nosi ba lasi?

hanep talaga itong si arthur bigla na lang susulpot na parang kabute pag kailangan mo ng encouragement o ng kahit anong klaseng tulong, mapa-maging kargador ng mabibigat na boxes, paghatid sa airport, at kung anu-ano pa. isa sa mga pinakalumang text sa cellphone ko ay ang pagbati niya ng "God bless sa QET!". isa sa mga taong masarap maging kaibigan. yehey mabuhay si arthur.

yehey okay na kami ni sundeep pagkatapos ko syang dramahan na naman. nagwalk out ako nung lunch. oo mali ako. tuloy, hindi ako nakakain til bago lang. no breakfast, no lunch, so i ended up spending $10 sa dinner. tama ba yun.

oo nga michael, pano na rin ako makapag-stalk sa friendster?

Jesus..I do not know what to do. And I am tired of worrying about what I should do.

I am damned. I am in need. I am sad.

Analyze That

No, not the movie. *shakes head*.

It just occurred to me that this coming Thursday would be my busiest day yet for this sem, as I will have 'compulsary' things on from 9am to 9pm with only an hour official break in between.

0900-1100: Hydraulics lecture
1100-1300: Infrastructure and the Environment lecture
1300-1400: LUNCH BREAK
1400-1500: Engineering and Uncertainty Analysis lecture
1500-1600: Computer Aided Engineering tutorial (okies, optional!)
1600-1800: sell yellow ribbons for NUS SANA CCA
1815-2100: NUSSU Annual General Meeting (yipee now I'm officially in NUSSU Welfare)
2100 onwards: drop dead on the pavement. joke. or catch up on lessons. MUG is the word.

A while ago during Structural Analysis lecture, my mind was wandering about, and I couldn't really concentrate on what the prof was saying. I was asking God questions such as: the moment after I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, why didn't He allow me to be trampled upon by elephants, so that I could already go straight to Heaven and not experience any more pain and hardships on earth? What provoked me in asking such questions was that I was feeling very sucky that morning because my boyfriend didn't smile at me during the whole of lecture. Haha, okay I am not that shallow. Okay, maybe I am.

Anyway, back to my question. Actually, I got the idea from Kuya Pheng when he was teaching us in our SFS lessons in church. He told us that for God, the destination (Heaven) is not as important as the journey itself (how we live our life on earth). Otherwise, when Pastor Butch would make the altar call for new believers, he'd have a shotgun in hand so that when people accept Christ as their Lord and Savior, they'd be able to talk to Him straight away without any celestial divide.

So basically I already had the answer before I asked the question, but I still went on and asked anyway.

Now I'm going to write about my Structural Analysis lab this afternoon. We were tasked to design an aluminum beam weeks before, and this afternoon we literally got our hands dirty in fabricating the beam. We had our lab in this warehouse-like building beside Engin canteen. The first time I went there (for consultation regarding the beam design), I got lost inside because I was quite hesitant to actually explore the place to look for this specific room to meet the lab assistant. Imagine dull colors, big chains, metals, metals, and more metals, drilling devices, welding devices, and other civil engineering whatnots. The whole place screams traditional civil engineering working environment.

But this afternoon turned out to be quite fun, because the lab session reinforced this yoohoo-I'm-going-to-be-an-engineer feeling. My group measured the aluminum strips according to specifications, whacked some parts off, filed the edges to smoothen them out, drilled holes so that the aluminum strips could be welded with rivets, and basically built the I-beam according to our design. Since the guys in our group are more adept at the actual beam fabrication, Dewi and I were more keen on solving the predicted failure load of our beam. But as I said, we (and that includes me) all got our hands dirty, and thank God no one in our group had been just a free rider. There'd be another session for this lab whereby we'd explain to class how we designed our beam, and for the actual failure load testing.

Lately I've been feeling very tired. I currently have lots of things on, and I didn't even manage to see Sundeep for the whole weekend. Then yesterday and today we also didn't see each other anymore after lectures, because we had our own stuff to do.

P.S.

I'm broke, and getting more broke everyday.

But thank you God for everything, and I know that you will provide.

Cyril: di pa ko nakareply sa email mo, sorry po..and thanks very much for tagging=)

bloggie, see you whenever.

i'm back, balakubak!

because i can't think of anything else that would go with 'i'm back', which parallels 'by the way, highway', 'keep it up, lollipop!', and 'wats dat, kabayong bundat'.

so anyway, today officially ends our mid-semester break and i give myself permission to post again. first up, eto ang sabi ng tatay ko sa last part ng email nya:

Godbless! We love you so much, and send our best regards & gratitude to the one person who makes you happy! (Hi Sundeep!)

Papa


this added to the euphoria induced by the beta-endorphins that just started kicking in, because i just came from jogging around the campus with who else (Hi Sundeep!).

whoowhee! back from nerdsville, and i had a pleasant 4-day stay in a suite at hotel hon sui sen. they even have this sexy, seductive music playing at 9:45 pm, after a lady announces that lights will be switched off in 5 minutes. traveled first class via A2 shuttle bus. ok, so basically sundeep and i made a home out of the library just like nirorn.

i also went to the gym once during the break. yes i went to the gym! i didn't just sit there and gawk at guys' buffed up bodies (because for one there wasn't any). i toiled and had myself sweating profusely.

oh, and last sunday i went to the centennial carnival. i was really surprised when i was nearing the SRC field where the carnival was set up, because they were blasting "ONE WAY, JESUS", obviously a Christian song. it's one of wyldfire's favorite songs in church too, i suppose hehe=). i was really surprised because i didn't know NUS allows songs affiliated with any religion to be blasted in any public place in campus for everyone to hear. but it made me very happy, and i strode faster to see what's the Christian-song-playing all about.

