Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
aLaiSm
bOnaTs
cAsPeR
cHiN
dAvE
eVa
iVy
jAsHep
jEuNesse
KennY
maYbeLine
miSsY
m!ke
PiNkIsTa
StYx
wAyne
WendY
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Tuesday, November 30, 2004

my first semester as an official NUS undergrad...

i was demoralized and disheartened,

dared until demented,

tortured beyond tolerance...

i had been to the edge and back

and still in one piece...

~aLL gLoRy AnD HonOr And PrAisE To My GoD aLonE

wHo SusTAiNed Me and NevEr LeFt me No MatTer What.~

WoooooHoooooo!!!! the sem is finally over!!!!


Monday, November 29, 2004

i want to blog!!

but this one's gonna be short.

praise day was super fun.

kuya kris plays the drums well.

haha i really like our dance steps..kudos to missy!!!=)

chin!!! haha nothing. i envy you so much.

ferron, styx, and jayson, thanks for coming=)

i am gonna miss my WIN youth buddies. i'm not gonna see them again til next year.

chemistry is waiting for me!!!

ciao!








God actually helped me during my electrical engineering exam. thank you thank you thank you...



quotable quotes from my study buddy:

* hey what's that? (pointing to the bobby pin with purple flower detail sticking out of my hair).
wow you managed to make yourself look uglier. (and i thought the purple flower was cute).

*don't cry. you're a big girl now. ( yep i cried while he was explaining electrical engineering stuff. i was so tired and i couldn't understand a thing. and for the record, i was incessantly dubbed as "little girl" because i was "immature" and "only 18".)

and oh yeah, he offered me some sweets from his homeland, mauritius. he insisted they weren't cookies. yeah, they seemed like flat stones made from flour with only a morsel of sugar added to taste. i was mocking the "sweets" which turned out to be prepared by his mother. oops haha.

then there was his usual hooting of " fi- li- pi- nos..lousy"...

and i retorted that the cookies were lousy.

"so why are you still eating it?"

"because lousy people eat lousy food, right?"

*laughter* "haha good one."


Saturday, November 27, 2004

it's that time of the month.

i'm feeling all queasy and puffy.

3 zits just popped up. one is obstructing my peripheral vision. blame it on the hormones.

i'm so tempted to sleep early so as not to aggravate these not-so-tiny red blotches... but my exams are far more important than the present condition of my face.





Friday, November 26, 2004

very interesting yet disturbing at the same time.

today's YOU BLOG ADDICT.

http://hypernoia.blogspot.com/

arrrgh. i'm supposed to be studying.

ciao.



i never thought i'll ever be so engrossed in a radio drama of some sort. right now i'm listening to hisradio.com, and it just concluded the special thanksgiving presentation "The Legend of Squanto". i liked it a lot.. i googled it up, and here's what i got. eto lang kasi i still have a bus to catch.

The Legend of Squanto

In history books, Tisquantum earns a brief mention as the Native American who taught the Pilgrims to fish and farm. Many credit him with America's very first Thanksgiving. But few people know of the tragic events that saw him carried in chains to foreign lands ... or what he found when his long exile finally ended.

From the slave auctions in Spain to the luxurious splendor of an English manor house, Squanto endured great cruelty — yet discovered remarkable kindness — at the hands of the white men.

He had been forcibly taken by the white men who thought he was no better than a dumbstruck savage and prized for his brute strength. When at last he had earned the right to go home, it was a much different journey. As he willingly boarded their ship westward in 1619, he brought the one thing these Englishmen didn't possess: a voice that could bring understanding between Native Americans and those who wished to conquer them.

As he faced the salty winds, his mind raced to the reunion ahead and the certain welcome he would receive as a brave warrior who had seen more in a few years than most would in a lifetime.

At the first signs of familiar land his heart pounded ... but where was the smoke from the village fires? Why was a cold silence the only sound to greet him?

The Legend of Squanto is more than a story about an honest man who triumphed over tragedy. It is also a tribute to forgiveness, integrity and the ability to look beyond the color of a man's skin.


