WHY?

this is my first time to view my blog using a PC here in my mother's office.



WHY IS MY LAYOUT LIKE THIS?

sunday happenings.

i've just finished reading two sidney sheldon novels, and it just made me yearn for more. before i left singapore for the summer holidays, i was reading A Stranger In The Mirror, which i didn't have time to finish because of my being homebound all of a sudden. it was all deja vu, because for the Christmas holidays last time, i was also reading a sidney sheldon novel that i also didn't get to finish before i went home. i thought it would all be so bitin again, but luckily my sister's good friend Doki is also a fan and has a sheldon collection, so i pleaded her to borrow books for me. when she got back from Manila, i quickly ransacked her luggage and there i found 4 sheldon novels waiting to be devoured by me. 2 down, 2 more to go. she also brought home 2 judith mcnaught novels, which i'm also keen on reading because ate joline is a fan. since my sister is only staying here for only a week, that doesn't give me much time to savor them all.

i got an email from my man, which i replied curtly with Here? NOTHING MUCH. see ya. a no-frills, noncommital reply, because that's what his email deserves. MEN.

a while ago, morai said goodbye. she only worked here for three weeks, more of like a summer job, because school will be starting soon. she's only 15 years old, just like cherry ann, who also went here for the summer. one day i was just surprised to see already 4 people working in our humble abode, and when it was just our family in the car mama joked that our home is turning into a bahay ampunan, but it's alright. pane, our loyal housekeeper who's been with us for already 8 years, explained that those kids opted to help around in our house because otherwise, they would be under the scorching heat of the sun toiling in their farms. so my youngest sister also got instant playmates for the summer.

earlier, we had lunch in a bukid. before we got there we had to pass through a labyrinth of broken branches, narrow dusty roads, and rocks from the dead river within the vicinity. lola co-owns the farm with her other siblings, and there we were met by farm people who were to attend a meeting to be officiated by lola. auntie jovie, lola's sister whom i haven't seen yet without make-up, was already there. and there i ate the bestest pork adobo alongside an army of flies, but it's ok because i was hungry, and acting maarte is something i find hard to forgive.

my battery is running low and everyone is going to bed.

bonne nuit.

P.S. i just want to thank God for the good life He's given me. i mean, we're not rich but our basic needs are met. we've had our share of the hard times, but all in all we live comfortably. I'm just being grateful.

miss talipapa 2005

right now we're watching miss USA 2005. during commercial breaks, mama switches channels to watch miss earth philippines, which is a FAR CRY to miss USA 2005. watching miss earth philippines evokes mixed emotions to everyone who watches: one wouldn't know whether to cry because it is such an embarrassment to Filipinos for showcasing such dumb and ugly mentally- and facially-challenged females; or to laugh because of an avalanche of comical attempts to sound every bit of a beauty queen but failing miserably.

yes i know i'm not beauty-queen material too, so who gave me the right to demean the miss earth philippines contenders?

anyway, my sister is already here! she's turning 18 on june 3 and she's growing to be such a bombshell, getting prettier and more voluptuous everyday. everywhere we go, people (guys and even girls) turn their heads to stare at her awesome, curvaceous body. a while back, i question God why i'm not as endowed as my sister...why in lieu of what lay men call 'boobs', i have in place two soft, round things that resemble female mammary glands, but are not quite. but over time, i've come to accept that each of us has unique gifts, only hers are more apparent.

mama switched to another channel and now gloria appears on tv donning her plastic smile, congratulating Filipinos for the highest growth rate on record. right.

hunk

Paolo Bediones: wholesome can be sexy too.


I was thrilled while i was watching a video clip of the fashion show where paolo bediones took part in. the show ended with paolo in a carter brief for about 3 seconds, leaving the crowd wanting for more. i didn't know paolo is hiding a fabulous body underneath the wholesome image he projects. the fashion show was his first, and i bet would not be his last.

AI,CSI,and Rivermaya!

carrie is the new american idol! but it would have been just as nice had bo won instead.

i'm here to profess my love for horatio!!! yes horatio of csi:miami! i love the show! i love axn for being the home of all csi shows. monday is for miami, tuesday for new york, and wednesday for las vegas! see, it's so easy to remember coz they come in alphabetical order haha. (OOPS, SO I GOT MY ALPHABET SCREWED UP!)

last monday's csi:miami was superb! speed was still in the show so it was already an old episode. it's special because csi:miami and csi:ny merged!

we're going to davao tomorrow for paolo's enrolment. papa and dimple are already there. the whole family's gonna be complete tomorrow!

and...

