Ya I know it's already 4:42 am, and I was about to sleep already but I got out of bed to blog. This day had been an eventful one.
Okay, I must admit I didn't go to church today (or a while ago). I was waging a war against God because I was very pissed with Him and all that's happening. The past few days I felt so insignificant, useless, and all those crappy feelings one could ever feel. It event went to a point whereby (ok never mind, no need to elaborate).
Anyway, after writing on a sheet of paper 'God, I hate you' and signed my name on it, I felt even worse as expected and I had to go back to my room to cry because I couldn't study properly anymore. And some more, I was studying in YIH, not a proper place make drama and emote.
(Ok, this part I could also skip...if you've watched any drama serial on tv before, that'd suffice.)
Then of course, I realized that I can never stand on my own and if I stray more from Him, I'm just punishing myself. So I tried to talk to Him and told him my woes and why I'm angry...and I read the Bible. I turned to Genesis and read Jospeh's story again. Whenever unpleasant things happen, I try to remember Joseph's story..because for me his story is the epitome of horrible things happening to a person that ultimately lead to the realization of God's grand plans. Then I asked God to hug me. And the angels too. Actually I didn't feel anything. But I fell asleep for two hours, and when I woke up, I felt much better already.
Anyway, I GOT A MAIL FROM GOOGLE TODAY!!!
It's so cool, with a big and colorful GOOGLE logo at the back. It's just to verify my account and to give me my Google PIN so they could send me payments.
HOWEVER.
I am not going to receive any payment because my account got suspended. No, deleted. Even though it is so embarrassing to admit, yeah I committed click fraud. I clicked the ads displayed on my own site. At first I was just curious if my earnings would really increase with each click, and when it did, I got very greedy. I have read in their terms and conditions that I am not supposed to do what I did, but I was also curious about the consequences (coz it seems like Google is not penalizing me). Well, one day when my earnings were more than US$80 already, I got an email from them saying they're deleting my account, which is perfectly fine for me because I know I'm guilty. At least now I've verified that Google really protects the interest of their advertisers...which is why I am back to being an advertiser again! More details after I put up my business blog again, and this time I will be presenting my true self...not a guru of some sort which I am not.
Oh yeah, I am also so super happy that I found this Filipino guy named Paowiee in one of the forums I'm in...and he's also into internet marketing. He's a senior student in Ateneo de Manila, and even as a newbie (we started at about the same time, sometime in May last summer), he already earned some legitimate money already (unlike me). He is a voracious learner and he is all over internet forums to learn about stuff. His blog is www.myextrastash.com, and when I read his posts, I feel like "Hey I am like that too!!!".
One problem with me is that I find it very hard to get things through to the finish. It's like having a goal of chopping down a big tree in 1 hour. Paowiee spent the first 45 minutes sharpening this one axe that he will be using, while I spent the same amount of time eenie-minie-miney-moeing which axe to use, and I didn't even have enough time to sharpen it...much less chop the tree with it.
Anyway, I know I have a lot of screw-ups...but every morning marks another day to make things right again.
Okay, I must admit I didn't go to church today (or a while ago). I was waging a war against God because I was very pissed with Him and all that's happening. The past few days I felt so insignificant, useless, and all those crappy feelings one could ever feel.
Anyway, after writing on a sheet of paper 'God, I hate you' and signed my name on it, I felt even worse as expected and I had to go back to my room to cry because I couldn't study properly anymore. And some more, I was studying in YIH, not a proper place make drama and emote.
(Ok, this part I could also skip...if you've watched any drama serial on tv before, that'd suffice.)
Then of course, I realized that I can never stand on my own and if I stray more from Him, I'm just punishing myself. So I tried to talk to Him and told him my woes and why I'm angry...and I read the Bible. I turned to Genesis and read Jospeh's story again. Whenever unpleasant things happen, I try to remember Joseph's story..because for me his story is the epitome of horrible things happening to a person that ultimately lead to the realization of God's grand plans. Then I asked God to hug me. And the angels too. Actually I didn't feel anything. But I fell asleep for two hours, and when I woke up, I felt much better already.
Anyway, I GOT A MAIL FROM GOOGLE TODAY!!!
It's so cool, with a big and colorful GOOGLE logo at the back. It's just to verify my account and to give me my Google PIN so they could send me payments.
HOWEVER.
I am not going to receive any payment because my account got suspended. No, deleted. Even though it is so embarrassing to admit, yeah I committed click fraud. I clicked the ads displayed on my own site. At first I was just curious if my earnings would really increase with each click, and when it did, I got very greedy. I have read in their terms and conditions that I am not supposed to do what I did, but I was also curious about the consequences (coz it seems like Google is not penalizing me). Well, one day when my earnings were more than US$80 already, I got an email from them saying they're deleting my account, which is perfectly fine for me because I know I'm guilty. At least now I've verified that Google really protects the interest of their advertisers...which is why I am back to being an advertiser again! More details after I put up my business blog again, and this time I will be presenting my true self...not a guru of some sort which I am not.
Oh yeah, I am also so super happy that I found this Filipino guy named Paowiee in one of the forums I'm in...and he's also into internet marketing. He's a senior student in Ateneo de Manila, and even as a newbie (we started at about the same time, sometime in May last summer), he already earned some legitimate money already (unlike me). He is a voracious learner and he is all over internet forums to learn about stuff. His blog is www.myextrastash.com, and when I read his posts, I feel like "Hey I am like that too!!!".
One problem with me is that I find it very hard to get things through to the finish. It's like having a goal of chopping down a big tree in 1 hour. Paowiee spent the first 45 minutes sharpening this one axe that he will be using, while I spent the same amount of time eenie-minie-miney-moeing which axe to use, and I didn't even have enough time to sharpen it...much less chop the tree with it.
Anyway, I know I have a lot of screw-ups...but every morning marks another day to make things right again.
0 Comment(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home