just discuss about sex. Hahahahaha I really burst out laughing, then my mother had to hush her because a kid was around. And she was pertaining to me.

Okay another sidetrack, when I was in the US, we ate buffet at this restaurant. When the bill came, I was charged half-price because they took me as a kid.

I AM 21 you know, NOT 12!!! I could have already gotten married at Las Vegas if I wanted to muahahahahaa. But of course I didn't, because I still have one more year to go in university, which brings me back again to my first topic - FYP.

So. I am actually excited in this whole final year project thing. I know there would be a lot of challenges along the way. There would be times when I'd be deprived of sleep, or time for doing things that fall under the 'leisure' category...which would eventually lead to a social life that's non-existent. There'd be a lot of whining. There'd be shedding of tears, sweat, or even blood. There'd be madness and wishing for death to come. But it's only for one year, and it'd be over before I know it. Then there'd be exhilaration and self-fulfillment and euphoria. Yes, I'm expecting to experience the extremes because I want to do really good. I want to do great. You know, finish with flying colors and all that cliche (at least for my FYP, because that's too much wishful thinking if I say I'd graduate with flying colors because of the way our grading system is structured).

My last two years in high school was also spent doing something very similar. We plainly call it Research. My project title sounded even more complicated then - Coconut water as mycelial growth enhancer for Volvariella volvacea (paddy straw mushroom) - as opposed to my FYP entitled Biological activated carbon for removal of organics.

It was laborious, and honestly until now I still cannot believe my groupmates and I have this hardbound copy of our research sitting pretty on a shelf at the library in Pisay Davao. For two years my weekends (as other people know it) were gone, and computers and lab facilities became my buddies. I remember one Sunday afternoon at our home, as I was hauling my ass off to go back to Davao, my face was concurrently streaming with tears and I was hugging my mother and telling her I wanted to die already because of too much stress.

Anyway. I SURVIVED!!! Woohoo!!! Thank you God.

And some more, all our hard work paid off because we even got an award at the science fair in school. Woohoo again.

So now I am intending to have a repeat performance. Or make it even better.

My supervisor also gave me a reality check, because I asked him some advice about pursuing further studies. Then of course he emphasized good grades, like I don't already know hmpf.

I mean, sheesh, getting a headstart in life will be so much easier with remarkable grades, in a sense that you already have a passport to good scholarships or good jobs. A lot of opportunities would come knocking on your door, and your biggest problem would be confusion as to which one to choose. Of course there are remarkable people who make it in life without proper education, but they are the exception rather than the rule. They are the anomalies. They had to go through a lot of things to prove their worth, because whether we like it or not, the way the world sees a recent graduate's worth first and foremost is through his/her grades in school.

I know what I'm talking about, because I can see a vast difference in the way opportunities present themselves when I was still an exemplary student then, and a mediocre student now. Having graduated 4th out of 90 in my cohort gave me access to the conveniences and high standards of a first world country which I would never have known existed. I could have gone to any school I wanted to back home, but I was blessed with an even greater opportunity here in Singapore.

But now, if I want to apply for this or for that, they reject me because they look at my grades first, and so I don't even have the chance to show them what else I can offer.

Yeah it's not all about grades, they are not the most important things in life, but no one can deny that THEY DO MATTER. A LOT.

Anyhoo, I am just getting in touch with some sense of realism since I am going out in the real world very soon.

Whew, that was a mouthful. Actually I am just killing some time before going to dinner with Rovin, Maybeline, Robinson, and who else??


Sunday, August 05, 2007

Since I came back, I've only been eating once or twice a day. Maybe I am just - okay I hate to use this word to describe myself, but that's the most appropriate term for now - lazy. You know, to walk 1 million kilometers to Canteen 2 to get my food because the nearest canteen is being renovated. But I think the main reason is to get off the noticeable amount of excess fat I have accumulated from my US stint this summer. Of course, everyday buffet meals, how not to get fat mah??? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner - food galore. Plus unlimited ice cream. Please tell me how I am supposed to stay away from food heaven.

Actually now I have already shrunk to almost the same size when I left. People should have seen me like, weeks ago, when the profile view of my tummy has the same width as its front view before I left, and my tummy is jutting out more than my *.

Anyway. Warning, cryptic language alert.

Things have changed. Last time I seemed so sure because I made myself believe what I wanted to believe. I thought it was a bold move for me to go after what I want, even if I already had an idea that what I'm going for isn't entirely right. It was thrilling and exciting, and I had high hopes that that dream would substantiate into something real, almost tangible. But all I did was to reduce something venerated into something cheeky, superficial, and immature. I still would have gone on with this if not for what I now call my sweetest downfall. Now I understand why certain things in the past had to happen even if they hurt - to prepare me for this. To help me discern what is real and what is not.

These past few months I've been sooooo unlike me, but maybe I just didn't know myself that well yet. I've made shocking discoveries of what I'm capable of, and of those things that I'm not.

Right now I'm still waiting, but this time I'm pretty sure deep down in my heart that I'm not waiting in vain.


My Final Year Project is entitled........ *drumrolls*.........while I go and check my NUS mail again coz I forgot the title.