RIVERMAYA's having a concert in davao tomorrow! i'm pretty sure we're going! yey!=)

telebabad

i am watching darna right now. haha!

darn. i'm supposed to upload photos of darna, encantadia, and ikaw ang lahat sa akin when photobucket.com decided to have some site maintenance, thus disabling me to make use of its services.

anyway, i hate to admit it but darna and encantadia had actually been reasons of my homecoming. haha! i've been following darna ever since i got back, though not faithfully. ironically, i haven't been able to watch a full episode of encatadia yet. and that's because of ikaw ang lahat sa akin, starring john lloyd cruz and bea alonzo. woohoo! i've never missed an episode yet. haha! john lloyd is so jologs and he's damn funny.

beside me is my brother trying to salvage our ailing computer. his patience is quickly running out.

oh no. right now narda's heart is being torn into bits because the love of her life, efren, misunderstood her being with the character portrayed by cogie domingo. efren thought the reason narda broke up with him is because of this other guy, but he's actually dead wrong.

by the way, MY BROTHER GOT ABS!!! and muscles. because he goes jogging almost everyday at 4 am with our cousins, plays basketball, and carries weights.

earlier today i went out with my younger siblings to buy tela for my sister's uniform, polo shirts for my brother's uniform, and some school supplies. while we were choosing my brother's polo shirts, i was reminded of niel and his polo shirts. back in high school, when classes dismiss, he would take off his polo shirt and walk around in his white undershirt. then he'd play basketball. those were the days.

anyway, i better stop here coz i have to concentrate watching ikaw ang lahat sa akin!!!! so kiliiiiiiiiig!!

and the band played on

today i'm happy.

we went to church this morning and brother smiley-faced delivered a wonderful sermon with a touch of humor.

i realized that on most days, i always listen to satan's lies that make me doubt God's love for me.

mama requested me to make a video for my sister's 18th birthday. i need to have my creative juices flowing. (the video wayne made for his church is still in my hard disk so maybe i can get some ideas from it).

i got an email signed by 'u know hu'. it made me laugh out loud again. =)

Best Jeans Ad in the World

Bestfriend Profile v.1

How cute the photo right?




after 18 years... (more or less)





Nature Lover


He is one of the people I love most: Cyril.

Nothing. Just counting my blessings.

toothache

i just came from the dentist yesterday to have my braces adjusted. my dentist placed a coil of wire between two of my teeth to pry them apart. it hurts big time.


now i have a pink smile.


we have to go now.

bored v.2

note to self:


do minor in technopreneurship and Vacation Internship Program (VIP). cannot do industrial attachment if i also want to do a minor.


having nothing else to do, i decided to utilize this free internet access in my mother's office by planning about my future, no matter how bleak it seems right now.


if i want to do a minor in technopreneurship, i would have to take in at least 6 additional modules, some of which can be double-counted as unrestricted elective modules, but still would make the already-heavy semester schedule heavier.


next semester, if i am still allocated a slot in engin faculty, i'll be having 5 major modules (irregardless of which engin i am streamed in). plus one module for my minor. now, where to squeeze in 'fun' modules? where to squeeze in french, or einstein's theory and quantum weirdness? will i dare take in 7 modules in one sem? let's paraphrase that in two words. commit suicide?


anyway, everything will be alright.


everything will be beautiful in God's time.


yes, i am saying this not to convince you people, but to convince myself.


haiz. i sound so pessimistic.


tralalalalalalalala. happy day. happy day.


ok, so now i sound so sarcastic.


what is wrong with me? WHAT is wrong with me?

bored

ok. so i am extremely bored with my life right now.


yes i know i am so full of myself lately.


but this is my blog, what else should the topic be?


i know i shouldn't be comparing myself to other people, especially to my peers, because i will just end up disappointed with myself.


i am extremely bored. life is just a vicious cycle i want to get out of.

last post!

it's me once again!!!!


medyo wala akong time mag blog noh???


so anyway, i just want to say goodnight to people.


goodnight!


the other day i wished i was devoid of feelings.


i don't know. how exciting naman my life.


mwaaaacks!!!


