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Thursday, December 22, 2005
Bukidnon

My whole family's going to Bukidnon tomorrow to visit some relatives! First time we went there was ten years ago, when my youngest sister was only two weeks old. The journey took ten long hours going there, and ten hours back. But I heard that now, the ride would only take five and a half hours, thanks to better roads and highways. We'd be back home by Christmas Eve.

I love my family! We're doing almost everything together this holiday season. Our house has become a lot noisier and messier, but that's okay! Tis the most festive season and I'm glad I'm spending it with the people I love the most.

P.S.

I regret some things I've written here before. I hope I don't miss Christmas, if you know what I mean.


Grades

I almost had a heart attack at SM Davao yesterday. I thought the examination results had already come out. I rushed to Netopia, where my brother was playing LAN games, and asked him if I could use the computer for a while so I could check my grades. He graciously obliged. Oops, false alarm.

Today's the scheduled release of my exam results. I was reading Deception Point by Dan Brown when I remembered. Time check: already past 3pm! The results are out! My pulse quickened and I felt my insides do a somersault. I couldn't breathe!

So anyway, I fell short of my target. BUT...my results are still better than if I didn't dream of rising from that crap hole of indecent grades I got from the previous semesters.

I know I worked hard this semester, and I thank God for helping me. I still have grades in the range of C: C+ for both Computer-Aided Engineering and Structural Analysis I. I cannot deny my disappointment regarding this. I actually enjoyed CAE. No, let me take that back. I only enjoyed the first part of CAE, which was AutoCAD, taught by Dr. Chew. The second part was GIS, taught by the professor who should be thrown out of NUS, according to one of my classmates. As for Structural...hahaha. Very Funny. Structural Analysis is like one of the pillars of Civil Engineering, and it's one of my worst subjects.

Another disappointment is my grade for Infrastructure and the Environment. I got full marks - perfect - for both my midterms (Hallelujah!!!), so it kind of gave me high hopes for this module. But still I got a measly B, without the plus sign. I think my group did well for the project, and Siaw Ling even claimed it as our 'masterpiece'. I guess the final exam had caught me off guard. The exam hall had been more like a gigantic fridge, but beads of cold sweat still trickled down my spine because I hadn't adequately prepared for my last exam. I studied only the night before the final exam, which, as all uni students should know, won't ever work if you're aiming to get an A or better.

The rest are pleasant surprises. I got B- for the subject I thought would be my worst - Hydraulics. It's one of the most challenging subjects I've ever had. I couldn't comprehend how the founders of the study of Hydraulics came up with their theories. I can't imagine how their brains are wired. I only got 40/100 in our midterms, so I thought I'm screwed. (But then again, 40/100 is a far cry from 13/100 I got in one of my previous modules hahaha. See, when you've reached rock bottom, there's no other way to go but up.)

The most unexpected grade I got is A- for Engineering and Uncertainty Analysis. Remember the Level 2000 maths I was nervous about at the start of the sem? At first I was really, really lost because the numbers and new techniques intimidated me big time. I thought Oh no, it's happening all over again. My previous maths grades haunted me. But later I decided that I've had enough of getting scared, so I asked assistance from God to attack this module head on. So there, yahoo!

For this coming semester, I'm again taking my studies to the next level. I may not have reached my target grades, but it's okay. At least I tried. At least I got up from previous mistakes and continued to charge forward. Even if what I got in return wasn't exactly what I dreamed of, I gave my best and that's what really matters.


Home

We're back! Thank you God for keeping my family safe throughout the ride home.


Monday, December 19, 2005
Davao

I'm going to Davao in less than an hour. Wee! Tis my second time to go to Davao this holiday season - first time was the day I landed in Gensan, then Mama and I drove off to Davao for something. We went back home here in Gensan that night itself. This time, I'm staying til the 21st I think. I'm finally going to see Cyril and hopefully many of my high school friends. I'm going to fetch Dimple tomorrow from the airport. Paolo's going to be back today from Compostella Valley, where the contest he participated in was held. Then when we all get back home, my family's going to be reunited!

Ok time for breakfast.


Friday, December 16, 2005
I Will Sing

I can't bring myself to read the Bible nowadays. And it's sad.

Funny when everything's so difficult, I tend to make all sorts of promises to God and I strive to remain untainted, pure. But now that I'm worry-free and I'm again in my comfort zone, it's like "Ok God, you do your business and I do mine."

