picture, picture!

i visited missy's blog and i came across these pics.


missy always looks nice in photos but this is my favorite photo of her.=)


and this is my favorite photo of wayne, the one in the middle. haha! paminsan-minsan pwede rin naman pala syang maging charming haha! and on the upper left corner nakasingit pa si yours truly.


and how come i'm not in this photo??? kuya chris our drummerboy and my wacky, funkAy friend chin.

shit happens.

in expounding this cliche, just imagine a scenario wherein it's been raining for weeks and you are so in dire WANT to get out to play under the sun. but just when you thought all hope is gone, gray clouds begone and a glimmering ray of the much-awaited sun peeks through the heavens. and when you blithely look up to the clear blue sky to bask in its mere presence, a bird flies by and its shit lands right on your face.

no, i am not pissed. and blaming myself for deliberately giving up on the CN1111 test won't magically tranform all the rubbish i wrote on the test paper into decent solutions. for this one, i'll just laugh at myself and to all my other classmates who will be sharing the same fate as mine.

this midterm test is quite unusual, in that we were given the option to answer questions 1-3 and leave at 1pm, or answer questions 1-5 and leave at 1:30pm. my initial plan was to answer only 3 questions so i could still attend physics lecture at 1. but since i KNOW that i DO NOT KNOW how to solve questions 1 and 2, i resorted to answering questions 4 and 5 too. that means i am officially choosing option #2: answer all five questions and leave the exam hall at 1:30pm.

i left at 1pm. actually i told myself to stay, but by the smirk on my friends' faces who were already leaving...

what's the use of prolonging the agony?

at that moment i could almost hear my bed calling me, because for the past 24 hours or so, i only had a grand total of an hour's sleep. if you call that 'sleep'.

yes, i was wrong. i gave up so easily. i still could've used those precious thirty minutes to answer my midterms instead of blogging right now. so, shoot me.

i am just so illogical. i was so motivated to do good for this test, sacrificing precious sleep.

i am tired. see you in dreamland.

kit kat.

may joke si cyril. sa wakas nagparamdam na rin ang bata.

Teacher: Use 'puera' in a sentence
Pupil: Mi maestra es muy bonita
Teacher: How flatering iho, pero donde es 'puera'
Pupil: Puera gaba!


hahahahhaahahahhaha! wala lang. mga manila friends ko hindi cguro maka-relate...expression sya na i don't know how to translate.

ok back to mugging for physics midterms later!

sentosa adventure

sa sobrang tagal ng pagkuha ng pic, nalulunod na si wayne sa quicksand. pero tingnan nyo naman, todo pa rin ang smile. yan ang pinoy.




pero mukhang natuluyan na si wayne. nalungkot tuloy kami. michael, bawal mag smile. pigilan mo yan.




marahil masaya naman si wayne kung nasan man sya. halata ba?




nagulantang na lang kaming lahat nang may sumabog..




hindi mapigilang mapanganga ni robs! wayne is back!




kaya happy na uli ang lahat=) yey!

TRASHING THE INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.

you are doing such a lousy job. i might even end up hating you.

guilty as charged.

THIS IS SOOO NOT GOOD. i just woke up. that means, i wouldn't be able to go to church. i feel so rotten.

this is the first time i missed going to church here in singapore. and for a lame reason: i overslept because i partied last night.

so many things happened last night. no mama, i didn't sleep with anyone. i didn't smoke.

i drank some sprite with vodka for my 'free' drink. i don't think that they serve anything that doesn't have alcohol in it. and i danced of course.

at first i just grooved with ivy, joseph, sundeep, and a bunch of other hall people. but later rachelle, evelyn, ivy, and i got introduced to four guys also gyrating on the dance floor. my partner is named Qiyan.

He's a Singaporean, and he's quite nice. He didn't take advantage of me, unlike other guys who just felt free to to let their hands roam in that dark and very crowded dance floor. We danced for a while, and then evelyn and rachelle had to leave already. naturally, ivy and i told our partners we had to leave too, so i just shook qiyan's hand and said bye-bye.

but we didn't leave yet. joseph still wanted to dance. haha! so ivy and i looked for some place where we could sit and rest our tired feet. i also didn't want to hang around the dance floor because i was afraid of seeing my partner again. (i told him i had to leave already, right?) we found some cozy chairs on one corner of rouge. then sundeep sms-ed me and asked us where we were coz he's tired too. i told him to meet me near the entrance so i will lead him to where ivy and i are coz it's hard to describe the location in sms.

while i was waiting for sundeep, guess who i bumped into? Qiyan again.

