he popped this question: " do you love me? "
silence. doe-eyed look of uncertainty.
he prodded many times more, until i finally uttered " i don't know. "
not exactly the answer he was looking for. if i were in his place i'd be terribly hurt. but what can i do? i cannot tell him yes if i don't really mean it with all my heart. i am such a horrible girlfriend yeah? but i answered him in the most honest manner i could think of. i really don't know if what i have for him is love. maybe to some extent it is, but probably not the way he loves me. yes, in this relationship, he loves me more for sure.
i didn't answer him 'no', because he does matter to me. i wouldn't really stick around him if i didn't really care about him. i make time for him and treat him with higher priority among other things. but i also didn't answer 'yes' because i do not feel that i love him enough to die for him, have kids with him, or even plan a future with him. i do not think that we are made for each other, because we do not have the same goals in life. i know that he too will be gone someday, and so i don't want to heavily invest emotionally.
i used to strive to be the best girlfriend ever. but then i got my heart broken, and until now i haven't gotten around being at least a 'good' one. pfft.
silence. doe-eyed look of uncertainty.
he prodded many times more, until i finally uttered " i don't know. "
not exactly the answer he was looking for. if i were in his place i'd be terribly hurt. but what can i do? i cannot tell him yes if i don't really mean it with all my heart. i am such a horrible girlfriend yeah? but i answered him in the most honest manner i could think of. i really don't know if what i have for him is love. maybe to some extent it is, but probably not the way he loves me. yes, in this relationship, he loves me more for sure.
i didn't answer him 'no', because he does matter to me. i wouldn't really stick around him if i didn't really care about him. i make time for him and treat him with higher priority among other things. but i also didn't answer 'yes' because i do not feel that i love him enough to die for him, have kids with him, or even plan a future with him. i do not think that we are made for each other, because we do not have the same goals in life. i know that he too will be gone someday, and so i don't want to heavily invest emotionally.
i used to strive to be the best girlfriend ever. but then i got my heart broken, and until now i haven't gotten around being at least a 'good' one. pfft.
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