**,

material girl

i don't like it when i'm being materialistic.


last night, i knew that if i sat in front of our ailing computer a second longer, all hell would break loose. in addition to wayne, the pc at home is another one of the instruments God uses to teach me about patience. i was supposed to use the computer to do stuff related to the new business my father is putting up when my patience was again tested by our pc. i was already in the brink of failing when i decided that instead of using my strength to overturn the monitor and hurl the cpu out of the front door, i just used every ounce of my strength to stand up, control my anger, and head straight to my parents' room to lie down and wait until i cool down again.


i was even more miffed because i only caught the last 10 minutes of CSI Miami. but i only got to watch it for a minute because mama switched to another channel. i'm not mad at her for doing that because the last 10 minutes of it will not do any good to satiate my csi craving anyway. actually i was so devastated i missed the show that i felt like crying. but a tiny voice told me to hold back my tears and grow up.


last night i was worrying about a lot of material things. i so wanted to have cash so that i could buy a new computer for my family's use. actually that pc is only two years old but i don't know why suddenly it possessed a processing speed similar to that of a slug on barbiturates. i was also wasting my time thinking about the one thing i left in singapore: CONVENIENCE. now don't get me started on how much more comfortable living in singapore is compared to here, because that would be the longest post in blogging history. ok i'm exaggerating, so what?


anyway, after much reflection, i realized that things aren't so bad after all. i am not about to spoil my whole summer vacation because of a stupid computer. my problems were reduced to quarks when i remembered that one of my friends is in a truly grim situation right now. there are a lot more things to be grateful for than otherwise.

=)

our helper told me about my elementary classmate's ate (big sister) being pregnant at such a young age, and how lucky she is to have such a guwapo (handsome)husband.


"Ang guwapo! Ang puti!", our helper gushed.


i come from a land where people with fair skin are given high regard. here, being fair-skinned will instantly catapult one to the highest levels of face value. oh well.


as for me, i've come to appreciate beauty unlike our helper's definition of it. i actually like staring at my boyfriend's exotic features. he has the looooooongest lashes in the world and a high-bridged nose so unlike mine. but when my brother asked me whether my boyfriend is guwapo or not, i answered in all honesty 'sometimes he is, sometimes he's not'.


for me, he looks his best when we eat. i don't know why, but it's just like that. whenever we have lunch at the engin canteen, or when we have supper at fong seng, or during the few times i eat breakfast with him at the dining hall in KR, i drool staring at his palatable symmetrical facial features.


but sometimes i don't like looking at him. like when he smiles too much. or when he's in a photo. he is not photogenic, just like me. i have yet to see a photo that fully captures his aesthetic value. photographs just don't do him justice.


he's no tom cruise, but he is beautiful in his own right. i miss the bloke who calls me princess.

=(

10 reasons why i hate the elf that's ruling my country:


Under President Arroyo, we have


(1) Become the most dangerous place in the world for journalists, worse even than Iraq;


(2) Become the second most corrupt country in the world, and the No. 1 in Asia;


(3) Reached the highest level of public debt (P4.08 trillion) and the biggest amount of foreign borrowing (more than Corazon Aquino, Fidel Ramos and Joseph Estrada combined);


(4) Become the new "shabu" (known elsewhere as "crack) manufacturing center of Asia;


(5) Achieved the highest unemployment rate (13.9 percent or five million unemployed) and the highest underemployment rate, including the collapse of the garment industry;


(6) Had the most expensive and fraudulent elections;


(7) Had the biggest number of poor, from 32 percent under President Joseph Estrada to 47 percent under President Arroyo;


(8) Had the highest price of oil products ever (P33 per liter);


(9) Had the highest dollar-peso exchange rate (P56 to $1);


(10) Had the biggest number of casinos and gambling establishments.


got the facts from conrado de quiros' article There's The Rub : Sheriff of Nottingham

update!

i am here in mama's office. why? two words: free internet. haha=)


so, last night i got online to check my mail, though i was being a bit pessimistic of getting any email from him. but surprise, surprise, there was an email with a subject title 'princess' and it made me so damn happy.


so anyway, quoting the first three lines of my darling:


hi my little princess
How are you doing?
Your country is making any progress or not?



hahaha. whatever.


i told him my country is a lot better now coz i'm in it. i also bragged about how tired i am from entertaining the growing queue of guys ever since i got back here. haha.