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

i am grateful for having ibiang and jashep capirig.

naks.

haha. of all my batchmates, etong dalawa pang strangers (dati) nakasama ko d2. haha.

pag nanjan si joseph, may 99.9% probability na ako ay tatawa. hahaha ako ay tumatawa habang sinusulat to.

at si ivy, ang taong akala ko dati eh hindi ko maka jibe..turned out to a blessing. haha.

when i think of both of them, i remember mr. sunny kang.

and when i think of mr. sunny, i remember goat farm.

ok back to laplace transforms.


Monday, November 22, 2004

YOU JOSEPH HA! UNCLE SUNNY PALA , HA?! sabi ko na nga ba eh, basta 'bridging + good news (para sa kin)', isa lang ang ibig sabihin!!!!

hahahahahahhahahahhaahahhaahahahahhaahaha=)

pero ok na yung uncle sunny antic mo para dobleng saya hehe=)

AHEM, AHEM.. i got this from my old nus email acct...from... guess who? =) :


Hi all,

Just dropping by to wish u all the best of luck for your exams.^_^

Feel free to msg or email me if i can be of help OR if u are going (*AKO LANG NAG CENSOR NITO HAHA*) or shopping^_^

Takecare.

^____^


syempre, dahil mabait ako na student, dapat magreply diba.. cheerios! i have to mug now!!!



JOKE TIME:

haha this is funny for those who could actually understand bisaya:


Maestra:Class, our lesson for today is Tagalog. Juan, use "ng" in a sentence. Gamitin ang salitang "ng" sa wastong pangungusap.

Juan: Maayong gabii, Nang.



got this from where else, friendster.

r u willing to take a bullet for Christ?

Imagine this happening to you... One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are." Immediately, the choir fled... the deacons fled... and most of the congregation fled.... Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20. The man who had spoken took off his hood... He then looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites... Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.

i've already thought about this before. when i was a kid someone also told me a similar story. so how? my answer would be.. "yes".

i love God. right now, i love God more than anything else. i've come to the point whereby i searched myself. what if God takes away the things that matter to me most, will i still love Him? what if God takes away this scholarship and send me back home, will i swear Him off and hate Him? and worse, what if God takes away my family? that would probably be the most painful of all.

after getting my midterm test results, i became very anxious that this scholarship might be stripped off of me. then i contemplated on what i would do afterwards. surely i cannot face my mother and father back home. i cannot bear to be in the midst of my former classmates who used to look up to me. what will they think of me upon knowing that i have been sent back and my scholarship withdrawn? then i thought of stowing away on board some ship in harbourfront. i will detest God and live like a gypsy. maybe be a slut and hook up with rich men so i will survive.

ewww. just the mere thought makes me shudder.

but i realized if i do that, then that would mean that i had loved God for a very shallow reason. just because he blessed me. my anchor was just this scholarship?

it shouldn't be that way. i have been reading the book of Daniel, and there is this part wherein Daniel's three friends would be thrown in the fiery furnace because they would not bow down to the image of gold King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. when the king questioned them, they replied that the God they serve is able to rescue them from the furnace, BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, they will still not worship any other god. and then i thought, whoa, what's up with these people? but i want to be just like them.

to conclude the sermon several sundays ago, pastor butch had displayed this on the last slide on the screen:

" God, even if you never answer another prayer while i live on this earth, i will still worship you as long as i live in the ages to come for what you have already done."

and then i thought once again, NEVER ANSWER ANOTHER PRAYER? hmmmm...

whoever spoke those words must love God very much. i hope one day, i could also speak those words in all honesty.

i know i have made stupid mistakes in the past, which i won't elaborate anymore because my mother might be reading this haha..but i acknowledge that i am still a work in progress. i want to be like Christ. i want people to see Chrsit in me. but of course i am only human..but isn't that just my perennial excuse whenever my selfish and evil self resurfaces? that's why i would like people around me to rebuke me whenever i am being un-Christlike. i wouldn't want to be called a hypocrite.