Biological activated carbon for removal of organics

I think I have regained my interest for environmental engineering. Actually, I think I have regained my interest for engineering in general, and that I am even thinking of further studies in engineering and finding a related job afterwards.

Woah, I really surprised myself you know.

Coz I looked left and right, front and back, and I realized that the only person telling me that I cannot do it is myself. Yep, and that can be easily changed.

Engineering. It came to a point that I had unadulterated loathing for it, but I can't also stand not having it around. I crave for the challenge it gives me, and the sense of empowerment when I overcome its many obstacles.

Woohoo is all I can say. =)

Saturday, August 04, 2007

HAAAAAAAiiii buhay. Eto na naman ako with my one-liner posts.

Friday, August 03, 2007

I changed my blog template without realizing that I HAVE ACTUALLY CHANGED IT!!!

And the worst part is I didn't have a back-up of the old one. OH-NO!-ness!!!!

Walau so...soooo not me this new one...

I'm going to find one that suits me. haiz all the hard work from last time, GONE!!!!'s okay now=)

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Why does life have to be so complicated?

Sunday, June 24, 2007
Of Signs and Sunsets

I just witnessed the most majestic, the most beautiful, the most awe-inspiring sunset ever.

Sunday, June 17, 2007
FYP and Design Project

Gosh I don't know which topics to choose for my final year project (FYP) and Design Project.

Biofilm Microbial Consoritium in an Ultra-Compact Biofilm Reactor

The Operating Characteristics of an Ultra-Compact Biofilm Reactor

Removal of PFOS and PFOA by hybrid MBR+PAC process

Ballistic performance of epoxy matrix composites

Stress intensity factors for surface cracks in the welds of a rack-plate chord in a V-joint

Evaluate the carbonation and chloride-ion penetration in MRT tunnel segments and the effectiveness of using a migratory corrosion inhibitor to control corrosion of steel reinforcement

etc etc etc....

haha what a joke ;)

Friday, June 15, 2007

I really


when people


my emails.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Road Trip

On our way to Lake Powell =)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
A Thousand Words

More photos at

At Lake Powell

There's a good reason why my tummy is like that. Later.

Acting cute by the lake.

At the Gangster Party

With Chee Min

With Daphne Duck

With Kai Lun

With Hui Jun

With KY

Tonight's dinner on my bed while watching Fearless starring Jet Li (because Sen does wushu, thus the sudden interest haha)

Some sort of burger, veggies, fries, chicken

My perpetual dessert: Cookies + Ice cream

I finished the ice cream but not the rest. Hee.

Monday, June 11, 2007
Don't give up on us baby

said my toil-haggard right black shoe to its mate.

It's been my second pair of SG$10 pair of "leather" shoes I bought from the store adjacent to NTUC Clementi (Singapore). Frankly I don't know how much longer my second pair of working shoes will last. Hope some super glue could save the pair from their destitute state.

Yes I know I still haven't uploaded the photos from the outing at Lake Powell, and there's more from last night at the "Gangster Party" at our very own employer's pub here. Yes we do have a pub here, where the ang mohs go to every night to drink, play pool, and just chill out. The Asians also go there sometimes, and it was my first time to go last night because Bethany ( my Deli crew mate) very enthusiastically invited me (and everyone else) to the said party (even though she's not allowed to go in until 1 AM because she's underage - must be 21 or older). We had fun dressing up like gangsters, and I believe the ang mohs found it weird or amusing that we went there just to take photos of ourselves, and that's it. We didn't even order drinks. We also left early, when the "real party" hasn't even started yet.

Earlier that night, we went star-gazing by the way. I have never seen so many stars before in my life. Okay maybe I have, but this is one of those rare occasions I could marvel at a truly star-studded sky. There were telescopes and binoculars set-up at the sun porch at the Grand Canyon Lodge. I got to see Jupiter and its moons Io, Europa, and Ganymede. I didn't see Callisto though. Finally I am now able to recognize Draco the Dragon with parts of its body in between the constellations Big and Little Dipper; Virgo; Leo; and we also examined the binary star system Kuma, and the one near Vega (which I forgot). I had an engaging conversation with the man who owns the binoculars and who gladly shared with us his knowledge about stars and stuff, and it ignited once again my passion for astronomy that seemed to die down when I was shoved by circumstances to study other things.

I almost fainted when I realized we were having a debate about the order of the planets from the sun. I thought it was common knowledge, like the order of the solfege syllables as we know it is Do Re Mi fa Sol La Si/Ti. Someone even stated with conviction that Venus is the fourth planet from the sun, and another one said Mars is the first. Then I told them I would jump off the cliff if it wasn't true that it's Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto - and that sometimes it's Pluto, Neptune. (And I only learned last night that Pluto was demoted from planet status to being a dwarf planet since last year. The news didn't reach my radar quick enough.)

Anyway, I kind of got high emotions as signified by the way my voice turned to high pitch sound waves while conversing with them, because I feel strongly about my basic astronomy ever since I was six years old, when I've first conjured images of myself as a grown-up astronaut. Anyhoo.

Children, when your parents tell you eating green leafy vegetables like saluyot is a surefire way for you to go to the moon or anywhere in outer space, they are bluffing.