Qiyan: Hey, i thought you already left?

Me: (in my mind:oooops.) Oh, the other two girls we danced with left already, but my other friend still wanted to dance, so cannot leave yet.

and blah-blah. After a while,

Qiyan: Hey, would you like some drink?

Me:(in my mind: haha, first time in my life someone offered to buy me a drink in a club. and since i'm sooo thirsty...) yeah, sure.

and blah-blah. oh, before the drinks part, he asked me if we could exchange numbers too. ok.

i sat on the cozy chairs with ivy and sundeep while qiyan went off to look for his friends. aftre a while i got an sms: he's on the dance floor if i'm interested. off we (sundeep, ivy and i) went after finishing the drink.

we danced again. later, time to leave. qiyan went off to look for his friends who disappeared on the dance floor one by one. joseph, sundeep, ivy, and i took a cab home after stopping by 7-11 to buy much-needed water.

on the cab, qiyan sms-ed me again to say he had to go because his friend is stoned, and he's sorry for not making a proper exit. i told him it's ok. i already left too. then sms again. some flattery.

to mama: don't worry. i do not go gaga over guys i just meet on clubs. i'm aware that their sincerity is questionable, and clubs are not the ideal place to look for lifetime partners. i'm a big girl now and i know how to take care of myself.

at least my 15 bucks didn't go down the drain for nothing.

and just when i thought everything is over and i could now proceed to have some quality time with my pillow, someone sms-ed me at 4:30 am and dropped the bomb. of course i wasn't able to sleep right away.

that L-word complicates everything.

hall bash.

wee.=)

statically challenged and something else

i had my statics test this morning. right after the test, these were the words i so much wanted to post here:

so, this is it. let me bask in this feeling for it seems so ethereal..

for quite a while i've been a stranger to this feeling, the kind that makes you smile right after a test because you feel you have done well. haha. since i became an undergrad, as i sat through all those tests and exams, all i've been praying for was for God to let me just pass the test, because even that is pretty unlikely to happen. but of course, when i got that horrendous CAP (or SAP) last sem, i decided that i have had enough. my grade was an all-time low and i don't think any pinoy in NUS could beat that. i just sit through gritted teeth when i listen to those complaining that their grade is ONLY 3-point-something. maybe if they had my CAP they would have been fertilizing daffodils by now (haha, that line again.) i'm just so grateful that i'm still here.

funny. now i call niel my 'bro'. haha=) just gave him some advice on what pleases the female species to help his panliligaw. maybe i would like to blackmail him and say all the wrong things. haha..kidding. i would never do that. ya, you niel you, just remember what i told you. if all else fails, you can still marry me. haha!=)

um, what else..hall bash later!=) yey. i don't know why i'm so psyched to go. i just want to party with party people. also my first time to go clubbing with singaporeans and people from our hall. i don't know, back at home i don't go out much. in fact, i don't go out at all! haha, except if i get invited to a party. and since this sem would be my last stay in Kent Ridge Hall, might as well make the most out of it and be with my hall friends while there's still a chance.

right now, all is right in the world. oh no, not yet. soon, i hope.

i am still so sleepy.

so i told myself if i get up now, i will allow myself to blog first then take a bath then go and start my day. i will not be blogging later on because i have statics test tomorrow. hall bash tomorrow too!

anyway, i wanted to blog about my day yesterday. i woke up at 1pm. i freaked out. i was supposed to have my singapore studies discussion session at 12. fortunately there's another discussion session at 2-4pm by the same tutor, so i could attend that. but that means i would have to miss my maths lecture at 3-4 pm, but that's ok because it's only for an hour, attendance is not needed, and it's in the webcast anyway.

so that's exactly what happened to me. i went for another discussion group. i was happy after the discussion because it proved one thing: I ACTUALLY HAVE A BRAIN! hahaha. yep yep.