Saturday, November 20, 2004

niel's sister is pretty.



GOD,

THANK YOU


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Lord,

sana palabas pa rin ang Bcuz of U sa pinas pagbalik ko. gs2 ko mapanood sa sine. hehehe=)

Amen.


Monday, November 15, 2004
toinks!

hahaha. ok. finally i'm free..from what?

the bitterness i once had in my heart. haha.

ok, so wayne is transferring church..and for some time i also felt lost.

and mad. for treating us like ..erm, underwear?

i got angry because i can't understand how it seems to be very easy for him to throw away whatever it is that i thought we had.

and it seems that he is living by the maxim "we will be friends until the next friends come along.."

but anyway, i knew i couldn't do anything about it. so i just took it as it is..and pretended that it's ok even though it's not.

BUT now, after having read the new batch of emails..

well, this time, i genuinely wish him all the best in life. this time, i am genuinely glad for him. and yeah, just like what ate cla said, who am i to challenge God's plan for him..

anyway, just..take care.


Sunday, November 14, 2004

my heart overflows.

words fail me.

I am nothing apart from God.

But I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength.



still deliberating my response to an email:

1. you chicken, saying goodbye thru email? and, just like that? like no bond was ever forged between us?

2. just like what he said, no matter what happens, we are still here. it's sad though, coz u won't be around anymore. but anyway, it seems that you are overjoyed to be where you are now..so i guess it's ok. just remember that we go to church not to satisfy ourselves, but to bless our Lord. it's not about you, it's about Him. we are (and certainly i am ) going to miss you. God bless.

i choose #2.



...You are my Shield, my Strength
My Portion, Deliverer
My Shelter, Strong Tower
My very present help in time of need...

=)


Saturday, November 13, 2004

it really bothers me.

sana kausapin mo na uli ako.

please.



whoa! i'm actually done with my physics online tutorial already..so fast! it's a feat! ..considering that i usually take forever to complete it. there was even this one time (at band camp. hehe jowk) that i missed the deadline by a second. but not this time..deadline is still on monday! i learned my lesson already!

it's that cofffffffeeeee! that heaven-sent coffee..thank God for the coffeeeeeeeee!

but my head is already about to split into two.

gudnyt, er morning, my lovely planet.

thank you God for everything.



wayne,

jason (ur dear roommate) = wang dexin??

because i was reading wang dexin's post in the physcis forum and it seems like he's very happy!!! then i remembered the note ur roommate had scribbled for you!! with lots of like this!!!!!!!!

whoa!! i'm still awake!!!!



aba, at natuwa naman ako naghahanap ng update si wayne dell.

i've tried to abstain from blogging because i'm supposed to be studying. but taking a break won't hurt right..it's already 3 am anyway..and i've just finished my math webcast lectures marathon. after dousing my brain unto the pool of differential equations and laplace transforms, i'm pleasantly surprised to feel refreshed. haha that's because i feel proud once again attacking the monstrosity concealed in the module code MA1505 head on. as expected, i didn't understand everything right away, but at least i had achieved something for today.

in the webcast lecture, the lecturer (Brett McInnes, who is not MY lecturer since i belong to group D), told an anecdote about a girl and her help sheet for the finals. her handwriting was so small that she had to bring a magnifying glass during the exam to be able to read what she had written on it. haha..

anyway.. that reminded me of how much i take pride in my handwriting. yep yep..that's why i like modules that allow help sheets during tests. aside from the obvious reason that they provide "help", it's also a joy preparing some of the best-looking help sheets among all others. hahahaha.=) ok ok..just allow me to flatter myself once in a while. but really..haha i remember last semester, during the math finals, an invigilator approached me and almost confiscated my help sheet because he thought i typed it and just printed it out (which is not allowed, by the way). and i almost freaked out..but of course when he looked at it more closely, it became more apparent that it's just handwritten..and i proceeded finishing the exam smiling, and it's not because i was confident with my answers.

and oh yeah, i already have so much plans for the coming holidays. i have a personal project...to satiate the delusion i once had not too long ago. now let's not get too giddy about it since the finals are still lurking just around the corner.