Sunday, June 10, 2007
Lake Powell

Today's my day off and I went to Lake Powell with a bunch of my new friends here. It was super fun! I took loads of photos but I've yet to download it from my camera to my laptop, and then upload it here or in my Multiply account. When we came back here at Grand Canyon North Rim, we made a mad dash (ok, not really) to the EDR for our food, because dinner stops at 6:30, and it was already 6:25 or something. Thank God I still managed to get some food, unlike some of my companion who went back to their rooms first to unload their stuff, and when they came here at the EDR, there was no more food left.

Anyway, it was my first time to swim in a lake!


I like it so much compared to swimming in a river (super muddy), or sea (super salty). It's like swimming in a swimming pool, but this one is natural! (okay not entirely, it's a man-made dam but it's huge). What's so great about it is that it's a lake in the desert, so the scenery is like all desert sand, rocks, and the super cold body of water. Oh, plus blue skies and whisks of clouds with silver lining!!!

The lake doesn't have any sand at all. It's a body of water in a rock surface, so it's not at all slippery, no moss or algae or whatnot haha. I really like it=)

And, for the first time in my life, I sunbathed!!!! As in you know, lie in the rock surface and bask in the glare of the hot shining sun after I took a dip in the super cold water=) I was wearing my bikini top some more, so cool! Like in the movies. Haha=) But my belly was super fat okay. Who cares.

Photos to be uploaded. =)

Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Happy Birthday Papa=)

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

My First Video of the Grand Canyon!

**Erm, sorry for the s-word.**


Okie a little intro first. It was my day off and I didn't sign up for any hikes or shopping trips or anything that would take me out of the Grand Canyon North Rim resort. After rearranging the furnitures and cleaning the bathroom of the room I share with Daphne Duck, I starred in my very first MTV!!! Woooohoooonessssssssss hahaha=)

Six-Pack and More

Completely Incomplete

"i have always been complete; even before you came into my life, even before i met you, even before i knew you. but why do i feel that even such completeness feels so empty? i guess you hold the air that makes me breathe, makes me live. you possess the smile that starts my day, and the loving arms i run to when i come home.

did i say i was complete? i take it back. because without you, i can still exist, but i can live no more... "


It's Your Damn Right to be Loved

if i see her,

if i meet her,

if i get to know her;

and if i get to make her mine;

then i'll say to her:

"from now on, you have my heart, hold it, it's yours. and i'll hold your heart, i'll never let go; and from this moment, i will love you, because it's just your damn right to be loved... "


It's You, Really...

i never imagined it to be you, really...

why has love led me to you?

does love know who should love who?

is her decision that you be with me a right one?

do i deserve you?

i can ask all the questions in this universe, but i don't really care...

all i know is that as long as your heart beats in the same way as mine, then i guess i'm home...


Love Me...

just a simple conversation:

boy: would you still want me to love you?

girl: no...

boy: [ kneels. breaks down and cries in front of the love of his life...]

girl: no... i NEED you to love me...



My Intuition

it's like this:

i have a pretty accurate intuition when it comes to determining whether a girl's into me or not; i guess it's 100% accurate, no kidding. but with you, i guess all my confidence means nothing. i have that feeling, but it seems that this time around, i have a doubt, a real big one.

so if i confess to you, only two things can happen: it's either you incinerate my heart into oblivion for the first time, or you make my heart beat, to let me love you, for the first time...


You Have Mine, I Have Yours

now i know why you and i feel so much better, so much fuller, so much happier, so much US.

when i came into this world, part of my heart was stolen from me. i lived, but still the feeling of that incompleteness still lingers, each and everyday i feel it.

but when you opened your world into mine, i guess that piece i was searching for all my life was right there, there in your heart.

and i don't know if it sounds serendipitous but, you found the same thing right inside mine...



The author of all these beautiful musings is none other than my high school researchmate, Jose Carlos Go. He's a good friend, and I've kind of always known him to be a hopeless romantic. I remember those times when he'd use to share about the then(?) love of his life, who in my opinion is the prettiest girl in the cohort.

Anyway, now he's obviously in love again.

I agree with Ivy that it's really nice to be in love haha=)

JC is an eye-candy too (see photo below) but sorry girls, maybe he is single but clearly not available hahaha=)

I swear JC was sort of flabby in high school and no sign of hunkiness whatsoever. Haha sorry but it's true what!!! I remember me telling him about how Brice and Boat goes to the gym and takes protein supplements and stuff, and now this! Congratulations dude.

Okay probably his love life is none of my business, but I find his written thoughts very sweet =) Hope it works out well for both him and his girl. =)

Sunday, June 03, 2007
Happy Flif

I tried calling Papa and Mama's cellphones, as well as our home, but I got no answer using all of their numbers. I just wanted to say hi and greet my sister a very happy birthday. I was so excited at first, but after at least two tries in all of the numbers and to no avail, I almost ended up in tears. I just got off from work, was tired, became disappointed, and the frigid night air wasn't helping at all, since the payphone was located outside in the open air. I didn't have my sister's number since my cellphone is still in Los Angeles, where I stupidly left it.

Actually it is still June 2 here, 10 PM+...and so it's June 3, 1PM+ back in the Philippines. I edited the date of this post so it would reflect June 3, my sister's birthday.