for the first hour ms. lisa carried on in giving her own comments about the assigned readings, which is quite useful becuase we could use those concepts for our term paper. after that she grouped us into four, in order for us to discuss the two questions written on the handouts. i was grouped with three singaporeans.

the questions were about singapore's national identity. the first one was whether we agree with PM Goh's statement that Singapore is only a state and not a nation. i told my groupmates i disagree. i said it all boils down to how you define a nation. based on the definition given in the handout, singapore is definitely not a nation. but i argue that there are other ways of defining a nation, just like what ms. lisa was discussing just now. she told us about the conceptual approach in defining a nation. this approach has four dimensions, and i feel that the psychological approach applies to singapore, wherein the nation is an imagined community. (hey, remember my post where i was grappling with what 'imagined community' is? haha now i get it.)

my groupmates had different answers. the two girls seemed to agree with PM Goh, while the guy's stance is like mine, i think. their reasoning is mainly based on the article about PM Goh and didn't inject what Ms. Lisa had said. that's why while i was explaining my thoughts i felt grilled (their eyes were all on me, for one), and i felt unsure because i was the only one in our group who had that idea.

but guess what? when we regrouped and discussed as a whole class again, the tutor had exactly the same answer as mine.(imagine the smile creeping up my face while ms lisa was explaining). turns out members of the group adjacent to us also had a unanimous idea, same as mine. i also got wonderful insights from other people, so in sum, the discussion group went well.

i missed maths lecture right, and next was CN1111. listening to the new lecturer is painful. he speaks in super-singlish accent. oh, torture. but he's kind. ok.

then at night KR had TGIO. fun fun! KR Rockers are really good. they play real MUSIC, not merely noise. we sang the KR Goodnight song twice. it's this mushy, touchy-feely song where everyone has to put his/her arms around the persons next to him/her, be really close with each other while singing the song...

A family...a family...that's what we are...

imagine KR residents forming a very big circle and doing that. brings out the tremendous hall spirit we have and the feeling that everyone is important, as well as a sense of belongingness.

ok i have to take a bath now...happy day happy day. i declare. haha.

p.s.

p.s. people might misinterpret me. i am so fond of writing cryptic messages only I can understand.

this and that are different.

might as well not spoil the fun and let people bathe in curiosity. as for me, i will not talk about this anymore. right.

who cares anyway.

friends and lovers.

niel and i are friends again. haha. ok, so now i've accepted the fact that he already found somebody new, so i might as well get on with my life already. by the way, i didn't know mama got worried sick about me, because she couldn't view my blog for some reason, i wouldn't answer her calls (my phone was on silent mode, sorry), i was always offline in msn (that's because i go online at night, when she's not in her office anymore), and the last message i sent her was 'i miss niel=(' . maybe she thought i jumped off my window already or what. finally she caught me in msn, as i ta pau-ed my dinner and went online while she was still in her office. we chatted for a while, yey. thanks ma. i love you.

anyway, so..now there's only one other person whom i haven't shown substantial effort to be friends with again. anyway, i could relate to his last post, as i traversed that same lonely road last night, when, out of the blue, i decided to just go to his hall for no reason at all. i was rehearsing in my mind what i would be about to say though. but actually i was planning to just go have a look at him, then leave. if he asks why i went there, i'll just say 'i just wanted to see you', and leave. sometimes i scare myself, keeping the rational korinna in me in the deepest recesses of my being, and letting that other korinna emerge. anyway, he wasn't there. at least i was greeted by his now friendly roommate with a smile. and i was able to exercise.

back to niel again. he made kwento about his new girl, aileen. i saw her pic in friendster. pretty. though every word in his email about aileen still scorched my feelings, well, i've finally decided not to eradicate him in my life. yep, i will still listen. i will still be his friend. i will still love him, but now only as a friend. YEAH RIGHT. haha. for he is a jewel, and it's better to have him as a friend than not have him at all.

funny. because i'm actually a jealous friend. i'm a jealous friend when that friend is special to me. maybe it doesn't show. because maybe that person doesn't know how special that person is. maybe because i do not tell that person.

anyway, i've lost count on how many crushes i've had since i got here. when i see a fairly good-looking guy, in my head i will say 'ah, from now on you are my crush'. it's just my way of appreciating God's wonderful creations. now, i've defind 'crush' as merely admiration for good looks. crushes are not special to me. and 'good looks' should be in accordance to the standards i set.

