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Sunday, August 05, 2007
Fatso

Since I came back, I've only been eating once or twice a day. Maybe I am just - okay I hate to use this word to describe myself, but that's the most appropriate term for now - lazy. You know, to walk 1 million kilometers to Canteen 2 to get my food because the nearest canteen is being renovated. But I think the main reason is to get off the noticeable amount of excess fat I have accumulated from my US stint this summer. Of course, everyday buffet meals, how not to get fat mah??? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner - food galore. Plus unlimited ice cream. Please tell me how I am supposed to stay away from food heaven.

Actually now I have already shrunk to almost the same size when I left. People should have seen me like, weeks ago, when the profile view of my tummy has the same width as its front view before I left, and my tummy is jutting out more than my *.

Anyway. Warning, cryptic language alert.

Things have changed. Last time I seemed so sure because I made myself believe what I wanted to believe. I thought it was a bold move for me to go after what I want, even if I already had an idea that what I'm going for isn't entirely right. It was thrilling and exciting, and I had high hopes that that dream would substantiate into something real, almost tangible. But all I did was to reduce something venerated into something cheeky, superficial, and immature. I still would have gone on with this if not for what I now call my sweetest downfall. Now I understand why certain things in the past had to happen even if they hurt - to prepare me for this. To help me discern what is real and what is not.

These past few months I've been sooooo unlike me, but maybe I just didn't know myself that well yet. I've made shocking discoveries of what I'm capable of, and of those things that I'm not.

Right now I'm still waiting, but this time I'm pretty sure deep down in my heart that I'm not waiting in vain.

SO ANYWAY.

My Final Year Project is entitled........ *drumrolls*.........while I go and check my NUS mail again coz I forgot the title.

Biological activated carbon for removal of organics

I think I have regained my interest for environmental engineering. Actually, I think I have regained my interest for engineering in general, and that I am even thinking of further studies in engineering and finding a related job afterwards.

Woah, I really surprised myself you know.

Coz I looked left and right, front and back, and I realized that the only person telling me that I cannot do it is myself. Yep, and that can be easily changed.

Engineering. It came to a point that I had unadulterated loathing for it, but I can't also stand not having it around. I crave for the challenge it gives me, and the sense of empowerment when I overcome its many obstacles.

Woohoo is all I can say. =)


1 Comment(s):

Blogger fleeting mist said...

wooohooo!


yesh...engineering is already our next of kin :P

i guess it starts with mindset

we have one more year of engineering undergraduate! all the best!

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