Friday, June 01, 2007
Sticks and Stones

More photos at

I really do. =)

Monday, May 28, 2007

and no time for other stuff anymore....hee....but it's not that bad.

until now, my camera is still sitting happily inside my luggage.

tomorrow will be better i guess.

Saturday, May 26, 2007
Grades and Point and Shoot

Thank you Lord for my grades. Nuff said!=)


Finally, I have my very own PINK camera and I'm lovin' it!!!

Now I can take photos whenever, wherever. =)

Thank you Lord for the blessings!!!=)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


That's all part of it.

For once, just for tonight, for a change, I wouldn't care.

It's complicated.

Zion National Park Super Adventures

Today was a glorious and action-packed day.

I woke up at around 5:30 am, because my new friends Kai Lun and KY told me that we'll be meeting at the Employee Dining Room (EDR) at around 6:15 am. We signed up for the trip to Zion National Park, and the shuttle will be leaving at 7 am. So we had breakfast and all, and we were quite worried then because there were not a lot of people up yet, and there was a minimum of 8 people required to go if the trip were to push through. However, when it was about time to go and I was comfortably sitting inside the shuttle with my friends, I was asked to get out because I was the 13th person to sign up (actually I was the 15th haha), and the cap was 12! I'm grateful that my friends fought for me, and it turned out that there were just exactly 12 of us because the other people didn't show up, so I was very happy I could go.

It was about a 2-hr drive to Zion. On the way there, I noticed something falling from the sky, but it certainly didn't seem like ordinary rain because there were no water droplets in the windshield. When I looked outside the side windows, I noticed the pine woods and the ground beneath being covered in white.


Gosh it was a magical moment for me, because it was my first time seeing snow fall from the sky. I was so happy I almost cried, but of course that would seem really silly, so I just joined my Asian friends in a chorus of oooh's and woooow's. I think our American friends were amused at us.

When we reached Zion, I was very partial towards my affinity to Grand Canyon. However, I would soon later find out that it is hard not to fall in love with Zion National Park! The major difference I noticed is that in the Grand Canyon, you'll feel like you are on top of the world (because in a sense you are!), while in Zion, you are in the midst of towering rock mountains. In short, at the Grand Canyon, you look down to see the scenic view, while in Zion, you look up!

We ate lunch and dinner at the EDR in Zion, since it is owned by the same company (Xanterra) that also runs the Grand Canyon North Rim. The food was really great! It was like dining in a restaurant, can!!! Especially the dessert...whereby later during dinner we extinguished their supply of cheesecakes displayed at the fridge. Sorry Zion folks, but your chocolate and strawberry cheesecakes were pleasing to the eye and sumptuous to the palate, we just couldn't help ourselves with taking more than one serving each.

The 12 of us separated into 4 groups: Chinese couple, American couple, American Auntie solo, and six of us in a group (3 Singaporeans, 2 Indonesians, 1 American, and 1 Filipino, yours truly).

My group went to hike up Hidden Canyon. When we were at the trailhead, we looked up, up, up. There was a warning that said:

Falls from the cliffs here have resulted to death. Be careful.

Or something to that effect.

We were going to hike up this foreboding solid rock, and we were not exactly geared up for it. One of us even wore ballet-styled shoes, and now I really salute her for having been made it. I was wearing my ever-dependable All-Star Chucks, my favorite pants, favorite top, and favorite pink sweater...all of which are part of my typical school get-up back in Singapore.

The first part was a seemingly never-ending spiral up the solid rock, and I really laud the civil engineers who carved the trail out of that natural wonder. The paved roads where shuttles drive by became smaller and smaller on our ascent, and the trail became trickier, narrower, and steeper. There were even solid chains welded on the rock that we had to hold on to to prevent falling off the cliffs. Then we reached the heart of the maintained trail, where pools of water carved on the rocks greeted us. At that point I was already running out of superlatives to give justice to the scenic view. It was very beautiful.

Then came a very tricky part of the trail, and there was in fact a sign there that said "SCRAMBLING REQUIRED", but I've only read it after going through it on the way back.

That part was pure fun and excitement, where we were like treasure hunting and going through rock crevices where only one person could go at a time. We had to climb the jagged portions while we had no idea how to get down afterwards. We decided it was a problem we'd had to face later. But of course eventually we managed to climb down, or else I won't be here typing, right? We also put into practice our balancing skills on tree logs that served as bridges further up the trail.

After two hours of hiking up and with the canyon walls closing in on us, we decided we'd had enough when we reached the point where there seemed to have an avalanche of rocks millions of years ago that stopped short a pack of dinosaurs from coming through in a stampede. At least that's how I imagined it to be. It required pure "scrambling" and spider-man-like stunts to get through, and we gave consideration to our friend who wore ballet-like shoes. Haha.

Then we hiked down and took a lot of photos, which I most probably will get only when we reach Singapore.