i have a friend who is not my crush. but it's not hard to fall for this person. (especially now that niel has aileen already, wouldn't it be fair if i would have someone special too? hahaha.) but then, cannot. we are too different. but are those subtle hints you like me back or just products of my imagination? i'll stick with the latter. so now i have the right to sing that line from rivermaya's Bali Song: " ..for all i know you only see me as a friend.. " haha. life. even though my love life is a big fat zero, i am not in a hurry anyway. or maybe this paragraph you are reading is tantamount to bullcrap and nothing more.

i still have tons of things to do. ciao!

musing

just came from my 8 am tutorial. not much time to spare, i still have class.

i only had 3 wonderful(?) hours of sleep last night. that gives me the right to act sluggish.

was such a klutz too, my bag flew off my shoulder towards the pavement as i was crossing (J-walking). car was behind me.

PLEASE TAKE MY HEART AWAY. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE.

and i quote from my brother's favorite song:

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

for me. right now.

forum bazaar

books are a luxury.

*sigh*.

i wouldn't mind at all being locked inside a library, especially if it's filled with Sheldon's or Grisham's or Sparks' novels.

as long as i have a good book to read, i am fine.

oh yeah, happy birthday robin mcdonald. haha, my 'term of endearment' for robinson go, who reminds me so much of my dear not-so-little brother. (and 'jashep' for joseph sorongon. hope they wouldn't see it as mutilating their names.)

yey! my kind Singapore Studies tutor says my questionnaire looks fine. now i could proceed distributing copies of it to gather relevant data for my term paper.

rouged.

the valentine fever is almost over..so, what happened to me in the midst of all the hullabaloo starry-eyed turtledoves celebrate?

nothing much.

hehe=) but it's ok. this time it's a celebration of me and my girlfriends. of course we can't be with each other physically- we're all miles apart. we emailed each other, though.

i'm so happy for kristine and danny. happy anniversary! hehe galing talaga ni tin pumili ng date.=)

i'm so happy for agnes. someone asked her out! =) binroadcast ba...but u should be proud bruha. hehe=)

i'm so happy for kristia for having met someone who would constantly remind her that 'the world is such a beautiful and handsome place to live in'. o diba, beautiful na, handsome pa. todo na to. hahaha.

thanks ivy for the chocolate. =) and for caring.

and of course, to my everdearest sister, flifax ka, thank you sa mga pinagsasabi mo sa friendster.

**super inggit ako sa yo. kelangan mo bang sabihin na PINK lahat ng gamit mo? hehe ok lang. nanakawin ko yan lahat sa yo.

at sa advice chuva mo.

at sino ang nagbigay ng bulaklak sa yo? baka pangit ha. dapat ka level ni papa jericho. haha.**

sometimes i just take these people for granted. and i had to go through a heartache just to see that they actually are there for me. haller.

P.S.

this is about my brother. i sms-ed him a valentine greeting with an 'i-love-you'. he replied:


happy valentines din! i luv u! cno 2? hehe sori d k nksave sa fonbok ko.


hahahahaha.. nag i love you tapos hindi naman pala kilala. loko ka pala. bakit sanay na sanay ka na ba? haha.

wala ako sa phonebook kasi bago sim nya. =)

i love you.

happy valentine's day!

=)

i love you mama

i love you papa

i love you dimple

i love you paolo

i love you yc

there's no point being angry.

happiness is a choice.

and i'm making it right now.

=).

there.

yet another paper to swamp me

i finally emailed my singapore studies tutor to help me get started on my term assignment, which is due in two weeks time. GOD HELP ME. i don't understand what she just advised. imagined community?



Hello Korinna,

I suggest that what is underlying your "equality for all" paradigm hints at something a little deeper than issues of meritocracy. I think you might have a more fruitful time thinking about this issue of Chinese Cleaning Lady vs Fillipino maid in terms of national identity and imagined community.

I attach my sample term paper for your reference. Please have a look at the readings on national identity (Topic 3). It is a good place to get started for your research.