of course i'm only kidding.


anyway, mama and papa were so surprised when we visited the newly renovated brod louie's bar (my tito's bar: pool, ktv, beer, stuff) and i sang CRUISIN with a dj. my tita was supposed to do the duet with him but she wasn't very familiar with the song. she told me to stand by her side and sing with her so she'll be guided with the right tune, but after singing the first two lines of her part she gave me the mike and i ended up singing the whole song with the dj. i also surprised myself by having the guts to sing in front of our relatives. mama was like:


"ABA! KUMAKANTA NA SIYA!!!"


my father, aunts and uncles were also staring at me wide-eyed but i didn't mind them. i was so caught up singing the song because it's actually one of my favorites.


so, what else? um, nothing much actually.

when it's time for me to get married, i'm going to choose someone who's a lot like my father. really really. i know i could potentially be so stubborn and emotional, so i will be needing someone who's going to be patient with me and will still love me inspite of me. i hope my mother knows how blessed she is for having papa.

right now i am downloading a trial version of adobe photoshop for mac. yey! only 11 hours and 54 minutes left.

i want to blog but i have nothing to write about. actually i've been saving some blogworthy events in my mind but now it seems that they'll just end up rotting there.


oh and by the way, i didn't bring home any of my clothes. actually i brought a grand total of two shirts and a pair of cuffed jeans, apart from the clothes i wore while travelling. this time i took my parents' advice of travelling light so seriously.


i didn't even have any luggage to check in. i just hand carried a fujitsu laptop bag i stole took from the A block lounge thrown away by its original owner, and a green plastic bag. i made sure to bring home my laptop and my bikini that makes me look so damn hot according to .


maybe this is also a strategy to ensure that i will be having new clothes for next semester.

what? not even a single email from him? grrr.

and to think i've been thinking about him every nanosecond ever since he went back to mauritius and upto this moment. i was so giddy just now to be able to be online once again and to be able to check my mail. then, nada. nil. nothing.

FINE.

i think this is really nice:


Malachi 3:3


Malachi 3:3 - "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."


This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.


That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.


As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says:


"He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."


She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.


The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"


He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."


If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Thank you arthur, karen, jeunesse, and gelo for letting me store my stuff in your respective rooms. i know i caused a lot of inconvenience but i really don't have any other place to store my stuff. thanks thanks, you all are really appreciated.


Thank you wayne and joseph for helping me transfer my things. Yes i know my things were heavy. Thanks thanks.


Sundeep didn't catch me in msn a while ago. He sent me a message but i was away. what a bummer.


I don't like this feeling of missing people so much that it hurts. Anyway I'm going home and wishing for a fantastic and fruitful summer.

haha! he'sonline! ciao!

ok, last post!


colin, this french-canadian guy, sat next to me in the computer cluster here in HSS library. i found out he's going home today.


then when he was about to go, he said "ok, see you later. take care!"


SEE YOU LATER? he's an exchange student and he's going back to his country today. his 'later' most probably means 'after ten years', or only God knows when.


he's one of the nicest, friendliest people i know. he and sundeep speak French, but he (Colin) would always speak in English with him (Sundeep) whenever I'm around, especially when he's (Colin) the one initiating the conversation. I regret not saying my goodbye properly. I hope he'll have a nice trip.

i am in hon sui sen library right now and i just viewed my blog using a PC.


MY POSTS LOOK SO CROWDED!!! i found out i have to press the enter key three times so that a space would appear in between paragraphs, if my blog is to be viewed using internet explorer or any Windows-operated computer.


i should put a disclaimer that my whole blog is best viewed using Safari (a web browser designed for Apple computers).


EVEN THE COLORS ARE A BIT DIFFERENT!


maybe i can fix that someday but not today.

hey goodbye people.

maybeline, thanks for helping me find a job, really appreciate it, but i won't push through anymore.

chin, thanks for always sending me sms. haha! dunno what to reply though coz ur my only source of forwarded sms, then i can't just send back to u stuff u sent me right? haha=)

to my wyldfire youth, sorry for not making a proper exit! yep i'm suddenly homebound and i won't be seeing you guys again til maybe august. im going to miss everyone of you!

i dunno where to put all my stuff!!!

today i got a bit sad. i received an email from mommy (my grandmother), then she mentioned that i have to make sure that my current boyfriend is also a Christian or else "forget about the relationship".