On our way back, I pretended to be asleep, but was actually straining my ear to listen to the American soon-to-be-couple as they got to know each other more. I believe today was their first date, and what better way to spend it than hiking in Zion. Their topics of conversation ranged from getting to know their birthdays, number of siblings, quizzing each other on the state capitals, God, sex and how many people they have slept with (the guy claimed he'd already slept with 40 different women - at which point I almost fainted), past relationships, opinion about holding hands, etc. It was very interesting listening to them, and when the girl mentioned she attracts lesbians, I wasn't surprised at all. I mean, I know I am 101% certified straight female, but I couldn't help but appreciate her beauty, as well as her well-toned and chiseled features. And she is super friendly some more. The guy would really be a total loser in every sense if he loses her.

As we were nearing Grand Canyon, at the same place where it had snowed earlier, guess what??? It snowed again!!! Haha, as if to conclude the day's adventures.

So fun!

Monday, May 21, 2007
More Than

...More than my heart's desire
I have fallen to the point of no return
More than my heart could know
More than in love with you...

At first the lyrics seem to have come from a typical BGR (boy-girl relationship) love song, but it's actually from a love song to God by the Christian band, Hillsong.

Right now I'm listening to it.

Sometimes, when I am in the midst of the familiar, I feel safe and invincible...and act as though my actions have no eternal consequences. Sometimes I half-believe that there is a God who could always see even the littlest of my actions.

But when I am alone and away from the usual course of things, it is when I see how fragile and vulnerable I can be on my own, and that I depend solely on God for strength.

Last night was the first time I have been mesmerized by a crescent-shaped moon. It was a perfect silver ornament set across a dark azure backdrop, like those sparkling moon-shaped pendants sold in silver jewelry stores. It was a sight to behold, and I never thought the moon could be as beautiful as that even if it's not a full moon.

I then felt the presence of God, of His majesty. If there are places on this fallen world that can be as splendid as this, how much more abounding in beauty the perfect Heaven can be.

Let me close with a line from a poem way back in elementary school. All things bright and beautiful, the Lord God made them all.

Friday, May 18, 2007
A big, big smile

...has suddenly crept across my face.

I was about to go already, but checked my hotmail account in a haste just in case the-one-whose-name-I-doodle-with-surrounding-hearts has something for me.

Gosh I sooooo want to share what he wrote, but I think it's not proper to broadcast people's mails haha=) It's so suuuuuuuper sweet eh...=) Everyday it's like the highlight of my day, reading his mail. I anticipate getting mails from him, yet I feel afraid at the same time when I check my mails, because maybe there's none. But so far I get one everyday, so thank you very much for making me happy dear haha=)

I am the happiest girl in the world right this very second ;p


I'm kind of tired.

After work today I went directly to my room, undressed coz I was supposed to wash my uniform, plopped into bed, and found myself sleeping like a baby. I worked from 6am and a little past 2:30pm straight. I missed my breakfast coz the shuttle was already leaving, if not I'd have to take a walk in the woods or the highway in the freezing cold of the morning to get to the Deli at the Lodge. Or of course take the second shuttle and be late..(but I'll be late too if I walked haha..anyway). And what's more, my co-worker didn't show up coz he wasn't sure whether he had to be there at 6 as well, and so Amy (the nicest manager in the world) and I had a crazy morning working at the Deli. The last time I sat down before the 8.5 hours of work was when I was at the shuttle van, and after that, I was always on my feet and moving about until I slept after work.

It turns out that Jeremy slept at 5am, and we were supposed to report at 6. But it's okay, he's a nice guy - always giving a shoutout like "Good job Korinna! (or Corona, my new nickname here, after a brand of beer). He and his brother Adam are always hanging out with us Asians here. They're very nice people.

Oh, and they're at the photo below, the one with us at Transept Trail overlooking the canyon.

I'm super happy when I found a Sidney Sheldon book (If Tomorrow Comes) at their mini library here. Of course I've devoured it already. Next up is Kiss the Girls by James Patterson, my second most-favorite novelist. They have a nice collection of novels here to keep us occupied. Beside the books are a cacophony of board games for bored people haha. And, another collection of movies. Last week we were almost always watching movies every night at our dorms, but now people have different schedules so it's quite difficult to get everyone together.

It's really nice to work here. Apart from the fact that we are in one of the most beautiful places on earth, I feel that we are well taken care of.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007
three months less one week

until we see each other again. Haha he counted...I'm so touched.


much much (*10^infinity)...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Three Photos...and some more coming!!!

I got these photos from my new friend's blog. Haha=) I don't have a camera, so I'm waiting unil she sends me the rest of the photos I'm in.

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On top of a rock overlooking the canyon.

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At Transept Trail with newfound friends, overlooking the canyon again.

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Not so impressive photo of the canyon. You have to be there to appreciate it I guess. ;p

Monday, May 14, 2007
Food Trip

I am on my knees as I am writing this. I intended to stand up, but the laptop wire wouldn't reach the cabinet top where I could place my laptop to type, so now I'm kneeling by my bed. I don't want to sit and see my belly fold into three layers of fat. It's better to write in this position - at least my belly is still just one layer, with only a little bit of it spilling over my pants. Haha=)

My gosh. The food here is really in abundance. If I go hungry here, it would entirely be my fault. No wonder some of the folks here have their girth the size of Arizona...oops did I just write that? Erase, erase. (But really!)