Sometimes reading my archives puts me to shame. Sometimes in wide-eye wonder I ask, who is this vain, arrogant whiner who has taken over my blog - and my life?

I am hungry and I have nothing more to say for now. I'll end this post with the first part of Don Moen's song I Will Sing, though some parts are not really relevant to me at this time.

Lord You seem so far away. A million miles or more it feels today.
And though I haven't lost my faith, I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray.
But I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start.
But as you give the grace with all that's in my heart.

I will sing.
I will praise even in my darkest time through the sorrow and the pain.
I will sing. I will praise.
Lift my hands to honor You because Your word is true. I will sing.


Thursday, December 15, 2005
isyu

Tonight I asked myself a question I surprisingly couldn't answer.

Why would I want to get rich?

To help the poor? Classic beauty queen answer in resonance with their 'world peace' riposte to almost every question...but no. I have nothing against it, and I even laud philanthropists, but that will not the be my primary reason if ever I will strive to get rich. At this moment, I could not honestly say that I would work my ass off to get rich just so I could help the poor.

To have everything I want? But material 'wants' are insatiable. That's human nature. Just take cellular phones, for example. I clearly remember telling myself that if I could just have a Nokia 3310 (back when I still had a Nokia 5110), I'd already be happy and contented for the rest of my life. Eventually I had - and still have- something even better than N3310, but still it couldn't take photos without an external camera attachment, it doesn't have a built-in radio, it doesn't have this and it doesn't have that. Accumulation of money -or toys- is positively correlated to the desire to have even more.

Actually, what prompted this soul-searching is this guy's financial blog. It really inspired me and made me want to be graced with even just an ounce of his entrepreneurial intellect and aggressiveness. After devouring his blog in one sitting, I took out our copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad and re-read the chapters I deem most important. It motivated me even more to learn from these virtuosos so I can rake in the green stuff ASAP.

But then again, I need to have a valid reason to fall back on before I make that first step, so that if I fail on the first and any other consecutive attempts, it won't be so hard to pick myself up from where I've left off.

This post has not adequately expressed the misgivings of the deepest recesses of my being right now, because there is just so much my brain can translate. This is my way of admitting that I am not a great writer. I'm no good, but so what? Tomorrow I'm going to wear a mini skirt at my mother's office's Christmas Party, and I will look hot.

Connection, please?

Upon reviewing this post, I realized I sounded like a bimbotic airhead. But I'm not going to take this post down because I want to humor myself say, 10-20 years down the road...if this blog won't cease to exist, that is.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Jaded

Right now I'm watching (or not) Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I can't wait for my sister to come home. I can't wait for Christmas to come so my family would be complete again. My father works in Davao so we're only complete during weekends and public holidays. This is the primary reason why I came home - to be with my family.

Right now I have all the time in the world. The clock's been ticking a bit slower in this part of the globe. More often than not I get uber bored. Really, I have nothing to do.

Ok I know I have to work on the deliverables for our Virtual Island project for next sem. The first week of classes next year we'd have to face Dr. Chew and Adrian for our bogus meeting with the Prime Minister. Dr. Chew had been very adamant in informing us to act like professionals, and we cannot use any other visual aids apart from our engineering firm website. So we should stuff our website with all the details needed to persuade the Prime Minister to hand us the island development project. But see, I am here in the Philippines, Sundeep and Rotana are in Singapore, Edina is going back to Indonesia, and Siaw Ling is currently in Malaysia and will be flying off to Korea for the holidays. How to work mah? But as Siaw Ling said: "Maybe we can rush our work when we get back?!" Haha. I know Rotana's already working hard for our project right now, and Siaw Ling will have done a lot of things before she goes with her family to Korea. So as for me, I should do the same.

But I am too lazy.

Ok, let's try again.

So as for me, I should do the same.

And I will.

That's better.

Apart from the virtual island project, I remember my mother telling me to decorate our own bathroom. The restroom in her office has a heavenly motif this week, thanks to her staff. But til now I still haven't done anything to our bathroom because, erm...I'm too lazy again.

I'm such a walking contradiction. I complain I have nothing to do, but the thing is, I'm just too lazy. I'm so bored at home, but I don't want to go out because not even halfway through my destination I'd smell like soot and smoke already for taking the public transpo. And worse, I don't have anyone to go out with.