easier said than done.

yes he is not a Christian.

and he also told me his own parents would also look at 'that religion thing', because our religions are different. evrything about us is different. he is from another hemisphere, from another continent, from another country, of a different race, of a different religion, of a different color, of a different upbringing..blah blah.

anyway i don't have time to bother about that right now because i'm in a frenzy and i have to think clearly.

i'll be home in two days so i have to iron things out before i leave!!!

wah lau!!!!

surprise surprise! I AM GOING HOME! yep, it's all so sudden. i just realized i change my mind faster than i change my underwear.

i haven't even bought a ticket home yet. i don't know where to put all the stuff that people stored in my room, let alone my own things.

i couldn't argue with papa over the phone why i should stay here. i was telling him that if i go home, i wouldn't be able to bring home any pasalubong. i will be broke. then he told me they didn't care about pasalubongs. what's important is that we will be together. he even told me that my siblings are excited to see me. and it's also my sister's 18th birthday! i also realized, since when did i start giving more importance to money than spending time with my family? then i also told him about my commitments here for the summer. but then i also realized, since when did other people matter more to me than my own family?

aiyo...AND TO THINK, RIGHT AFTER THE EXAMS I WENT JOB HUNTING RIGHT AWAY! i still am sleep-deprived even when my finals were already over!

i've eaten my words once again. ouch, my pride too. i don't want to go home broke. but never mind. being with my family is priceless.

so now i will have to return the money i loaned from people because i won't be needing it for hall vacation stay.

ok have to pack now!

oh dear. i need to get busy.

i feel...alone.

i didn't anticipate that i'd be missing him so much so fast. maybe i just took him for granted because he was always here. now he's miles away. my family too is miles away. i even miss ivy.

why do i want to work again?

oh God please don't let me die of loneliness.

he's leaving.

*sobs*

ok, so maybe this is what i have been thinking all along.

Lord, kaya ko na tong paghahanap ng trabaho. Ako na. Ayusin mo na lang ang grades ko.

After my finals, i have been probably placing God at the backseat of my life because i think i can already do this without Him. ok, so now I realize I cannot. I need Him in everything that I do, even in the most littlest things. Maybe i've been too proud.


But seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. WEB
Matthew 6:33

weeks ago, i woke up with wounds on both the left and right sides of my tongue. either i bit my tongue while sleeping or it's those damn metallic parts of my braces on my molars slicing my tongue again. the left side healed already but the right side is making me go nuts. it hurts a lot and it bothers me whenever i eat and talk.

i want to minimize my talking so please bear with me if i just keep quiet. it doesn't mean i'm pissed WITH YOU. i'm just pissed, period.

no, everything is not fine at the moment. but when someone asks, i'll just probably utter my default reply 'i'm ok' even when i'm really not.

tonight, i am so tired, frustrated, and i feel ugly because i look haggard. i've been going around singapore looking for a job again, this time with joseph and ferron. countless rejections, but some gave us hope.

anyway, it's mother's day today. happy mother's day to all mothers especially to my very own.

my sister sms-ed me and requested me to go home because it's her 'debut' also. she told me defer my 'tipid' mode next time. i admit, i haven't taken into account her 18th birthday while i was planning my summer holidays at the start of the year. even then i knew i won't be going home because i was determined to work to earn extra cash. and because of the fact that i'm not going home, i've said yes to some commitments already, such as rr and rochelle's debut on may 29 and being a full-time councilor in KR's freshmen welcome orientation camp in late july. i already gave them my word and it's hard to take it back.

now i still haven't found a job, still haven't practiced for the modern dance for the debut, still keeps on missing youth meetings, still screwing up despite the efforts of trying to have a direction in life by trying to have a fruitful summer.

the honest answer to why i am looking for a job is the $$$. i want to buy things. i want to buy things for myself, for my siblings, and for my parents. i want to be able to treat my family to dinner by using my own UOB visa debit card. i want to show my parents that i can stand up on my own, that i have grown independent. i want them to be proud of me for taking the courage to go out of my comfort zone and try how it is like in the real world where your wants aren't served in a silver platter. i could have just went home with ivy with what's left of my allowance for the recently concluded semester, but no. i will be using that money for my hall vacation stay instead, supplemented by what i loaned from kuya pheng and from my tito aldwin. so right now i am so broke. but that's life. i have to be broke first before i can earn money.