They really take care of us here. The room where employees get their food is like this:

1.) When you enter, there's this fridge for canned and bottled drinks.
2.) On the right is the station for spoons, forks, knives, trays, and napkins.
3.) Then you go up to queue, where you pass by the freezer for ice cream. We have FREE FLOW of five different flavors of ice cream by the way.
4.) Then there's the section for big plates, little plates, and bowls.
5.) Then the section for four different kinds of cereals.
6.) Then the section for all sorts of bread.
7.) Then the section for whatever the main dishes they're serving (there are usually 4-6 trays of food and you can just take whatever you want). For breakfast there's always bacon, sausages, omelette, pancakes, french toast among other things...the all-American breakfast stuff. My goodness!!!
8.) Then there are fruits.
9.) And packets of jam, syrup, etc for pancakes and french toast and stuff (during breakfast).
10.) Then on the island counter, there is the sandwich bar (like the one you see in Subway), and on the other side is the salad bar with all sorts of stuff for making salad.
11.) Then on the drinks counter, there's coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk chocolate, milk, softdrinks dispenser with coke, sprite, rootbeer, fanta, iced tea, etc..then there's also a dispenser for artificial fruit drinks (orange, grapes, apple, pineapple)
12.) Then there's always dessert. Cakes, cookies, or pies.

So you see, every meal time I am always stuffed, especially the first few days. I've always been compelled to take a little bit of everything, which when you all add up, is A LOT. I always take dessert too - I combine their cake or cookie or pie with ice cream. Haiz I must refrain from this unhealthy practice soon...haha=)

I make it a point to always munch on lettuce and cherry tomatoes, just so I can say I eat vegetables... because for the first thirteen years of my life I've been mainly a carnivorous creature I guess.

That's why, everyday since I came here I've been hiking or taking a walk every after meal time. It's not only because of the scenic views along the way, but also to shed off some calories and lay off some guilt.

Oh, but after dinner tonight I didn't take go trekking. It's because tonight we had "Shakedown Dinner" over at the Grand Canyon Lodge, which is the the dry run for what's gonna happen over there for the rest of the season. It's also practice for the waiters and kitchen staff over there before the park opens tomorrow. Lunch was at the Deli (where I work, so we had practice too=) But over there it's mainly self-service coz we sell snacks like pizza, subs, hotdogs, salads, rice bowls etc.. so we don't wait on tables). And oh yeah, we can eat anything at the Deli for free too.

For the Shakedown Dinner there were only four of us girls at the table, and our bill amounted to a staggering $113.95!!! (It was a fine dining restaurant, and everything was great especially the dessert). Haha we even took a photo of our receipt. But we didn't pay a single cent, coz it's like an annual thing for the employees before the park season starts=) We just had to sign the receipt for record-keeping I guess.

So...because of all the mega chowdown I'm engaging myself in, I always do stomach crunches in the morning and yeah, go hiking everyday. =)

But after a few more days the initial shock of such an abundance in terms of food selection and amount would wear off I guess, and I won't need to worry so much about increasing ten times in size when I get back home.

And I guess the nature of my work will keep me on my toes all the time, so it's also a form of exercise I guess ;p

Shall blog more about my work when it really starts, which is tomorrow.=)

Happy Mother's Day!

A shout-out to my mama and to all mothers out there=)


Friday, May 11, 2007
I know what you did last summer

What happened tonight was straight out of a scene from a horror movie. The only thing lacking was the background music that could make your heart pound like there's no tomorrow, and of course the alleged "dangerous man" with the foot-long dagger.

It was like this. On my second day at the Grand Canyon, after dinner I went hiking with Chee Min, Pascal, Singaporean Guy, Angie, and Another Indonesian Girl.

Oh and by the way, as I am writing this, I am sneezing like mad.

And my nose is bleeding again.

Anyway, so Chee Min and I lead the way to the Bright Angel Point, where we went yesterday. It was a long walk from our dorm. There were a lot of stopovers along the way and photo-taking, mainly because every viewing point we stop by was misconstrued as the Bright Angel Point already, and they were taking their time happily taking photos. Then we had to tell them, "No, this is not it yet!". To cut the story short, we never proceeded all the way to our intended destination because it was sunset already.

However, we climbed one of the rocks along the way again in order to get a better view...and wow...not for the faint-hearted and those with weak knees. A lot of times I was tempted to look down, and I did, but I had to gather myself once again, or else. Because there was only this rock, the narrow trail to the left, and then thousands of feet all the way down. We cannot even see the bottom of it.

Anyway, what a view. I look at the Grand Canyon and see God's greatness and majesty. It sits peacefully there in all its grandeur. No photograph could ever do justice to it. I was tempted to post some photos of the Grand Canyon from the internet because I don't have a camera, but the pictures pale very much in comparison to the real thing. You have to experience it to really appreciate it.

So anyway, after the sight-seeing and picture taking, we decided to walk back because it was getting dark. It was a long way to go...and well, we got lost. We were walking along the highway, but we walked past the clearing that leads to our dorm. However, Chee Min was summoned by the daredevil in her to go ahead and check out the entrance to the trail to the left of the highway a few meters in front of us, so the five of us just stood there on the highway enveloped in darkness and gazing at shooting stars.