i would never have guessed that the one responsible for the festive music was a little boy of about five. he was hammering on the drums like a pro! the only live music was him playing the drums, so there needed to be some recorded accompaniment. but still, he's so good! i was so touched when i saw him play and hear the amazing music he was making at the same time. for a moment i wanted to get him off the stage and take him home with me just so i could hug him as long as i want to, as well as let him play the drums as i please. but i cannot own him, so forget it.

i also went to the SRC track to see the illustrious NUS alumni Dr. William Tan. the first time i saw him making the rounds on the track, i got teary-eyed. he is so inspiring and i adore him. for those who are not familiar with him, the following are just some of the distinctions under his name:

MBBS(Newcastle), PhD(Auckland), MOH(Harvard), MSc(Oxford), MPhil(Hons, Auckland), MHlthSc(Sydney), ScM(Hons, Massey), MHSc(Auckland), BSc(NUS)...and so on.

he is a neuroscientist, a medical doctor, an accomplished sportsman and an international ultramarathon fundraiser. he has completed 10 marathons in 7 continents in 70 days. all of his accomplishments make him sound amazing right? i bet you'll be astounded as i had been when you learn that this fellow doesn't have any legs because he contracted polio when he was two! yes he's in a wheelchair yet he's accomplished so much! such a shame to bums with complete body parts who beg for food when they have able bodies to work.

look at the above list of his distinctions again. even for people who are supposedly more fortunate because they have all the body parts they need, it's still a feat to be able to achieve such things.

i went to his talk the other day, and he narrated his life story and his recent wheelchair push in Antarctica - yes, the land of the penguins. this man has had incalculable rejections all his life because of his disadvantaged background, but he's also never stopped conquering limits. one of the most hurtful things ever thrown at him was by a professor at medical school, who told him that he was wasting a slot at their university on the first day of classes. you see, he's toiled long and hard prior to medical school, and when he finally got in he was abashed just like that. but he's not about to be shaken by the sheer miscalculated judgment of his professor. so when he finally topped his class in the end, the professor was humbled and apologized. hurray!

dr. william tan has really made a difference in my life, and his impact is so great that i want to tell him "Hebigats ka chong!" while making bang-bang hand gestures originated by joseph.

so there, back to school tomorrow. i shall end this post by singing...

smelly cat, smel-ly cat,
what are they feeding you?
smelly cat, smel-ly cat,
it's not your fault...

(yes i've just recently appreciated the serial FRIENDS. i had been living in a cave when the rest of the world got addicted to it).

whudever.

i'm just upset that my mother never bothers to reply to my sms, never emails me, never reads my blog now. whoa too busy is it? i've witnessed it first-hand how busy she is, but at least have some time to know that i'm still alive what.

i'm upset because i miss her.

-*-

(after an hour)

i sms-ed my father asking him why my mother never replies to my sms. you see, my father always replies promptly to me and even calls me ocassionally to 'check my attendance'. hehe. so yeah, as it turns out, she did reply to me but the network's probably gone bonkers so i didn't get her message. when my father called, i started crying because i was having a bad day. he sensed i was crying and i just told him i'm tired. he then assumed i was tired and super-stressed due to acads. after a while my mother sms-ed me and gave me motherly advice. she even told me to JUST GO HOME if i really couldn't cope...but i think she was just using reverse psychology because in the latter part of her message she gave me encouragement to hold on, showed me how i'm so better off if i stay in singapore, and reminded me to count my blessings.

but really, i'm okay and I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME TO STUDY! i'm having a grand time here. i was just having a bad day so i cried. okay, i cried because i was upset because of her 'ignoring' me, and sundeep not having lunch with me! haha petty. but everything's okay now. i just, you know, wanted my mother's presence felt though she's miles away. thanks mama and papa, i love you so much my heart cannot contain it.

oh yes, thanks missy. yeps how could my own mother not miss me? hehe=)

okay, really now back to nerdsville.

baboosh.

bye for now blogosphere, coz for the mid-semester break i'm heading off to nerdsville.

sunny days

i typed a long post early this morning at 1 am plus, then i don't know, blogger's gone bonkers so everything i wrote got deleted. anyway, the bulk of the post was about sundeep. yes i'm writing about him again for the umpteenth time if you've noticed.

i admire the person. he's so 'on' in terms of academics and extra-curricular activities. yet he still finds time for his friends, soccer matches online, and of course, me , haha.

sometimes i wonder why the guy's so smart. i just saw his portfolio recently and i was quite impressed, though i didn't really make it that obvious. he got all A's in his A-levels, except for english where he got a B. but yeps he got an A in French, a language that i'd absolutely want to learn. my CAP is a shame compared to his (ok, compared to everyone else's). but really, he scores way better than i do in tests and exams, considering that we almost always study together especially come exam period. i especially remember the night before our physics final exam in year 1, i was sharing to him last minute tips MY tutor (we had different tutorial groups) also shared to us. i really found the tips very helpful, and i thought i prepared well enough for the exam. then came our results, i got a measly C while he got an A! aaaa! but anyway, i'm happy when he gets good marks. it also motivates me to work harder, because for one i do not want him to feel that he's got a dimwit for a girlfriend.

he stays in kr, which is a very demanding hall if you ask me. (now here is where you correctly guess why i'm now out of kr after staying there for a year.) he's currently kr's takraw captain for the inter-hall games (hope kr wins!), very active in C block happenings, and he goes to virtually all hall activities that require him to come. he makes it vocal that he loves being in kr, and he also shows it.

he's also a very good friend to his friends. we started off as friends remember, and he was there when i so badly needed a listening ear. but he's also good to everyone, so at some point i even considered siaw ling as a potential 'threat' because she's smart and pretty and she's also his good friend. but now not anymore, because..hehe that's another post altogether. he makes it a point to chat with his mauritian friends when he bumps into them. he's also the life of the group, because he always gives very funny and witty remarks. and this i must reiterate, he does have a great sense of humor.

when i'm with him, i also get freebies muahaha. that's what boyfriends are for, right? WRONG. that's just one of the perks of having one. we still have our differences and we do argue, but not anymore as awful as before when i was still uber feisty. now i'm beginning to see the real sundeep, and yes world, i do love him. now i'm beginning to dig the idea of me having exotic-looking kids with a beautiful nose and lovely lashes in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar future.

he doesn't really know that i admire him for all these things, because i don't really show it. but, haiz. am i in love, or am i in love? haha, but please God, when will i see the day that he'll get to know you the way i do and love you too?

not for the faint of heart.