this is the most thick-faced i've ever been in my whole life, learning to talk to people of different shapes, sizes, and colors and asking them the same thing: a job. i think i'm so into this whole thing already that i have reached the point of no return. though a while ago after reading my sister's sms, it crossed my mind to just give up and go home, relax, and enjoy my summer holidays watching tv, movies, and bumming around at home because there we have our house helpers to do stuff i do for myself here. but sooner or later i would still have to face the 'real world' again, and i've already decided to make this summer as a training ground so i'll be prepared.

but last night i cried. i cried because i suddenly missed my family.

and tonight i cried. i cried because i will be missing sundeep. yes i will be missing that bloke because he's flying home to mauritius later. whenever i am stressed he gives me a big bear hug that drowns my blues away. suddenly it just dawned on me that it will be quite a while until he will be able to that again. there will be no one to greet me in KR when i come back from work or from wherever. he will be away for 3 months and that is even longer than we've been together so far. i was trying to shrug those freaking tears away by always looking up so they won't cascade down my cheeks, but they are just too stubborn and even made a well out of my eyes.

i miss my family. i miss sundeep even though right now he's still only a few blocks away from where i'm typing this post.

my summer is starting to get less sunshiney day by day.

i replied to the email. i told him to invite us to his wedding if there's one any time soon. haha. FC!!

haha i just remembered why i chose this whole paul frank thing as template.

his favorite shirt (read: what he always, always wore before) was a paul frank 'punk friend' one.

Dear all,

Tong ni here.. just like to post a greeting to u all.

Like to wish u all a happy holidays.

Takecare.

^_^

he still remembers us. will i reply again? last time i was the only one who replied to his greetings, i think. i was so obvious already even then. but if i don't, he may think that he's been sending emails to ungrateful students. actually i'm really grateful he still bothers to spend a few minutes to send us even a 5-line email. i wish him all the best in life.

mama sms-ed me just now to tell me that i am not allowed to work in any pub/bar/disco (she's still awake?!). i'd like to make it clear that i am not trying to land a job as a Guest Relations Officer(GRO) nor am i trying to sell my flesh to fulfill anyone's carnal desires. i just want to be a waitress, period. but anyway, since i know mama only thinks of what's best for me...*any job in clark quay or boat quay or any pub/disco/bar slated off my list*.

to the lovely, lovely people who contribute to my message board, i don't know what's wrong that i can't tag on my own shoutbox when i'm using my own laptop, which makes me unable to reply to ur messages. but i really appreciate it when somebody leaves a message=)please don't think that i am deliberately ignoring you lovely people.

my reply to the most recent ones:

mama, thank you. napa smile mo ako pag read ko nun. mwaaaah! i love you!
maybeline, thanks for helping me look for a job.
paolo, may blog ka na ba? diba gumawa ka? anong url?
joseph, actually, ikaw bitaw yun. hahahahahhaahhahaha mas chika!

ok, so john of yoshinoya just called back. weee! but still, they're not yet 100% sure of hiring me. he just called to confirm some details and gave some info he said i should know. they kept on asking whether i could work even after the school holidays, but i don't plan to work when school commences again. but i don't think they get it even though i've explicitely stated that i'm only applying for the holiday period. or have i?

=)

he treats me like a princess and i hope this won't ever get to my head.

really, really. during the last few days before he goes home, he has been showering me with lots of attention and pretty, pretty things. the two major gifts he gave me (what's the occassion by the way?) were a pretty bracelet and a pretty ring not fit for everyday wear. he didn't have to give me those things, and i wasn't expecting them either. he told me he bought me some gifts, but i wasn't expecting anything so nice. when i told him that, he asked me 'what, you think i'm lousy?'. i thought our 'relationship' is tantamount to being 'friends with (lots of) benefits', but what more can he do to show me that he is indeed serious?

one time we were together he told me 'this is the best moment of my life'. he then asked me what the best moment of my life is. i was like "uh..." and never gave a concrete answer.

he always calls me 'my little darling/my little princess/my little love', which evolved from 'little girl' he used to call me when we were still plain friends. i call him 'man'. how uncreative can i get? yep i did away with chox coz i don't find it comfortable calling him that.

