Where is she?

The musical notes emanating from my neighbor's radio once again fills my room with the sadness it unintentionally brings. I do not need sad old slow songs right now, not when I am contemplating where I have lost my old self and my drive to succeed in my studies. I have been brushing my problem aside, giving myself more time, prepping myself to get motivated to pick up my books and start doing what a student - and a scholar at that - ought to be doing.

I tried, you know. I went to the library a while ago to borrow three books on hydrology and tried reading my notes there. I think those two hours were more fruitful than all the other hours of this day combined.

It is during times such as this that I miss my old highschool life the most. Those were the years that I felt all my hard work were justified. Sure it was tough, I was a lump of dark coal when I entered, and yet I emerged a diamond - shining, shimmering, splendid.

Now is another learning process. I entered university almost 4 years ago and the pressure has been a thousand times greater that it was in highschool. But until now I still feel like a dark lump of coal. Or, if you want a more optimistic tone, maybe I am already becoming a diamond alright..but the most lackluster one in the cohort.

Sometimes people do get tired.

I am.

Bring me back the old Korinna I knew. The one brimming with excellence in everything she does.