This was emailed to me by my father because he wants me to be careful. Also one of those things that could provoke one to ask God "Why?". The answer lies in His infinite wisdom and is way beyond my means to comprehend.



This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999.



This is she and her Father, 1998.



This is she on Vacation in Venezuela.



Birthday party as a child.



At a party with friends.



The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999.



After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations.



Jacqueline was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt during around 45 seconds.



With her Father, 2000.



Getting treatment.



Three months after accident.



Without a left eyelid Jacquie needs eye drops to keep her vision.



Now 20 year old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night three years ago.



This picture was taken 4 years after the accident and the doctors are still working on Jacqueline, whose body was covered with 60% severe burnings.

kuwento ng isang puta

got it from pal.


Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko puta daw ako. Nagpapagamit, binabayaran. Sabi nila ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Ang bango-bango ko daw, sariwa at makinis. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.

Tara makinig ka muna sa kwento ko, yosi muna tayo.

Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin, nagkagusto, naakit. Ang hirap pag lahat sa iyo virgin eh. Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Masakit alalahanin, iniisip ko na lang na kase di sila taga rito, siguro talagang ganoon.
Tatlong malilibog na foreigners ang namyesta sa katawan ko, na-rape daw ako.

Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko makakalimutan. Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Tinulungan nya kasi akong makalimutan yung mga sadistang Hapon at Coñotics. Kase, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. Ibang klase siya mag-sorry, lalo pa at kinupkop niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko.

Parating ang dami naming regalo - may chocolates, yosi, ano ka! May datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya, alam kong ginagamit nya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-inggles, di lang magsulat ha! Magbasa pa! Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. 'Yun nga lang, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na sosyal kami.

Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na kaligayahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay. P*** ng I**! Sa dami ng lason na sinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga tanga ko. Patalsikin ko na daw. Sa tulong ng mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang animal pero ang hirap magsimula.

Masyado na kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay na naranasan namin sa kanya. Lubog na lubog pa kami sa utang, kulang ata pati kaluluwa namin para ibayad sa mga inutang namin.

Sinikap naming lahat maging maganda ang buhay namin. Ayun, mga nasa Japan, Hong Kong, Saudi ang mga anak ko. Yung iba nag-US, Europe. 'Yung iba ayaw umalis sa akin. Halos lahat, wala naman silbi, masaya daw sa piling ko, maski amoy usok ako.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko na nagsisikap na tulungan ang kalagayan namin, siya din ang dami ng mga anak ko na namamantala sa kabuhayan at kayaman na itinatabi ko para sa punyetang kinabukasan naming lahat. Dumating ang panahon na di na kami halos makaahon sa hirap ng buhay. Napakahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap.

Ang di ko inaakala ay mismong mga anak ko, ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Napakasakit tanggapin na malinlang. Akala ko ay makakakita ako ng magiging kasama sa buhay sa mga ahas na ipinakilala ng mga anak ko. Hindi pala. Ang tanga ko talaga. Binugaw ako ng sarili kong mga anak kapalit ng kwarta at pansamantalang ginhawa na nais nilang matamasa.

Wala na akong nagawa dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga anak. Wala akong ibang yaman kundi ganda ko. Pinagamit ko na lang ng pinagamit ang sarili ko, basta maginhawa lang ang mga anak ko.

Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapitbahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naaawa. Puta na kase ang isang magandang tulad ko.

Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa ng palaki. Kulang na kulang. Paano na lang ang mga anak ko naiwan sa aking punyetang puder? Baka di na ako balikan o bisitahin ng mga nag-abroad kong mga anak. Hindi na importante kung laspagin man ang ganda ko, madama ko lang ang pagmamahal ng mga anak ko. Malaman nila na gagawin ko ang lahat para sa kanila.

Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko maganda pa rin ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko, namamayagpag kahit saan sila pumunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawin. Tama man o mali. Proud ako sa kanila. Kaso sila, kabaligtaran ang nararamdaman para sa akin.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko, iilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May malasakit man, nahihilaw. Ni di nga ako kinikilalang ina. Halos lahat sila galit sa isa't isa. Walang gusto magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Ang dami ko ng pasakit na tiniis pero
walang sasakit pa nung sarili kong mga anak ang nagbugaw sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masyado silang nasanay sa sarap ng buhay. Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala sarili ko.

Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Isang buwan pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang usap usapan na ang susunod na pagbubugaw ng ilan sa mga anak ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin, ipaglaban naman nila ako. Gusto kong isigaw: "INA NINYO AKO! MAHALIN NYO NAMAN AKO!"

Sige, dumadrama na ako. Masisira na ang make up ko nito eh. Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako.

Ay sorry, di ko nasabi pangalan ko.

Pilipinas nga pala.

letter

De Quiros is sarcastic and funny. I agree with him in ALMOST all aspects, so I'm posting his article for today:

LETTER
by Conrado de Quiros


LAST Sunday, an ad appeared in the inside pages of the Inquirer. I don't know where else it appeared. It was signed by Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and addressed to civil servants. I have taken the liberty of answering it as a typical civil servant might.