yes i do love him to some extent, but it is just now that i'm taking seriously what my mother and grandmother advised me not too long ago, and that is not to take so seriously my would-be relationship with whoever guy, unless of course we're talking about marriage (AND which is way, way down my to-do list as of the moment). and anyway, i was happily being single when he decided to cross the line beyond our friendship, and i wasn't really looking for someone. he told me to just try it out and see if it works, and maybe because i wanted to experiment a bit too, so there. instant couple. we're not even sure if we got together on the 1st or 2nd of march. we don't celebrate monthsaries or that sort of stuff anyway, and surprisingly, it's perfectly fine with me.

anyway, today we went to sentosa. woohoo, even though i would soon realize that i only have $7 on my wallet. we rode the cable car to get there. when we reached the place, we walked a bit to plan out the activities for the day and to decide what to do. when he learned i haven't been to underwater world, i followed his lead to the counter to buy us tickets. he had already been there but still he treated me. yey! so we marveled at the different sea creatures including sharks and piranhas and weird looking crustaceans. i also found nemo.

after that we were already so hungry and decided to eat, pronto. but all the food establishments were making monkeys out of us. $7.20 for chicken rice? chicken rice is like the cheapest food you can buy in singapore, from $1.80 onwards. $7.20 is a big joke. we ended up buying our lunch at 711. i bought my own lunch, syempre may hiya rin ako, and i treated him a giant slurpee, thus exhausting all the 7 bucks i got. after lunch we went to the southernmost point of asia continent because he hasn't been there yet, and also to kill time until a few minutes before 1:30pm.

then we went to dolphin lagoon. PINK DOLPHINS!!! he told me not to expect too much as he did before, so that i also won't feel disappointed. ok, thanks for the warning. but anyway i enjoyed the show coz the dolphins were really smart, and because they are pink. haha. i even went in front when they asked for volunteers to interact with the dolphins, but the host already found enough people. sayang. then, upon seeing the twinkle in my eyes disappear when i didn't get the chance to see the dolphins up close, he offered to treat me again to have an interaction session with the dolphins. i declined because i don't want him to unecessarily burn his money again.

after dolphin lagoon we went to rent a double-seater bike. at first i was the one in front, but yeah, cannot make it. haha. we kept on almost falling off because i cannot carry both our weights and keep our balance. so switched places and he took control (as should be in the first place), and whoa. what a contrast. finally we were riding smoothly and happily. then it rained. suddenly i heard regine velasquez singing Pagmasdan ang ulan unti-unting pumapatak/Sa mga halama't mga bulaklak...and felt like we were doing an MTV for that song. haha whatever. we rode along the stretch of the beaches, then to the narrow jungle trail, which looked a bit scary such that a lion might pounce on us any minute. when we reached the Challenge Trail, i told him that we should go back because i've tried that trail before and it lives up to its name. so we turned the bike around and headed back. we almost ran over a komodo dragon-ish black creature, and that is when we got a bit afraid and sped towards the entrance of the jungle trail. who knows what kind of other creatures were hiding beneath those bushes, or what might fall off on trees or what. when we reached the entrance, i've never been so happy to see civilization once again.

it was still raining, but we still decided to go for a swim. i changed to my beach babe attire, but ended up wearing it only for a few minutes. we only spent a grand total of 3 minutes and 48 seconds in the water because the life guard on duty gave warning signals when we swam towards the buoy that divides the 'safe' part of the sea and the open water. it's either he was telling us not to swim beyond that, or not swim altogether because there's thunder and lightning and we might get fried on the spot.

so we swam back to shore and rested a bit on the benches, dressed up, and boarded a freezer on wheels they call the bus to get back to the cable car station. there we found out that we still could actually ride even until mount faber and back to harbourfront. i was ecstatic!

then we rode bus 143 to go back to KR, packed my dinner, while he's off to have dinner with friends. yey. so there. another fascinating day.

job hunting v.1

warning: long post. here is a blow-by-blow account of what transpired today.

today, sundeep and i were supposed to go to the orchid garden, which i didn't know existed in Singapore botanical gardens, for some bodning time before he flies off to mauritius on sunday. we were supposed to meet at 1:30pm. by 'meet', what i had in mind was the two of us already bathed and dressed and ready to go. i found out that his 'meet' was indeed just to see each other as he was still fiddling with his newly bought 5 mega-pixel, 8x-optical zoom, 4x digital zoom konica minolta digital camera when i knocked on his door. upon seeing him still wearing what he had worn the night before, i told him i'll go do something else first while he gets ready. so i left, went back to the hall lobby to return the temporary room access card since i already found my matric card, and read today's paper. ok, i flipped through the classified ads right away to hunt for possible summer jobs.

right then and there i phoned Tanglin Club to inquire about the waitress position.