Regards,
Lisa


-----Original Message-----
From: Espinosa Korinna Gacal
Sent: Sat 2/12/2005 5:45 PM
To: Lim Bee Fong, Lisa
Cc:
Subject: help for term paper

Dear Ms Lisa,

For my term paper, I would like to find out how Singaporeans feel about foreign workers (specifically Filipino maids) here in Singapore. This was instigated by an instance when we were having a block meeting in our hostel, and our block head was advising us to treat our Chinese cleaning auntie well and 'not treat her like a Filipino maid'. I want to find out whether the 'equality for all' paradigm mentioned in the lectures generally holds true or not. I searched the internet for possible ways to get started with my paper, but I am still stoned.

May I ask for suggestions on how to get started? And also, if you don't mind, can you please email me a softcopy of a sample term paper so I would know what style to adopt in doing my paper. Thank you very much.

Korinna Espinosa



so there. i've decided to do a paper about Filipino maids here in Singapore. at first I was hesitant about that topic because I don't think I will ever be prepared to digest what I am about to find out. but after much thought, this is the topic wherein i can have the most say on things, albeit not always objective. but of course I would have to set aside my being a Filipino in doing this research so it won't be colored with unnecessary partiality to my fellowmen.

ok, so i have to work now. gee whiz this is so exciting.

not.

talking rubbish. again.

i give up. i cannot just keep this to myself.

it's a saturday night and i can't think of anything better to do than to study multiple integrals. that is, after i did my laundry, rearranged my room, threw away all the rubbish i had collected this sem ( i have a PhD as a garbage collector, really), cleaned my ceiling fan, cleaned my mirror, arranged my clothes..did anything and everything i could think of to get you off my mind.

but here i am, blogging, because even though you are miles away you still distract me. i've been reading the same line in my lecture notes 10 times already and still don't dig it. all i could think of is what you're probably doing right now. did you just send her a goodnight sms? or maybe you two are still texting each other about what happened today, about how you wish to see her again tomorrow..or are you two chatting on the phone? sh*t.

what will you give her this valentine's day? are you going to watch a movie? are you going to hold her hand? are you going to try to kiss her? are you going to carry her bag even though it's so 'pa-girl' but you won't mind because you wouldn't want her to get tired? are you going to call her 'baby'? are you going to treat her like a princess too? have you told her you love her?

i knew it would hurt, but i didn't know it would hurt this bad. yesterday's nightmare is now a reality.

i thought i already sang ONE LAST CRY last night, but why is still there a lump forming in my throat?

don't tell me i'm still special. what good will that do to me? nothing. it's just a cliche, a consolation, a first-aid to stitch my heart's broken pieces.

do i sound so bitter? but don't worry. go ahead, good luck. be happy. i will be, too. just give me time.

or jericho rosales.

blech.

I had put in A+ effort for my critique. i expect to reap what i had sown.

i am going to australia one of these days.

i am going to europe in the not-so-distant future.

i am going to get rich.

i am going to get over you.

i am going to put this all into action.

time starts NOW.

this too, is UNBLOGGABLE.

...

and to all the pseudo-friends who abandoned me when all hell broke loose, thanks for nothing.

wang dexim!

a miracle happened today. ok, not exactly.

wayne's roommate said hello.

the guy is most miserly when it comes to giving smiles and saying hi's and hello's. surprisingly, he was the one who initiated the 'hello'.

it happened in the lift in E5 on my way to submit my homework to the most useless tutor i've ever had. oops, a bit harsh. but true. (our one-hour tutorial on tuesdays is just 'free time' to solve for a particular problem we have to submit on fridays. as if statics and mechanics of materials is a breeze. he doesn't even explain the solutions to other problems. consequently, students who don't even know how to attack the problem just resort to copying the solutions from seniors or batchmates who had taken the module previously.)

back to wang dexim. he is someone who doesn't know that he is in fact, good-looking. i noticed he had a haircut not so recently. i just hope the barber is now somewhere 6 feet under fertilizing daffodils. oops, a bit harsh again. ok, i take that back. no one deserves to die for giving bad haircuts.

wayne's roommate is geekiness exemplified. i'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. in fact, people who look smart exude an aura of charm. but sometimes i just wish somebody had told him he is a looker so he would act, or just dress, like one. ok, so maybe he is happy with the way he is. i just think that....ok, never mind what i think.

i need to leave now. later.

the banger sister

let me act like a teenager while i am still one.