The ad goes:

"Malacañan Palace, Manila. To my fellow civil servants:

"Through all the periods of political turmoil in our past, the public servant has always been the great stabilizer of the nation and keeper of the people's welfare. Through this latest episode of partisan conflict, I thank you once more for keeping governance on an even keel.

"I seek an active partnership with you -- from our public school teachers, men and women in uniform, to our medical and social workers, field personnel, messengers and clerks -- those who wear the badge of public service with great pride and honor.

"Help me be a good and just President. Let us offer our people a fresh start by giving them the best services possible --
marked by professionalism, courtesy and integrity. Let our team spirit be enhanced by open dialogue, more opportunities for growth and knowledge, and a system of rewards and incentives to those who excel in the line of duty.

"It is time for the Filipino public servant to take center stage as we bridge the gap between government and the people. I call on you to be by my side as we redouble our efforts to fight poverty, prevent corruption, and promote a system of laws, and not of men, for the greater good of the nation.

"Let us have a fresh start, based on mutual commitment, unity and teamwork. Let us lead the nation and serve the people, and take them to the threshold of a brighter future. Thank you and God bless the Philippines! Mabuhay!

"(Signed) Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, President of the Republic of the Philippines"

Juan de la Cruz's reply:

"Pagasa, Quezon City. To I don't really know what to call you.

"I don't know if your speech -- or letter -- writer was aware of the wealth of ironies he just caused you to mouth, or commit to paper. I half-suspect he was, noting all the virtues you lack and making you argue strenuously for them. That was probably his way of getting back at you for treating him most uncivilly like a servant, for asking him to fetch coffee, if not a freebee, during the times he wasn't writing, and berating him in public for his lack of dedication to service -- the service of fetching, that is.

"But to the ironies. I don't know which is more ironic, the fact that my letterhead says Pagasa or the fact that yours says Malacañan Palace. Pagasa, as you know, means hope. That is something I am hard put to cling to the longer you stay in Malacañan Palace.

"You are right when you say that through the periods of political turmoil, the public servant has proven his worth. The real public servants at least, who are called servants not because they fetch coffee or lick ass, but because they serve the people. The real public servants have truly been the keepers of the people’s welfare even if they have not always been great stabilizers. In fact, they have been the keepers of the people's welfare by being great destabilizers -- of tyranny and oppression. I refer in particular to the congressmen who voted to impeach Joseph Estrada, the senator-judges who tried Estrada, and the congressmen who voted to impeach you.

"You are even more right to use the phrase 'this latest episode of partisan conflict.' This truly is only the latest, not the last. Didn't you yourself warn that if you ran for president, you would usher in 'never-ending divisiveness' in this country? At that you didn't mention cheating. You are wrong though to thank me for keeping your governance on an even keel. It's all I can do to keep my equanimity on an even keel each time I see your letterhead.

"You ask for partnership. Partnership presumes equality. I do not have a wife named Maria Pidal who runs around Las Vegas and sleeps in $20,000 rooms with I don't know whom, courtesy of the taxes I pay. Neither do I get to talk to God or a dead Pope. When Manny Pacquiao wins his fights, I can only attribute it to his efforts and not to my prayers. I do wear the badge of public service with much pride and honor. Certainly, I wear it with much toil and sweat. I see you wearing only a badge that says 'Hello, Garci.'

"I do want to help make the President good and just. Unfortunately, he is dead. He died last December of a broken heart. I do believe in giving the people the best services possible, marked by professionalism, courtesy and integrity. That cannot be the professionalism Garci showed when he complained, 'alam naman po natin, Ma'am, 'yung military hindi marunong gumawa.' That cannot be the courteousness you extended to Acsa Ramirez. I leave the public to say if integrity is your middle name.

"I agree wholeheartedly: Let us give our people a fresh start, let us bring about commitment, unity and teamwork. Let us serve the people and take them to a brighter future. Surely you know how that can be done instantaneously? Please consult again your speech identifying the cause of this country's never-ending divisiveness.

"I will not say the opposite of "Mabuhay!" It is bad form and produces bad karma. I will just say that I only hope, from the heart of Pagasa, that the God you are on speaking terms with has come to love you so much he can't wait to talk to you without a celestial divide.

"I would very much like to put 'Civil Servant' under my name, but I will be honest, a trait we all want civil servants to have, and not attempt to dupe you or the public. I am afraid I am no more a civil servant than you are the President of the Philippines."

"(Signed) Juan de la Cruz, A Man Without A Country"

pixma.

kudos to canon for having a superb customer service. i've feared that my second canon printer has broken down again, and that i would have to buy a new one. last year i bought my first canon iP1000 printer, the cheapest of the lot. i think they mass-produced it for NUS students (as well as for other university students maybe). then suddenly it stopped working, perhaps the ink spilled or something because i saw yellow liquid stuff when i peered inside. i decided to have it fixed by bringing the printer to the forum coop where i bought it. but the lady told me to call canon office instead and they'll provide on-site servicing. i don't know why i got so lazy to call up canon service center then. when the academic year ended and i was preparing to go home, i got so pissed with my spoilt printer that i just left it lying outside A-block lounge for garang guni, or whatever that term is, which means garage sale or something. i just thought to myself that since i got the printer for a low price and have been able to use it for some time anyway, it won't be such a loss if i just dump the thing there. maybe someone will have a heart to have it repaired and it could be put to good use again. but for me, i don't care, i'll just buy a new one. and oh, i told myself never to buy this kind of printer again.

but since i am a person of contradictions, i know you could guess what happened. at the start of this year, there's this promo for the same printer again. it's still the cheapest of the lot, had good reviews from other users, and sundeep decided to buy one for himself. i accompanied him when he went to the canon booth, and I ENDED UP BUYING the same kind of printer i dumped just a few months back.