Thursday, November 11, 2004

what my lecturer said about the CS1101c Practical Exam aftermath...

"...If you submitted something, forget about the PE and concentrate on the final exams. We must learn to live and let go. Remember: it's alright if everyone dies together: just make sure you don't die alone."





Wednesday, November 10, 2004

i remember my friend telling me to list down 10 things that I am grateful for when i'm feeling down.

TOP 10 THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR:

i have an awesome God.

i have a loving family.

i have TRUE friends. (never mind if they can still be counted with my fingers).

i study in a top university (18th in the WORLD ranking).

and i'm being paid to study.( how coooool is that?)

i have a nice room.

i have a cool laptop. (among all the material things i possess, i love my mac the most. er, ok, together with tons of stuff with sentimental value.)

i could afford to eat when i'm hungry. or even when i'm just craving for something.

i have nice clothes to wear.

i have braces. (i've been dying to have braces since i was 7).



yey! that made me feel better. because i while ago i felt utterly horrible due to the programming practical exam i just had wherein i performed so badly. and the mediocre grade i got from chem test.

but i hold on to this promise.

"For we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." --Rom. 8:28





it's almost 3 am, got 8 am lecture tomorrow (very last one for chem so i musn't skip), and i'm literally seeing red..or orange.

cs practical exam tomorrow too. (gulp).

quite scary for me but it's ok..i just want to get it done and over with.

yes God, for the nth time, i'm going to need your Divine Intervention.


Tuesday, November 09, 2004

oh Lord thank you so much! haha i scored higher than expected in my electrical engineering test 2! even better than my first test rin! most of my classmates got better marks, though. but never mind...haha the night before the test, i thought i was really hopeless because i couldn't understand a thing about frequency response..ok, i couldn't understand a thing about almost everything. i knew i really couldn't do it on my own so i sought help from..who else..sundeep. haha. so i intruded his peaceful mugging and bugged him even with the basics. actually both of us were lost but as they say, two heads are better than one. haha. yey! he also fared better than me in the test and i'm happy for him. urrrgh..i hope the EE test results would make him feel better after the horrible, horrible day he had yesterday. i'd freak out too if it happened to me...






i miss mama's home-cooked meals.

i miss papa's jokes.

i miss dimple's " ay papa jericho!".

i miss paolo's lame jokes. oops..haha. nah, magkawavelength kami when it comes to stuff. i miss paolo. the best brother in the whole world.

i miss yc's being "murag korek". ang baby ng pamilya na matanda na kung umasta. haha.



Monday, November 08, 2004

God,

H.

E.

L.

P.

me.

i'm scared.



huwaaat is this..

im here in KR computer room ryt now. i checked my blog. lo and behold, it's different from what i have been seeing using my own laptop. i didn't know that there's also another picture INSIDE the box. hmm, it's actually quite nice, but the words are so faint that i myself am having difficulty reading my own posts. with my mac (and with internet explorer or safari), inside the box are just plain words so they're easier to read.

hmm..how to improve...later na.



yey happy day once again:) even though i got lost for the nth time and wasted bus fare, LRT fare (my first time!), and mrt fare..looong story and still got muggin to do.

and i thought i lost my passport!

happy day..happy day..

na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na-na

it's all about you..