let's talk about, of all mundane things, my hair. let me first give you a little background info. i just got myself a new pair of rubber slippers - or a more chic term, flip flops - because of the trivial reason that i didn't have one. guess which color? i need not elaborate. at first i decided not to buy one to save money, and instead just use my 'pang-alis' sandals even when taking a bath. but i realized i'm reducing the life expectancy of my 'pang-alis' sandals when i use them for bathing, so i really have to buy a pair of rubber ones. this lead me to realize some other basic things i do not have, such as a comb, which brings us to the topic about my hair.

i wish i had taken a photo of myself with my new bangs - or a more chic term, fringes - so i could post it in here for just anyone to see. i don't remember the last time before this when i had bangs. all i remember is that my father used to be my hairdresser. he was the one responsible of me having an odd hairdo, one with bangs that are only halfway the length of my forehead. i looked funny, but of course cute nonetheless. haha. as i grew up, i decided that having bangs are becoming so-yesterday and uncool, so i stopped sporting them.

but until just recently, bangs are becoming pretty chic again. i went to have a haircut just before my 19th birthday and instructed the hairdresser to just trim my hair a bit and retain more or less the length of my hair. i also had highlights (yes ferron i had highlights), but they didn't live up to their name. ** bucks wasted. actually the lady was quite apologetic because she was so enthusiastic about how my hair would look 'different' with the highlights, but to our dismay the highlights just won't show. she asked me whether i had colored my hair just recently, and i said yes, just before going back to singapore i also had my hair made to reflect a reddish hue. but guess what? didn't work too. i wouldn't have gone to get some highlights if my hair had apparent color already. why, hair, why?

anyway, back to the bangs. the whole time the lady was trimming my hair, i was praying the result wouldn't be catastrophic. i would feel guilty seeing strands of my hair falling unto the salon floor, already detached from my body. they won't be a part of me anymore, and that's a bit sad. the lady kept on cutting and trimming, and then went on to reach for the part of my hair that frames my face. with a sickening whoosh of her scissors, she gave me bangs.

i was quite relieved upon seeing my reflection. hmm..not bad. not bad at all. haha. in fact, i liked it. what's cool is that my bangs are not of the same length, and they do not run across my forehead. i just sweep them on both sides of my head because for one, they are especially designed that way.

that's also the last time a comb ever touched my hair. what's so ironic is that before, i almost believed i wouldn't be able to survive without a comb. back in highschool i would always, without fail, have a comb in my pocket. i would always, without fail, comb my hair every after class. even during class when the teacher is not looking.

well, some things in life are not indispensable after all.

time to move on.

but i'm not getting married any soon

papa sent me an email..woot!=) he said:

You might want to reflect on this anak to guide you hehe..We love you..
Papa


CHERISH YOUR CHOSEN ONE
By: Bo Sanchez

Getting married is the greatest mistake anyone can ever make. Being wed is the height of insanity, the most ludicrous commitment, the most totally illogical decision any human being can fall into. Tell me. Why should I commit myself to be with one woman for the rest of my life - and thereby reject 3.2 billion other females in the world?

Along the way, I'll meet a girl who'll be more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more charming, or sexier, or holier. So why nail myself down to one choice, permanently - and suffer the agony of simply watching beauties pass me by?

And in western countries, one out of two marriages end up in divorce. That blows my mind. That's a pathetic 50% failure rate! I would never buy a car, a stereo, a shaver, or even a nail clipper if there was a 50% chance that it would conk out on me. I simply wouldn't.

And why stay with one person "in sickness or in health, in riches or in poverty, till death do us part"? Is my mind fried? If my shirt shrinks on me because I eat too many pizzas, don't I just throw it away and buy an XL? (That will be the day.) And if I outgrow an ancient computer, don't I just look for an updated version?

And then there's the catastrophe some call kids. I mean, I don't really want to wake up in the middle of the night to entertain a self-centered bald, toothless tyrant in diapers? Do I really want little rampaging monsters to break the most expensive furniture in my house? Do I really want juvenile creatures to stay on the phone for six hours straight, listen to noise they call music that you believe came directly from hell, and mope around uncommunicative, catatonic, and depressed because another demented juvenile creature (a.k.a. boyfriend) hasn't called in the past thirty minutes?

Why should I go through the torture? Marriage is insanity.