Hermmmm, must have a change of attitude to enjoy my vacation.

P.S.

Hehe, Arthur's right. Again.

Sundeep is going to Malaysia with his friends this weekend. We were supposed to go there before I come home, but I was broke that time. So there. Hehe. I hope they have loads of fun. And loads of pasalubong for me. Hehe.


Sunday, December 11, 2005
p.s.

The harsh realization had finally sunk in. I am bad at birthdays.

SO anyway...

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEUNESSE!!!


Milk Tea and Adulterated Tagalog

Today I tried making milk tea, had my sister taste my concoction, and ended up drinking all of it by my lonesome. My sister found it most revolting to mix hot tea with condensed milk. I also wasn't an instant fan, but after yielding to Joseph's prodding (encouragement was more like it) of trying out the milk tea they serve in PGP non-AC canteen, it became my staple breakfast drink. That stocky stall auntie makes the best milk tea if you ask me.

So what else...nothing much. I'm just bumming around the house since I got back here. But I'm not really complaining. I don't mind being idle for a while, because I know once school starts I'd be pulled in all directions once again for four consecutive months non-stop. So I have to take advantage of this vacation! Hmm...but then again...no friends (yet, coz they still have classes til mid-December), no boyfriend, no part-time job at my mother's office...life gets a bit dreary. Nothing to do at all. I asked my mother whether she needs any kind of assistance in her office right now, and she said there's also nothing much going on, so I might just as well stay at home. Erm, and also after my shameless flirting with one of her office staff last vacation, how to show face mah? HAHA.

Nene is Pinoy Big Brother's Big Champion. But my favorite is UMA. No, CASS. Ok, both of them. They look good together!!! I like Cass because she's also from Mindanao, and I can empathize with her funny accent when she speaks Tagalog. Yeah I know I have an accent too, because Mindanao Tagalog to Manila Tagalog is like Singapore English to British English (or American English if you want). My friends who hail from Manila think I speak Bisaya at home, but no I don't. I do understand Bisaya but I speak 'adulterated' Tagalog.

EXAMPLE:
Mindanao Tagalog
Pepay: Uy si Nene biya nanalo sa Pinoy Big Brother!
Jhun-jhun: Bitaw napanood ko kagabi!
Kring: Atik? Galinga uy!

Manila Tagalog
Pepay: Uy si Nene ang nanalo sa Pinoy Big Brother!
Jhun-jhun: Oo nga napanood ko kagabi!
Kring: Di nga? Ang galing naman!

Haha there might be some inaccuracies but I tried translating to the best of my abilities.


Friday, December 09, 2005
Let's get physical

Sabi ng mga magulang ko nung nakita ang aking new hairdo:

Mama: Aba, ang kasosyalang hair na kulay corn husk..

Papa: Kaya anak, iwas-iwasan mo yung mga farmers ha, baka ikaw ang i-harvest nila.

-*-


Isang gabi habang nanonood ng Pinoy Big Brother:

Mama: Mainit ba sa Singapore?

Ako: Hindi, parang Pinas lang...ba't mo natanong?

Mama: Kasi parang umitim ka.

Ako: Ah kasi ngayon okay na sa kin na bumilad sa araw para maging magsing-kulay na kami ng boyfriend ko.

Mama: Hahahaha.


Thursday, December 08, 2005
Red Diaries

He wanted to know whether I still remember him or not. How could I forget the person I was dancing with the first (and so far the only) time I got close to being drunk? That time I was trying on the role of being an angst-ridden teen, or anything close to that; and maybe I was trying to act older and impress my econs tutor (cum biggest crush) who is about a decade my senior. Anyway, sometimes people do stupid things just for the experience. That night was the closest I got to being drunk and wild, and I found out there's really nothing much even if I've gone any further. I didn't really gain anything from it, and that one experience is enough to satiate the more adventurous side of me for the whole of my adolescent years. Now I just prefer a more laid-back kind of fun, like watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. with Sundeep guffawing beside me. And even as I'm living the sunset years of my teenage life, booze still does not taste good for me. It's still erm, bitter, just as I had tasted it the first time when I was five (I think my uncles wanted to make fun of me). Maybe a broken heart would awaken my clubbing spirits again, but I'm not really praying for anything like that right now.