Jesus.=)



ivy astig! wooo hooo! :)


Saturday, November 06, 2004

hey happy day, happy day. obvious ba, finlood ko ang aking blog. hehe=) oh my i'm afraid because i'm happy. i mean, why am i happy? wooo...

haha because today i just chose to be. just like what maam fundador said, happiness is a choice. hmm. tapos a while ago, wayne explained that he's not actually concerned about where i'll be having lunch. hehe was telling me stuff but i didn't hear them because my mind was already clouded with thoughts na "ay napahiya ako"..my default reaction would have been to be pissed once again, ignore him, ta pau my dinner, and leave them because i wouldn't be in the mood to chit chat. hehe pero i learned i could actually choose to react in other ways so as not to spoil my mood. well, ok, ta pau pa rin dinner ko actually kasi nagpabili rin si joseph..then i left earlier kasi wala nang upuan si ate joline, and since naka pack na rin food ko pwede na kong umalis. at ok na rin yun so joseph's food wouldn't get cold and soggy. at excited rin coz i have a little something for ivy..na hulog ng langit (kasi bigay ni jodi)..and so i would have an excuse to watch csi hehehe..kasi kumakain.

haha and i also saw sundeep sa mcdo. natatawa ako pag nakikita ko sya. and he should have seen his own face when he just finished ordering and was looking around for his friends..na actually ay umupo sa labas at di nya nakita agad. he looked like a lost boy at konti na lang iiyak na. wehehe and he calls joseph little boy and me little girl because we're only 18 daw. kala mo naman gano sya katanda eh 19 lang sya.

hehe..anyway..got loads of stuff to do. babu!=)



i like horatio of csi miami. maybe because everybody else i know doesn't. hehe=) ah csi. i love csi.=)



the view right outside my room struck me. in stark contrast to the gloomy weather we've had in the past few days (read: thunder, lightning, wind, rain) which would always prompt me to pull the blinds and shield my view of the outside world, today's weather is really fine. and my..the world looks great. i would never do justice to this picturesque scenery i am seeing right now by explicitly putting it in words. i am still not adept in doing that, as much as i would like to. but i'll try anyway.

see, the sun beams at the a*star building and gives it just the right lighting to showcase its grandeur as it sits on top of the hilly terrain. The leaves on top of the trees on the foreground are bathed in gold, yet in deep, dark green where the shadows have fallen. The trees are doing a slow dance with the wind, with the chirping of birds as the background music. and how could i forget to mention the clear, azure backdrop?

God is amazing.



IT-savvy wayne discovered my supposedly secret blog. i thought i was being careful. apparently, not careful enough. it has only one entry anyway. i made it when i was um, feeling lonely. i had to let it out, yet couldn't bear the thought of people reading about my hapless whining. and i wonder if that's the reason why he's suddenly 'concerned (?)' when the clock strikes 12 at noon? or maybe i'm wrong. anyway, i really appreciate it.



someone told me "i was just checking your IQ. turns out to be zero."

haha. typically sundeep.

anyway, i had an interesting dialogue with him over lunch. one of the topics was why i am going home this december. i told him Christmas is important for me and my family. he told me," yeah, for me too, because of the gifts"..or something like that. then i kept quiet and pondered for a while on how i should respond. clearly, we have different beliefs. after a five-second deliberation, i asked him "but Christmas is much more than gifts right?". To which he replied "Yeah, maybe for you..something about religious stuff..".

And a door was opened. The perfect opportunity to evangelize..something i have never done before. But a part of me was apprehensive of telling him about my faith. what if he gets offended? he might feel that i am not respecting his own beliefs. another thing is that i am not exactly the best example of a Christian. i must practice what i preach right? which is quite hard to do. i'm afraid i might give him distorted images of how a Christian should live. but this tiny little voice persists that i just try..and i willingly obliged.

so during the bus ride on the way home (yes, i call KR my home. here.), i asked him "hey, do you believe in God?"

he fumbles for words. "oh..that is one question i cannot answer.." and after a few moments, "yeah, maybe i do,sometimes.but the problem is, i do not pray. my mother even gave me two religious booklets which i haven't read yet.""

"oh..so what do you do when you have problems? who do you run to? or you just endure it all by yourself?"

"ok, maybe i pray. when i have problems. hey, you pray EVERYDAY?"

"yeah..i talk to God just like the way i talk to a normal person."

"oh really? what do you tell him?"

"well..everything. about what's going on. or asking for help.."

"are all Filipinos like that? because i also see ivy's msn nick which is always about God..like i won't be afraid of anything because i have my God.."