But a few years ago, on my 32nd birthday, I gave myself a special birthday gift: I got married to a lovely woman - and committed myself to insane living.

Marowe is her name, the person I chose - out of 3.2 billion females.

Yes, we now have a tiny tyrant that wakes up at night, and in the near future, we will most likely have little monsters that will destroy our house during playtime, and creatures from outer space that we will call teenagers.

Why?

For three reasons.

FAITH. We believe that God calls us into marriage. And if HE called us there, that means He'll be there to meet us. We will suffer all things - just let us be with our God.

HOPE. We confidently expect the best blessings - immeasurably much more than all the hardships. God will bless us beyond our wildest dreams.

LOVE. Oh yes, there will be other females who'll be more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more this and more that. But they'll only be just that - females - like flowers in the field of a million hectares of flower fields.

But not this woman - my Marowe - the one beautiful flower I have personally chosen, personally picked from her roots, personally planted in my own clay pot, personally watered everyday, personally watched everyday, and personally loved everyday. Because of my love for her, there will be no one like her.

In my heart, she will eternally be the most beautiful flower of them all.

Because in the end, there will only be faith, hope and love.

And the greatest of these is LOVE.


erm, hello? sige, para sa future.=) or maybe my parents got so concerned when one night i suddenly sms-ed my mother during the dead of the night just to tell her i miss someone. i got her reply a day later. it was heartwarming and i wished my mother was with me that moment so i could give her a hug. but i didn't do any of the things she advised me to do. oops. =p

THAT was a creepy one-liner. there goes another candidate for my blocked contacts.

bye mark

i was hoping for some scout from Armani or Gucci to roam around our campus, spot my CN1111 lecurer Mark Saeys, and take him away as a fashion model. That way he wouldn't have to teach us. Fortunately, that's not needed anymore because he already gave his last lecture a while ago. Some other guy, hopefully a more adept one in teaching, would take over.

Now, i rarely describe anyone as 'gorgeous', but i'm going to use that word right now. mark saeys is undoubtedly gorgeous. he wears specs so he looks nerdy, but he kind of reminds me of the geeky Clark in Superman. he's probably the most knockout teacher/lecturer i will ever have in my life. he is extremely smart too. he knows an awful lot of stuff, and he often assumes we know what he's talking about, but actually we don't .

one time during a five-minute break in our 2-hour lecture, i went to the toilet and i overheard another girl saying 'i don't learn anything from mark'.

but he's not that bad. he tries to be funny too. i guess it's because he and his students have immensely diverse backgrounds. they have their own ways in belgium and we have our own ways here in singapore. he's been to many other prestigious universities but i bet it's his first time to teach here in NUS.

and i didn't take CN1111 to be taught by a dreamboat. for me, it's more important that i actually learn something from the module.

but on a more positive note, if incomprehensible lecturers are a given, then just staring at Mark Saeys' face makes a 2-hour lecture bearable.

futile

i've been waiting and waiting, but still, nothing.

i just wasted my time. =(

This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always been in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.

This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he would get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.

When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never MAKE the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul
to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play-off game, the
coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."

Then Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear.

As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach,
please let me play. I've just got to play today," said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close play-off game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in."

Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied.

In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you've never heard!

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?" He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?"

The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

if there's one place where i won't get bored, it's in a room full of mirrors.

but right now, i have to stop playing narcissus.

else i'll die just like him. not beside a pool though, but under piles of term papers due this month.

BASHahin niyo.

i have something to look forward to. kr hall bash, feb 19, rouge orchard. sinong gustong sumama? tara na friends samahan niyo kami ni joseph. 15 bucks with one free drink, entry before midnight. may pageant preview rin. perfect timing rin coz it's on saturday right before midsem break. wheee i can hardly wait.=)

i'm free

Sorry for delaying the result,

Please submit a resignation letter to me, short one will do.
This is just for documentation only.

Regards,
Hasikin.

today is one of those days when i look in the mirror and i don't appreciate what i see. i feel bloated and my hair seems to have a life of its own. this is my, what, 10th outfit change? yet i'm still shabbily dressed. heck, i'm only going for a one-hour tutorial, my only class for today (since my other tutorials for tuesdays are only held fortnightly). this is what i get for crying myself to sleep.