So back to Wathanak. (Haha Joseph maremember mo pa sya?). So after exchanging some pleasantries, he asked when the two of us could go clubbing again, but I told him the idea won't sit too well with my boyfriend. Now I tell people outrightly that I am attached, instead of dilly-dallying to see whether the person would advance any further or not. Yes, in the past I wanted to flatter myself a lot...and erm, I guess until now in some other ways I'm still guilty as charged.

Let me digress now, because I want to share something else. When I was still a kid, we got invited to a party just around the neighborhood. There I saw a very sophisticated-looking lady: thick make-up, highlights, high heels - you get the picture. I was observing her in awe. Then, she asked the party hostess whether she could smoke within the premises, and the hostess obliged. So, she lit a cigarette and started smoking at a children's party. She smoked with such grace and finesse that I told myself I want to be exactly like her when I grow up! But thank God for the education on the cons of smoking that asphyxiated my interest in it.

Pinoy Big Brother's coming up soon..must watch. hee=p


Wednesday, December 07, 2005
whaddaya mean unsightly?

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Say goodbye to unsightly braces, now you may barely be able to see them. BioMers’ braces are translucent, therefore they are nearly invisible. Yet, they are strong enough to straighten teeth effectively...

Click here for the rest of the story.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Fly away butterfly

I have a confession to make. I am damn scared of butterflies. I discovered it just recently, while mugging one rainy night inside my room with my main window wide open. A medium-sized brown butterfly (not a moth, a butterfly - based on its wings), happily took refuge in the warmth of my brightly-lit room. I haplessly tried to shoo the poor creature away, but to my horror it even tried to act friendly and began darting towards me. I screamed a couple of times whenever it came within a half meter radius from me. It must have been a very funny sight, with me holding a broomstick and sparring with, of all creatures, a butterfly. Along with my efforts to keep the butterfly away from me and from my room was the thought about what old folks once told me - that butterflies, especially the brown ones, are not only butterflies but something else as well- visitors from the afterlife or whatever crap they might be.

But I felt terribly guilty when it got wounded. While trying to lead it out the door I turned on my ceiling fan, because I figured the moving air would act as resistance to ward the butterfly off the central part of my room. But the (may I call it stupid?) butterfly circled the fan, which whipped it off its course and damaged its wing. Anyway, I gave up shooing the butterfly away because I couldn't go near it. So, even though I didn't know anyone else in my floor (ok, so this is the part where I reveal I don't know even my neighbor's name), I went straight to the kitchen to see if there's anyone who could help me. I found this girl who's very fond of cooking, went up to her and asked:

"Are you scared of butterflies?"

Weird pick-up line, but I needed help pronto. She said no, then I explained my situation and she readily turned off the stove and marched with me towards my room. Then I let her take over the broomstick to have sparring with the creature. I tried to stifle my laughter while watching her do what I was doing just moments earlier. She asked whether she could just kill the butterfly because she's also having a hard time leading it out the door or window, but I said no. Else I would have done it myself long ago what. It is a butterfly, not a cockroach.

So anyway, the girl succeeded in leading it out of my room. But the second it flew out, I had to close the door right away to keep my room butterfly-free. Still, I had to open the door again a bit to thank the girl and to get her name. So yep, thanks a million Hong.

After this discovery I thought of changing my template, which is butterfly-themed. But then again, there's still my enginbutterfly blog address, which I'm not so keen on changing. So never mind.


S.O.S.

Pardon my ignorance, but how can I place a message in my own shoutbox? I'm not deliberately ignoring people, but I cannot post a message! What's with the 'Cookies deactivated?' warning? How come I can tag before, but now I cannot? I used to put the blame on my iBook, but I'm using a pc now. Ok, so how to activate cookies?

-*-

Ok so basically I answered my own question by cruising the information superhighway. Lemme try if it works..

-*-
Ok so it didn't work. I really want to go to bed now so never mind. I'd appreciate any help. Hehe goodnight!!!

P.S.

Yup Jashep nabasa ko na yun dati before pa nakapunta si Brice, pero nakaalis pa rin sya...hmm...so baka joke lang yun ng MFA and NUS. Haha..anyway thanks thanks:)

and PAGING CYRIL JAMES T. BUAL...natanggap mo ba mga text ko? punta ako davao dec 20 ata...para sunduin si dimple kasi jan sya magland...hopefully kita tayo okay!!!