"um..sort of..because the Spaniards conquered the Philippines, right?..and they brought Christianity to us." (ok, that is what i remember from Soc Sci in high school..should be correct right? haha)

anyway, at this point, we already reached our bus stop and alighted from the bus. i didn't immediately bombard him with the tenets of Christianity..but i hoped i got him curious about my faith. and may the thought of God's existence linger a little longer in his mind.




today, i had my very last lab this semester. electrical engineering lab. my favorite. no sarcasm here, really. everytime i go for EE lab, i would always feel nervous upon entering the room and become alienated by the strange devices that i would be using, most of them i have never seen before in my 18 years of expending oxygen in this lovely planet. however, i go out of the lab always feeling smarter and surprised that i have actually accomplished all those technical procedures in the laboratory manual. and i would always tell myself, "hey, not bad after all". yes, not bad, considering i would have to rack my brain the night, or even days, before the lab to understand what exactly has to be done. and i think today, i did well. yey! of course, i couldn't have done it without the help of my wacky classmate sundeep and the more matured prakash. and i also think the best lab TA (or whatever you call them) is the caucasian guy in the our EE lab because of his patience and willingness to help the students.

and oh, i forgot to mention that during the lab experiment itself, i would always play make believe..like i'm already a full-fledged engineer and i'm doing this very technical stuff that idiots can never fathom..and i glance around...and realize that i'm one of the only two representatives of the female species in the room.. haha..makes me beam. that even though i'm an ehem, idiot myself, INITIALLY, i am there to learn and increase my knowledge on what is typically 'for the boys'. but yes, i must admit that i believe the male brain is more capable of understanding electrical engineering stuff. however, i must not fail to mention that there are also things that the male brain couldn't fully grasp. just like..haha never mind.






i admire rex's wit in replying to email forwards. he is able to express his scintillating viewpoints well, and would really voice them out even regarding sensitive topics. even if we don't see eye-to-eye on some matters initially, i would always be inclined to change sides, or consider his point at the least, after i read about his opinion. i wish i could be like him and be able to influence others as well.


Friday, November 05, 2004

...Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly...


Thursday, November 04, 2004

i'd like to bang my head on the wall. see, new template.

boogsh!

and cadbury (that sinful milk chocolate with hazelnuts), my muggin buddy, is making me fat.



tama. =)


ho hum..

as if having a gazillion crushes would drown what i still feel for him.


Tuesday, November 02, 2004
...

i've created a monster. her name is korinna. oops..sounds familiar.

i've succeeded in making myself truly detestable. i was bored with the monotony of having harmonious relationships with the people around me. had i known beforhand that the rollercoaster of emotions due to petty, petty fights would be one hell of a ride, then i wouldv'e stuck to being bored. at least i wouldn't be alone. unlike right now.

just now i ignored sundeep. it's his usual nasty comments that ticked me off. he is actually my buddy in tutorial classes and though we are both struggling in our studies, he's kind enough to share what he knows and understands about the lessons. i like his company because we could laugh at almost anything...even at ourselves. anyway, i know he's just joking around but sometimes he hits me way below the belt. saying that i come from the lousiest block in the hall is ok.. i mean, duh.. i could throw him a thousand rebuttals and we would laugh once again. but sometimes he makes fun of the Philippines..and i'm glad i'm seeing red when he does that, which goes to show that i still feel for my lamentable country. but i also get mad because i don't have anything to say that's witty enough to defend my country. his jokes about the philippines are not funny..but they are true.

but his jokes were not the reason why i walked out. ewan nakakapagod na mag blog.

but actually i'm not mad at him right now. i'm even sorry that i didn't accept his invitation for lunch. e umalis na ako nakakahiya namang bumalik. i just wanted to make a point, that i also have a threshold for unpropitious remarks, so he better be more sensitive the next time.

haaaaaaay. lahat na lang inaaway ko. hindi lang si sundeep. kudos to anyone who truly knows me AND still wants me.