However, it was already getting eerie so we called out her name and yelled we'll look for the way all together. But we never heard any response from her! She was carrying her torchlight, and for a while we couldn't see the ray of light anymore. And then the light reappeared, and we were still calling out her name from a distance. Finally we heard an answer, but Pascal and Singaporean Guy said it was a man's voice! The torchlight was coming towards us, and we couldn't see anything else. The five of already had our pulse racing and imaginations going wild. What if a dangerous man abducted her and now he's turning towards us?!

Our instincts kicked in and we ran to the nearest establishment we saw, which turned out to be a newly built, albeit vacant, lodge. We went inside the glass door and gathered in one of the rooms. All conversations were carried out in a hush-hush manner, and we limited our every move so that the "dangerous man" wouldn't find us in our hiding place. We were all getting very anxious already, which was compounded with guilt for leaving our friend behind. We were deliberating whether to go out and face the man and take the chance of being butchered, or just stay there inside the room until morning. It was so not funny at all anymore, and none of us could believe this was happening. We were questioning why Chee Min wasn't answering us, and if the "dangerous man" really got her, why she didn't scream. Then Pascal and I provided the answer at the same time by covering our mouth with our hand, which suggested she may be abducted that way.

We decided that we cannot just stay in the room forever, so we went out and tiptoed across the new lodge. We looked for a backdoor - the first one was locked so we couldn't use it. The second was all ebony outside, and found it too dangerous to walk out of.

We stayed inside the lodge for a while, while Singaporean Guy and Another Indonesian Girl went inside another room to look outside the window and try to call for help. Alas, all attempts with the cellphone were in vain, as there is no network coverage up here.

While Pascal, Angie, and I waited outside the room, I told them to pray whatever their religion may be...because well, what else could we do?

After a long while (well, it seemed like that), we decided to go out and take a chance. We already figured out the right direction back to our dorm, so we stepped into blackness and marched arm in arm towards it. My extremeties were starting to get frozen too, and my eyes were straining to see the road ahead. We walked very fast, while looking back from time to time just to check if the "dangerous man" is right behind us.

We found a car along the highway, but unfortunately it missed us, so we walked faster again. A second car was just approaching us, and we stood across it and flashed our torchlight. Thank heavens it stopped, and the man was kind enough to take us and drive us back to where we lost Chee Min.

When we went back, we screamed her name but nobody answered. We were all getting very tensed, but we decided to go back to the dorm just in case she found her way back already. We rushed out of the car, and we created quite a commotion over at the dorm. The people were all out of their rooms and they said Chee Min went back already, but went off again probably to look for us.

Turns out that she was in the first car we saw along the highway that missed us.

And, it was really her with the torchlight coming towards us, but we just couldn't hear her reply to our calls. There was no "dangerous man" running after us after all. Thank God!

Well, we had a good laugh afterwards and we learned a lesson or two: never separate and be back at the dorm by sunset!!!

Only two days at the Grand Canyon and my stay has been very action-packed already. From holding on to rocks for dear life above thousands of feet of chasm, to running for our life while enveloped in blackness...whoa, the start of my summer adventures. And of course, cheers to newfound friends.

Thank you Lord for keeping us safe in the palm of your hands.

Thursday, May 10, 2007
At Grand Canyon at long last!!!


Where do I start? Right now it's 9:36 pm Wednesday in Arizona. So many things have happened and I think I need to give an outline of what happened since I left Singapore (in order to refresh my memory too).

Sunday, May 6, 2000+ (Singapore) : THANK YOU ARTHUR, ROBINSON, and yes JOSEPH for helping me with my stuff. Couldn't have relocated my heavy stuff without you guys.=)

Monday, May 7, 1100 (Singapore) : I said goodbye to Ridge View Residences forever and boarded a taxi to Changi Airport.

Monday, May 7, 1450 (Singapore) : I flew from Singapore to Taipei

Monday, May 7, 1950+ (Taipei) : I wanted to sms my parents and relatives, and to my horror my prepaid credits have evaporated already. Fortunately (I THOUGHT), I have an unused Singtel hiCard with me so I could just top-up there. But for some reason I cannot, and thus asked for Wayne's help. I also emailed my relatives who will be fetching me about my situation. I wasn't sure if Wayne would get my email in time, good thing is that I found my TR3001 projectmate Nicholas so he sms-ed my relatives in the US too.

Monday, May 7, 1930+ (Los Angeles) Yes, by means of hocus-pocus it is still 7:30pm in LA, and it is still Monday, even after traveling for 10 hours plus on the plane.

*I hope people are not so gullible.*
*PEOPLE, must watch THE CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER starring Gong Li and Chow Yun Fat. It is..a weird movie I can't get enough of. It showcases the grandeur of imperial China during the Tang dynasty with all those elaborate costumes and mega bucks backdrop. However, story-wise, they all ended up whacking each other up to pulp but in a very...grandiose...manner. I didn't feel anything while watching it but I ended up tuning watching it over and over again, I don't know why.