and just very recently, the second printer's gone bonkers too. whenever i try to print, the paper would get jammed but it would still continue disposing ink, so it's such a waste. i was beginning to suspect i was jinxed with regards to handling a canon pixma iP1000 printer. sundeep even dared to ask me "are you sure you really know how to use a printer?".

so anyway, this time around, i took the effort to call up canon service center. i called yesterday, and the lady's nice. the technician named kelvin came today, and as it turns out there's this foreign object lodged inside the printer that keeps it from functioning properly. the foreign object is a tiny map pin i use to post things on my cork board. my printer was fixed within 5 minutes, and i wasn't charged a single cent. because canon has great customer service, i told kelvin "good job!" and "have a nice day!" when he was leaving, and i think he beamed. yey.=)

study break.

it's heartbreaking reading straits times and watching 24 oras online. victim and suspected murderer were best friends. suspected murderer's family cannot accept that she's being accused of such a macabre crime. everyone who knows her says that she is such a friendly person who is rarely seen without a smile. you wouldn't dare imagine that she is capable of doing such a thing. seeing her husband cry on tv is distressing enough, now imagine her two very young kids aged six and seven being taunted that their mother is worse than an animal for doing such an inhumane deed, and that she will be hanged, and worse of all, that they may never be able to hug her, kiss her, or run to her when their knees get scraped.

victim's family is, of course, grieving and raging with fury. they clamor for justice. their hopes and dreams of being alleviated from poverty were whacked out of their reach with every hit of the cleaver to dismember the victim's body. this lady had a husband and a kid too.

i wonder whose family is hurting more right now.

-*-

this is in partial response to what ivy wrote in her blog. This is not a personal attack; i respect her opinion, but this is just what i think.

actually being the president of the philippines is not the most unwanted post; in fact, it is being desired so much by most trapos hence the perennial threat to oust the incumbent, among other reasons (which by the way i think are more important). they won't bother being called a filthy thief because people who do not have a conscience do not bother about labels, as long as they get what they want, and that is power.

point number two, about gloria being 'judged' by people. well, it is her own lapse of judgment that caused her to suffer this kind of fate she is suffering right now. she cheated in the elections. now this hasn't been officially proven yet, because our smart lawmakers murdered the impeachment complaint that would have further investigated the truth or untruth regarding the accusations. but because of this, it just made matters worse for her because now it's glaringly obvious that she is in fact guilty. now she's in new york for the UN summit, probably happily prancing about in her hotel suite thinking that she got away with being legally ousted.

here on earth we have legal proceedings, we have a judge, we have lawyers, and we have a court as a proper forum for scrutiny and investigations to uncover the truth. but since gloria won't fully cooperate to go about the legal way, people are bound to judge her in some other means. one cannot expect people to be quiet and just let their rights be trampled upon without offering any resistance.

of course God will deal with her accordingly, but it is unlikely through natural ways where human beings are not directly involved. i'm saying that it is unlikely she will be struck by lightning or whisked away by a tornado as punishment for her crimes. my point is, God might be using these whiners too.

criticisms thrown at her won't be as bad if she didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

just my two cents' worth.

one fine day

nothing much to say except..
i love sundeep!

and oh, i praise God because i found the infrastructure and environment test a while ago easy. haha!=) woohoo!

pacquiao and styx

no time to write a long post even though i really want to. i'm happy that manny pacquiao (woohoo kababayan!) managed to bring honor to the country while our politicians and some stupid cannibalistic compatriot are putting us all to shame.

PACQUIAO defeats VELASQUEZ


so anyway, yeah i'm posting here what michael wrote (hope he doesn't mind) in his blog because his views are parallel with mine. oh, except for the last part because i am anti-gloria to the core. hee=)


it annoys me how relationships of the Philippines with other countries especially with singapore has been soured by the stupidity of filipinos themselves. i have been nationalistic all along, i know, but now i cant take how filipinos bring nothing to the world but shame. if not for people like patricia evangelista, the philippines would have been known as a place where cannibals, crazy and abnormal people live added to f*ckin terrorists.

HOW NARROW CAN THE VIEW OF NATIONALISM OF FILIPINOS BE? just to give a hindsight: the proposal of changing the education medium from english to filipino (in UP) is never a nationalistic move but a desperate way of propagating filipino which , known to everyone, is an non-universal language. if not for english, the philippines would never be known as at least a country of competent individuals. and it is uberly stupid to change the english medium just for the nationalistic cause. nationalism is never based on language alone. in this world of globalisation, let us just see where that wrong notion of nationalism would bring people. the only reason why the philippine economy is still thriving is because of english (ie OFWs know english). the reason why filipino scholars here in NUS enjoy access to the outside world is because of english a part from intellect itself.

rallying the streets of the business center, makati, is that of stupid nationalism. blocking the streets for an unified cause is a b*llshit thing to do. i am not being biased here. if there was a person against arroyo since the start, that must be me. i never liked her but i would never spend my time protesting for nothing. oh grow up. we can never get what we want just by marching down the streets of mendiola hurdling insults unfounded. while causes may be noble and just, the action itself is contrary. and what makes it even more frustrating is that fact that filipinos think they can claim anything trough their C+ knowledge of people power. while EDSA 1 was of real people revolution, today's protests are far from being just and sane. we cannot just go out and rally because our economy is deteriorating. much as we could not just blame any other country because of the misery we experience.

i hate how the philippines called singapore a merciless country. if there was one country as close to being immaculately merciful, that would be singapore. no one here faces prejudice or discrimination. everyone here lives a comfortable life because of the singapore government. singapore treats everyone fairly and justly. singapore is a place where multi races, multi clutures, multi languages exist. it is never just to burn down a singapore flag because we foolishly thought flor contemplacion was innocent. but did we hear anything from singapore? no. but what does it do? it gives $5 M education to filipinos with nothing in return. it hosts 100,000 OFWs who get weekly day-offs, Christmas vacations and TIGHT protection from the government. it hosts an array of filipino professionals who enjoy the same benefits as singaporean professionals.