Monday, December 05, 2005
nytz.

Beauty Contest Boo-boo

Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?

Miss Talipapa 2005: My edge is 28 years old! I TEYNK YUUUU!

-*-


I was really surprised when I went inside the female restroom in my mama's office to pee. It was covered in pink! It was so princess-ey! It had all the Disney princesses plastered on the wall, plus girly essentials like face powder, lotion, perfume, lipstick, foot scrub! - the works. It even had a kiddy pool inside! For a moment I thought, "Is this Disneyland or what?". Turns out mama initiated this weekly contest among her staff to decorate their restrooms. This week's winner would really deserve to win.

Actually I just went online to bug Ruchchan in msn to say goodnight. But since I'm already here, goodnight too, world.


Sunday, December 04, 2005
Ruchchan et al

My goodness I miss Ruchchan so much. Yep lately I've been calling Sundeep by his last name (and thus his nickname Rooch), and he has been calling me Gacal, my mother's maiden name. Haha. I haven't told my parents yet that we already got back together again, but I think they already know, or suspect. I'm very reluctant to tell them, after I've sent them my distress email a while back - saying a lot of stuff - and now it's as if I'm eating my words. But I could assure them that I followed my mother's advice. So there. I think they could see right through me anyway, so I won't have to say anything to them.

One time while mama and I were in the car and the radio was playing a love song, I racked my brain to think of just one love song that I could dedicate, or that would remind me of, Ruchchan. But I could think of nothing, zilch, na-ah. Haha. Songs that remind me of him are mostly upbeat songs, and that one foreign mellow song that turned out to be about children of Africa. Or I'll Be there For You, the theme song of the serial F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and the Romanian pop song with the Numa Numa lyrics of the movie Chicken Little. Oh okay, now I remember something...the song The Reason by Hoobastanks is very special. We once fought, and as he was saying sorry he played that song at humaba ang hair ko.

Starting tomorrow he'll be very busy with takraw trainings and all his hall stuff, plus module mapping for his exchange stint in France next year. I'm so happy for being able to chat with him just now. He likes to talk crap and tell jokes a lot, and our conversation a while ago was the usual. I'm already missing our all-nighter mugging sessions at the Bizad benches and our tapau-ed suppers from Sheares Hall. Anyhoo...hey his birthday falls on the first day of classes for the coming semester. Haha. Note to self: must prepare something special.

Mama is watching an old FPJ flick right now hehe. Ok she's now flipping through the other channels. OK OK GREAT NEWS: yahoo the Philippines is now officially the overall champion in the SEA Games. Galing ng Pinoy!

WHooops PINOY BIG BROTHER!!!!!! I HAVE TO WATCH!!!!!!


Ang Pagbibinata ni Paolo Espinosa

My brother just turned 15 today. Happy Birthday! Now he's back in Pisay, much to the glee of his fans. Lemme justify his status as being crush ng bayan:

Top Five Reasons:
1.) pogi (runs in the blood mwahahahahaha)
2.) excellent basketball player (he has his very own fans club cum cheering squad!)
3.) plays the guitar well
4.) very good in math (went to China for an international competition)
5.) writes very well (he's going for RSPC or NSPC, erm I'm not really familiar with these press conferences hehe..anyhoo..)

Even with all these, he still remains very humble and charming and does not let his popularity get to his head. Yehey! So yep, all the best in life my brother. Love you so much and God knows how proud I am of you.


Friday, December 02, 2005


I miss Ruchchan.


mmk

Makahilak man ta aning Maalaala Mo Kaya uy..

*wipes tears*

Krishamay just told me that today's World AIDS Day. Is it? Maalaala Mo Kaya is so depressing. It's about a woman who acquired AIDS through blood transfusion when she gave birth to her first child. Her first husband didn't get the disease, but he died out of sama ng loob. Then the woman remarried, and right now's the death scene of her second husband because he also got the disease from her. Argh yeah I know I'm doing a very lousy synopsis of the story - oversimplifying things and leaving out pertinent details. But now I shall stop talking about this because it is too depressing.

Oh my goodness Charo Santos just said the woman didn't have a chance to see her story on tv coz she already passed away just this year. Aiyoh.