Monday, May 7, 2200+ (Los Angeles) : Met my relatives, ate at Denny's. I ate only half of it, because I just ate BREAKFAST on the plane during the flight, then suddenly it became night. But at Denny's, I ate half of what they call Grand Slam breakfast. Yep so cool they serve breakfast 24 hours a day so you can have pancakes, bacon, sausages, etc anytime you want.

Tuesday, May 8, (?) (Las Vegas) : Sin City in the middle of nowhere. Casinos and gyrating girls everywhere with their boobs spilling out of their scanty top. My aunts also told me to pose for those Chipendale guys (nuff said, next time I'll put up the photos muahahaha. Sen, I love you very much okay =p). We drove to downtown Las Vegas and the Strip (I think) order for me to get an "overview", as Auntie Sally had put it. Saw Caesar's Palace, New York New York, Paris Las Vegas, MGM Grand etc.. Then we went down to the Mirage and watched the eruption of the fake volcano in front of it, and proceeded to the Venetian. Took lots of solo photos of me (harhar). But since they were tired already and we had an early schedule for the next day, we left at around midnight. They told me to come back after my work and spend two more nights there.

*BTW, we ate dinner at World Carnival Buffet. Next time I go there I would starve myself for three days to milk the money's worth. I think I ate only 1/8 of the food selection, and with that I felt sick already. I had to excuse myself from the table and rush to the toilet because I felt like puking, defecating, I had runny nose, etc all at the same time. It's like every orifice in my body needed to expel something else my whole body would self-destruct by gastronomic explosion.

*It was truly a food paradise.

*It was also here that I realized I LEFT MY PHONE BACK IN LOS ANGELES on top of Auntie Sally's bedroom cabinet. Gosh, of all times I can be irresponsible, why this time?????? So, I am terribly sorry for myself and for Wayne, because he just topped up my phone, right. (REALLY WANYE, THANK YOU SO SUPER MUCH).

Wednesday, May 9, 8000 (somewhere between Las Vegas, Nevada and St. George, Utah) : We ate at a certain breakfast buffet! BUFFET AGAIN!!! I had bacon, suasages, mashed potato, ham, pancake, french toast, even the good 'ol American steak, cupcake, whipped cream plus cheese thingamajiggy mousse in my plate (again, I didn't manage to take everything), fruits, plus orange juice..erm I don't know exactly what else I gobbled up...but assuredly, I felt sick again.

Wednesday, May 9, 1400 (I don't know what time zone anymore) : Auntie Norma had to lift up the heavy metal Road Closed sign twice along the way so we could proceed. When they described Grand Canyon as remote, they were not exaggerating. It is as remote as remote could get.

*There were still snow patches along the way and we stopped so we could take a photo of me holding the snow!!! Afterwards I think my hands got shocked for the unexpected coldness.

*Oh yeah, it is COLD here even if it's May already. Maybe it's just me. I feel like all the places I've been to so far resemble a gigantic fridge in terms of the temperature, but my aunties were complaining "It's so hot!"...Wow. If my cold is their "hot", then their "cold" is my what?

*I played Captain's Ball with the other people from Singapore at above 8000 ft from the sea level. The air here is so thin and cool and dry, and I was a bit alarmed when I found myself unable to breathe during the game. I stopped and drank lots of water, but I felt my nose bleeding inside. Back in Las Vegas my nose bled a bit too.

*After I emailed Sen, my parents, and ate dinner...I finally saw the Grand Canyon.

It is unbelievably beautiful.

We had this newfound friend Adam who led us to the viewing deck where the only thing that separates you from the 5,000 ft chasm are metal bars that run along the height of my waist. Along the way to that viewing deck is also very surreal, because you can see an almost panoramic view of the canyon.

(Sen would be the perfect companion for me eh. Previously, I asked him which place on earth he'd like to go to the most, and he answered Grand Canyon. Back then he didn't know yet I was going there for the summer.)


Anyway, Adam, Shi Min, and I even climbed a rock and stood on it so we could see THE WHOLE THING unobstructed. There were no metal bars, no nothing, to hold on to. I think it is the most (un)crazy thing I have ever done so far, given the apparent dangers of sliding off the cliff and down into the abyss.

It won't probably be the last time I'll do that though. Haha=) (I think I must clearly state though that I VALUE MY LIFE. Yeah.)

Oh yeah, I am working at the Deli shop. I hope I get a lot of tips haha=)


Lord, thank you for giving me this opportunity. I shall face the challenges head on, for I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength=).

I shall prove to everyone that 3 months without cell phone can be done. Haha=) Erm, even if I had it with me, there's so cell signal here too. That's how ulu this place is.

AND DAVE!!! Thank you soooooo much for offering to help=) I shall contact you most probably after my contract here??? Coz right now I think I am stuck here. Haha=)


Monday, May 07, 2007
in Taiwan feeling lost and desperate

Dear God,

I am low in prepaid credits and for some reason I cannot top-up using the singtel hi card I brought along with me:( I am not able to sms anymore, especially the ones who will fetch me later.

Please make a way for me to meet them. And please guide me...coz even if I don't want to admit it I'm feeling a teeny bit scared being far far away and alone=(

Thank you very much btw for the free wireless internet here so I'm able to ask around for some help from people in Singapore.

I hope everything will be alright. Please.