if anyone thought singapore was merciless because of its strict laws and its harsh punishments, he must be close to being foolish. dont you think everything boils down to a better, more secure and comfortable singapore? before you judge, think first. how large is the crime rate difference of the philippines compared to singapore? how safe is it in singapore compared to the philippines? HOW DISCIPLINED ARE THE SINGAPOREANS COMPARED TO THE FILIPINOS? just how progressive is singapore?

it is unfair to think singapore is merciless because it put flor contemplacion to death penalty. singapore is not stupid to convict and hang just anyone. it's like how can the justice system of the philippines question the 99% efficient justice system of singapore. imagine, it only took 12 hours for singapore to jail the recent filipina murderer. if singapore can ultimately pinpoint a suspect in less than a day, how can it not identify a good sanction for a law offender. filipinos are biased into thinking singapore is far from mercy just because singapore had high considerations for its people. although i am against death penalty, i couldnt help but side with singapore in matters like this.

what now? another filipina murdered a fellow filipina and even dismembered her body parts. if she thought she could have escaped her f*ckin murder as she would have if she was in the philippines, ugh, she's crazy.

and again, i dont think it would be fair if filipinos would again rally and protest down the streets branding singapore as merciless if that filipina would be hanged. didnt the filipinos think of delia maga first and that singaporean boy before they fired their accussations? and wouldnt you filipinos feel for the family left by that chop-chop victim?

singapore is merciful and in its ideals come that other countries would think the same. it is really pathetic how filipinos' view of nationalism is as narrow. you see, there is more to nationalism than saving murderers who do nothing but increase the crime rate of the philippines and make the philippines less liveable. and again, i am against death penalty. but if that's justice then so be it.

and before you burn a singapore flag, think again. you may be fooling yourself into believeing you are not indirectly burning your own philippine flag in the process.

while filipinos would be this close-minded and un-nationalistic, i would definitely think about applying for permanent residency. it is frustrating how i want the philippines to rise, how arroyo may want the philippines to rise but the rest would just stupidly contradict everything.

why not sing, Glory, Glory Alleluia instead. and stop mocking the only better president right now.

stained glass.

i know i should be studying because i have a test on monday, and i even missed youth meeting just to study...but anyway, over dinner tonight, i've come across some gruesome scoops about death here and there.

yesterday when i read the online version of inquirer, i chanced upon a news article about a chop-chop murder case in singapore. IN SINGAPORE! things like this very rarely happen in singapore. i mean, i'm very complacent about my safety and security here. i feel safe even when i wander in the streets past midnight. i've always gotten this idea that singapore is a safe place. then here's a news article about a lady being severed to pieces and her body parts left in such a public place as orchard mrt station. i was terrified while reading the article. it seemed so unreal that such a macabre crime would take place in singapore. if it happened in the philippines i won't be surprised - we had this chop-chop lady whose life story and unspeakable demise was made into a movie.

so anyway, yesterday the newspapers still didn't have the details. but over dinner tonight joseph told us that the police have already arrested the murderer - a filipina maid. she is my compatriot. she is one of the people whom ninoy aquino thought was worth dying for.

and the chop chop lady - also turned out to be a filipina maid herself. what the *inferno* is going on here? *human excrement!* surely this would make the headlines in the straits times tomorrow, or maybe on monday. today it is on the front page- i've read the newspaper during my study break at hon sui sen library. then of course this development on the case would make even bigger waves in the media, considering the police have managed to apprehend the criminal AFTER ONLY ONE DAY! (ala-CSI!!)

the murderer would most likely be made to suffer the capital punishment, and that is death by being hanged. yes, a repeat performance of what happened to flor contemplacion ten years ago. (at that time i swore to myself i'll go to any country abroad except singapore, for fear of being hanged. i was just a kid then.)

again, the philippines will be made famous in singapore for the wrong reason. we will again be in a bad light. arroyo's been soiling our name in straits times (local newspaper) yes, but singaporeans won't even bother with it or with her because philippines is a place far away. but this chop-chop case is right here and is very real. it happened in singapore so people will begin to doubt their own safety.

that filipina murderer all put us to shame and she should be condemned for what she did. how can she stomach chopping her fellow maid into pieces? so maybe she got angry right, maybe she stabbed her first. then what made her angry to the limits that she should sever her fellow's body parts and dump them like that? how could anyone tell the victim's family back there in the philippines that hey, sorry, your daughter/sister/mother was chop-chopped by this wacko? and how to tell the family of the murderer that hey, sorry, your daughter/sister/mother just chop-chopped her fellow maid and justice calls her to be hanged to death? how to tell singaporeans that hey, sorry for this abominable thing that happened in your country brought about my fellow filipino, but we are not all slaughterers and sickos, really.

i relayed the news to sundeep then afterwards he was making as if i'm going to chop him to pieces and he's pretending to be very scared - just because i'm a filipino too. grr.

meh donner - im lovin it!

to get an idea of how english words are pronounced in singlish, this is a fun read. got this from talkingcock.com, singapore's premier satirical humour website.



