niel and i are friends again. haha. ok, so now i've accepted the fact that he already found somebody new, so i might as well get on with my life already. by the way, i didn't know mama got worried sick about me, because she couldn't view my blog for some reason, i wouldn't answer her calls (my phone was on silent mode, sorry), i was always offline in msn (that's because i go online at night, when she's not in her office anymore), and the last message i sent her was 'i miss niel=(' . maybe she thought i jumped off my window already or what. finally she caught me in msn, as i ta pau-ed my dinner and went online while she was still in her office. we chatted for a while, yey. thanks ma. i love you.
anyway, so..now there's only one other person whom i haven't shown substantial effort to be friends with again. anyway, i could relate to his last post, as i traversed that same lonely road last night, when, out of the blue, i decided to just go to his hall for no reason at all. i was rehearsing in my mind what i would be about to say though. but actually i was planning to just go have a look at him, then leave. if he asks why i went there, i'll just say 'i just wanted to see you', and leave. sometimes i scare myself, keeping the rational korinna in me in the deepest recesses of my being, and letting that other korinna emerge. anyway, he wasn't there. at least i was greeted by his now friendly roommate with a smile. and i was able to exercise.
back to niel again. he made kwento about his new girl, aileen. i saw her pic in friendster. pretty. though every word in his email about aileen still scorched my feelings, well, i've finally decided not to eradicate him in my life. yep, i will still listen. i will still be his friend. i will still love him, but now only as a friend. YEAH RIGHT. haha. for he is a jewel, and it's better to have him as a friend than not have him at all.
funny. because i'm actually a jealous friend. i'm a jealous friend when that friend is special to me. maybe it doesn't show. because maybe that person doesn't know how special that person is. maybe because i do not tell that person.
anyway, i've lost count on how many crushes i've had since i got here. when i see a fairly good-looking guy, in my head i will say 'ah, from now on you are my crush'. it's just my way of appreciating God's wonderful creations. now, i've defind 'crush' as merely admiration for good looks. crushes are not special to me. and 'good looks' should be in accordance to the standards i set.
i have a friend who is not my crush. but it's not hard to fall for this person. (especially now that niel has aileen already, wouldn't it be fair if i would have someone special too? hahaha.) but then, cannot. we are too different. but are those subtle hints you like me back or just products of my imagination? i'll stick with the latter. so now i have the right to sing that line from rivermaya's Bali Song: " ..for all i know you only see me as a friend.. " haha. life. even though my love life is a big fat zero, i am not in a hurry anyway. or maybe this paragraph you are reading is tantamount to bullcrap and nothing more.
i still have tons of things to do. ciao!
anyway, so..now there's only one other person whom i haven't shown substantial effort to be friends with again. anyway, i could relate to his last post, as i traversed that same lonely road last night, when, out of the blue, i decided to just go to his hall for no reason at all. i was rehearsing in my mind what i would be about to say though. but actually i was planning to just go have a look at him, then leave. if he asks why i went there, i'll just say 'i just wanted to see you', and leave. sometimes i scare myself, keeping the rational korinna in me in the deepest recesses of my being, and letting that other korinna emerge. anyway, he wasn't there. at least i was greeted by his now friendly roommate with a smile. and i was able to exercise.
back to niel again. he made kwento about his new girl, aileen. i saw her pic in friendster. pretty. though every word in his email about aileen still scorched my feelings, well, i've finally decided not to eradicate him in my life. yep, i will still listen. i will still be his friend. i will still love him, but now only as a friend. YEAH RIGHT. haha. for he is a jewel, and it's better to have him as a friend than not have him at all.
funny. because i'm actually a jealous friend. i'm a jealous friend when that friend is special to me. maybe it doesn't show. because maybe that person doesn't know how special that person is. maybe because i do not tell that person.
anyway, i've lost count on how many crushes i've had since i got here. when i see a fairly good-looking guy, in my head i will say 'ah, from now on you are my crush'. it's just my way of appreciating God's wonderful creations. now, i've defind 'crush' as merely admiration for good looks. crushes are not special to me. and 'good looks' should be in accordance to the standards i set.
i have a friend who is not my crush. but it's not hard to fall for this person. (especially now that niel has aileen already, wouldn't it be fair if i would have someone special too? hahaha.) but then, cannot. we are too different. but are those subtle hints you like me back or just products of my imagination? i'll stick with the latter. so now i have the right to sing that line from rivermaya's Bali Song: " ..for all i know you only see me as a friend.. " haha. life. even though my love life is a big fat zero, i am not in a hurry anyway. or maybe this paragraph you are reading is tantamount to bullcrap and nothing more.
i still have tons of things to do. ciao!
0 Comment(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home