How To Order So That The Auntie-Auntie Can Understand What The Hell You Want:

WHAT YOU WANT and HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT
McDonald's - Meh Donner
Big Mac Meal - Mee Mare Mew
Happy Meal - Hair Pee Mew
French Fries - Flench Fly
Filet O'Fish - Feese Burger
Mushroom Burger - Mus-sloom Burger
Chicken McNuggets - Meh Narget
Big Breakfast - Bee Blare Fers
Hot Cakes - Whore Cakes
Orange Juice - Or Leng Joo
Apple Pie - Apper Pai
Upsize - Up Sai


PS

singlish takes some time of getting used to. when i was still very new here i was grappling with it, and it took some time before i could respond when a singaporean talks to me. so sometimes i just pretend to understand and nod my head in agreement coz it's quite embarrassing to request a person to repeat more than twice what he/she just said. haha, but now i already got the hang of it and could communicate with them pretty well. they are a nice lot, by the way.

biased.

i ogle sundeep's nose too. and adding on to what michael said, people of indian ethnicity have the longest and most flirtatious eye lashes. hehe.=)

since right now i'm slacking like i can afford it, i shall have one more post for tonight. you can't blame me, i just had a quiz this morning, which means i've been stressed to madness prior to that. anyway, this is related to the race of love michael was talking about.

there was this instance during the early part of my summer holiday when mama, dimple, and i were in the car and dimple was telling me about the movie 'house of wax', starred by the infamous paris hilton, among others. dimple was raving about the movie, but she told me a part of it which she didn't like. she said paris' character's boyfriend was black (african-american most probably, sorry haven't watched the movie myself), and she was disgusted during their kissing scenes. i reckon that the idea of interracial relationships doesn't quite suit her. maybe i haven't yet made it clear to her that my boyfriend and i are well, something like that? (okay, i am not exactly white nor my boyfriend exactly black. i am more like yellow-brown, and he is like deep dark brown). i just kept quiet and let her carry on with the story. good thing my mother was with us, and maybe she noticed my silence and stoicism, so she came straight away to my rescue. she said something like "so what if her (paris' character's) boyfriend is black?". this is one of the reasons why i love my mother so much. she is very supportive of all my endeavours. hehe.

then there's also this family gathering and my aunt asked me whether i have a boyfriend in singapore. i said yes, and he is a mauritian. then she said "oh that's great. you can have foreign boyfriends so long as he is not indian."

slap me hard on the face, better. haha but actually, i didn't know what to tell her afterwards. he is a mauritian, it's his nationality yes- but he is of indian ethnicity. i don't think i reiterated that after hearing her line.

i was once like them - uncomfortable, or even grossed out, of the thought of having intimate relationships with people unlike me. it's good to experience being immersed in a multi-cultural, multi-racial, multi-religious, and multi-lingual society like singapore, and you get to expand your mindset on things. you get to understand and be more tolerant of people whose ways are totally different from yours, and at the end of the day, you get to understand that even though their outer appearance is totally different from yours, they too are human beings. and this thought will hit you hard on the face: we all bleed red anyway.

incoherent thoughts but don't care what.

sundeep just told me that he is now the official takraw captain for team KR in the inter-hall games. good for him. i remember last year, he asked people to come down and support KR during the takraw match. i decided to come, initially for two reasons: because he's my friend (just like when i go to a volleyball match if ivy's playing), and to show support to KR. when i arrived at MPSH # (dunno what number) where the games were being held, i was a bit surprised because there were very few people and i was the only female KR supporter! ok, rina was there, but that's because she's a member of sports management unit so she should be there. and the thing is, KR still wasn't playing at that time. i was deliberating whether to just skip the game and go home, or stay on and put up with the awkwardness i was feeling. turned out that i did a little bit of both. i went back to the hall to eat first and change my clothes, then returned to show my support.

about the clothes i was wearing that day. well, i purposely wore my favorite blue body-hugging sleeveless top. haha. i wanted to look good because i knew jimmy is also a takraw player. so here is what happened when i entered mpsh. i was carrying my bag and all my stuff because i just came straight from classes, walking slowly while scanning the hall for KR people. i was conscious with the way i walked, must be breast out stomach in, chin up but must look innocently sweet, because who knows who might be staring. turns out my efforts were not in vain. i don't know what jimmy thought when he saw me, but now i know at least one person appreciated my efforts of looking good that day. sundeep later on told me that his friend, also one of the takraw players, asked him who i was and showed interest in getting to know me better. haha. but he never did. maybe the next day i became ugly what, or reverted to my usual self.

sundeep also told me that this year, he's trying out for softball, because there's a chance he might not get into soccer IHG because of his knee injury. at first he really found it hard to accept that he won't be playing soccer as much as before, because it's his passion. everytime he logs on the internet he never fails to check out soccernet.com - i'd bet my life on this statement.

oh yeah, by the way, a while ago he was wearing the soccer shirt i gave him as a parting gift (?, coz we won't be seeing much of each other during summer break). that adidas shirt burned a hole in my pocket. remember i don't really buy branded clothes for myself? the two most expensive pieces of apparel i bought with my own money weren't for myself. they were for jenni and sundeep. yeah i don't know why i feel guilty if i spend so much for myself. maybe these people really are special what.

PS.

my english is deteriorating! now i'm prone to using shortcuts in conversations, such as "why you so angry?", and what is "what" doing at the end of my sentences? cannot stop it what! pardon my wrong grammers and miSpellings too.

oh yeah, when i was in 5th grade my teacher once said "nobody is ferfect." how true.

.

I AM TIRED.

my mind was wandering during my tutorial this morning

dear God, i still haven't forgiven myself from my life's greatest mistake. it was perfect, and i destroyed it. in doing so, i have forever deprived myself of one of my greatest joys. i was such a fool. this is something i must live with everyday. when will this torment end? it's funny how you can easily forgive me when i do you wrong given your immeasurable grace , but in this case it is myself whom i have erred, and i find it so hard to forgive myself even if it's already been a while. and i thought time heals all wounds?

here i am struggling to be fine, each day making the choice to be happy and trying to live the life on this path that i have chosen. on some days this works just fine, but on other days i am faced with the harsh realization that this is all pretense. help me carry this burden Lord, and don't forget that this thing i gave up had once been my reason for living.

life in a vacuum sucks

i'm feeling rotten. i don't know why. maybe because wayne is being selfish (or maybe not. maybe he has a good reason for not replying to my sms.)

or maybe i'm just homesick. i want to be with my family right now. i don't feel so good about myself.

but wonderful things happened today. ate cla is back=) we had some girl talk. fun stories. even more fun revelations.

i still feel rotten. i have a quiz tomorrow and on thursday.

ta-ta.

beautiful besties

farideh. my first ever best friend. we were in kinder 2 then. i remember having this dialogue with her:

me: sinong best friend mo?
farideh: ikaw. ikaw naman sinong best friend mo?
me: siyempre ikaw rin.

haha=) so cute. she was my special guest on my 7th birthday party. (oh, and my teacher ms. munasque too.) even as a kid she was already pretty. and now look, she's become even more pretty!



shirlyn. we became best friends when we were both in 5th grade. she was my constant ka-telebabad. i've never spoken to any other person on the phone for more than two hours but her. we used to walk around campus during recess time holding hands. we'd stalk our crushes together. i'd go to their house and her family would always make me feel welcome. she'd always treat me coz she had bigger allowance hehe=) she's a very sweet person and has a very contagious laugh. she used to be more chubby, but now look, dalaga na siya=)



coincidentally, both have the same color of top in the photos. same earrings too! and both had braces before these photos were taken. hehe=)

these were my girl besties. the rest guys.

time flies like the wind, but fruit flies like bananas

haha, i just remembered that six months and 23 hours ago, i was in sundeep's room struggling with MA1506 (Mathematics II). then, yah lor, that's where *click*, our friendship has gone to the next level haha. so funny. we don't celebrate monthsaries or stuff, but today i just remembered.

now when i read my archives and read my past posts about him, it's just funny because i never expected us to be together. he is NOT my type (he knows about my gargantuan crush on jimmy of A-block)and i am NOT his type either (his ex-crushes are so unlike me too). but as Nina's song goes, love moves in mysterious ways. haha.

absurd.

This is preposterous. This man is claiming to be the Son of God.


Last Sunday during the service, Pastor Butch warned us about a man from Davao claiming to be the Son of God. He warned us because the Son will be coming to Singapore and already booked the Singapore Indoor Stadium if I remember correctly. Pastor Butch didn't say his name, but I already had an idea of who this false prophet might be because I know of a very charismatic preacher who hails from Davao.

When I searched the net to confirm my inkling, I wasn't surprised to know that the person is in fact Pastor Apollo C. Quiboloy. It's scary you know. His is a familiar face because I get to watch him on tv before. However, I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying because I just dismissed him as another of those preachers who go on tv to preach just like those in 700 Club or Bro. Mike Velarde of El Shaddai. He was also featured in one of the late-night shows in ABS-CBN, and I remember my father commenting on how rich Quiboloy is right now because the show also featured his mansions and other assets.

Another scary thing is when you go to his website, which is quite impressive in my opinion. I mean, if you are a person who hungers for the Word of God but consults websites like this instead of the Bible, you'd be swayed to believe everything that he says because it seems that he really knows what he's talking about.

Before I was wondering whether this verse in the Bible is true or not:

"For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." -Mark 13:6

I mean, okay, I do not question God's word, but it seems unlikely to happen while I'm still alive. People nowadays are cynics. Like for me, if someone claims to be the Son of God, of course I'm not so stupid to believe. But this man is saying that there'd always be resistance, just as what Jesus experienced 2000 years ago. It was also reported that this person has a growing number of followers already. I've also seen on tv before the multitude of people attending his services.

Scary. So people beware.

long day.

today i had a very long, excruciating series of lectures. the morning session was from 9 am to 1 pm, but it seemed to go on forever. maybe our lecturers were oblivious that most of us, or at least me, was being tormented in silence. in addition to the fatigue of sleeping at 3 am lately, a barrage of technical details, sundeep and i had a petty fight that reduced me to tears even while one of the lectures was going on. i was so tempted to leave the lecture theatre and bawl my eyes out in my room where i could freely look like a big mess. i was silently crying so that even he, who was just beside me, won't notice. i just told myself to hold on just a few more seconds every time, and soon it'd be lunch break.

the moment did come, and i gave him an excuse about submitting my lab report first before joining them for lunch. i could have chosen to submit after lunch, but then i badly needed to go to the toilet first to cry once again and to fix myself.

surprisingly, i didn't look like i just cried after fixing myself up. i went straight to engin canteen and they still weren't there. i reserved a table for us, then sundeep came first. rotana had a group meeting, and siaw ling went to the toilet as usual. when there was only the two of us, we exchanged words like hell. i've never used the word 'hate' to describe what i felt for any person and telling him/her squarely in the face, until now that is. some excerpts:

i hate you so much right now.

then hate me for the rest of your life, better.

why are you so arrogant and insensitive?

what do you mean arrogant and insensitive?

never mind, you won't understand because you are so thick-skinned..

what? what'd u say about my skin?

nothing.

okay. you said too much today. that's it.

then when rotana and siaw ling came, we acted as if nothing was wrong. sundeep still managed to joke around. i feigned a happy, smiling face. they didn't suspect a thing about us fighting. it looked as if we were all talking with each other, but sundeep and i were avoiding each other's gazes.

but after lunch, sundeep and i went ahead of them because he had to go to the computer cluster first. he asked me if i wanted to come, and i said yes. while we were walking, apologies and appeasement were in the works. turns out he really didn't hear when i said thick-skinned. he thought i was mocking and insulting his skin color or what. i was shocked, then i asked him whether he thought i'd really say that. then he said yeah, and that i am capable of saying anything. sigh. that's how he finds me? i felt so bad. but then again, i did say some nasty things to him. he's the only one who's suffered the full venom of my tongue i think.

we still had maalej lecture after lunch, but after that no more, so we had the chance to aplogize to each other and make up. hehe=)

yahoo!