Korinna: Hello good afternoon, I found an ad in the paper about a job position for waitress, do you accept students?
Lady: No.
Korinna: Oh ok, thank you.

another waitress job, this time in a pub and disco in cairnhill place.

Korinna:Hello good afternoon, I found an ad in the paper about a job vacancy for waitress, do you accept students on vacation?
Man: Students on what?
Korinna: Students on vacation..
Man: uh-hum. poly student issit?
Korinna: uh no, NUS
Man: uh-hum. uh-hum. just come for the walk-in interview.
Korinna: ok thank you

whee! then i found another ad, another waitress position in raffles town club. no phone number so i didn't call, but i took note of the details as im also hgoing for the walk-in interview. the other ads specified they only wanted singaporeans or permanent residents (PR), or they didn't want students, or only malays are welcome to apply, or that one qualification is to be bilingual (english and mandarin), so i didn't bother with them anymore.

when i felt i've done enough job hunting on the classified ads, i went back to sundeep's room to chck whether we'll be going in 5 minutes or in 10 years. when i opened the door, LO AND BEHOLD! a sense of deja vu rushed through my veins as i saw him fiddling with his digicam in the same position as i saw him minutes ago, and still wearing the same clothes. so i sweetly told him if he's too tired to go, it's ok, since i also felt a sudden sense of urgency and determination to go look for a job today. he said he was about to go and get dressed when i barged in, but if i really want to go job hunting then it's ok. so off i went. *sweet nothings deleted*

before i went out, i passed by joseph's room first to see if i can drag him along with me. cannot, the OC and american idol more important. haha kidding. i understand, really. i also just practically popped out of nowhere so it is understandable that it is not in his itinerary to go job hunting today. before going back to my room to change my orchid garden outfit to a job interview one, i bought milo from the vendo machine first to 'energize my day', as i haven't eaten any meal yet.

i had to make sure that i look presentable. go figure.

first stop was raffles town club. gee, i didn't expect it to exude such a retro-ish, elegant, classical appeal that made me want to wish i'd get the job so i could be there everyday. but as it turns out, they didn't want any foreigners. *raffles town club slated off my list.*

next was the pub and disco in cairnhill road. according to streetdirectory.com, i should board bus 186 from whitley road bus stop to get to balestier road, walk a few meters to the bus stop opposite thomson medical centre, then board bus 143 to get to tang plaza in orchard road, and finally walk a few meters to cainhill road. it should be noted that at this time of the year, singapore is turning into an aesthetically-enhanced oven whereby one would always feel stuffy and sticky and sweaty. i was patiently waiting for bus 186 while enduring the humidity, beads of sweat trickling down my face. i thought i didn't have a facial tissue with me, but alas i found one inside my bag. so as i was wiping my sweat and saying hello to my reflection in my pink pocket mirror, bus 186 came and went...without me in it. geez, i missed the bus. so i waited and waited again until the seed accidently thrown on the patch of soil near the pavement turned into a full-grown sequoia tree.

finally i was able to board another bus 186. according to streetdirectory.com, i should alight at the fifth bus stop. and i did. ok,maybe it was the sixth one, coz i cannot find thomson medical centre anywhere in the vicinity. so i backtracked one bus stop. two bus stops. three bus stops. then a fork in the road. the fourth one, the bus stop opposite thomson medical centre wasn't in the route of bus 186, and it wasn't anywhere NEAR the fifth bus stop from where i boarded bus 186. good thing it was just in front of 711 so i was able to buy myslef a slurpee to quench my dehydrated throat.

i boarded bus 143 and alighted prematurely. so i had to walk to tang plaza...again. but people, people....the highlight of my day comes here. as i was briskly walking along scotts road...

LADY: hey excuse me, sorry for disturbing you...
Korinna:( kept on walking and thinks 'oh no, she's gonna ask me some survey questions').
LADY: are you with any modelling agency right now?
Korinna:(stopped dead on her tracks. DUH? ME? lady you got my attention now alright.)

ok, so i forgot the rest of our dialogue because i was utterly disoriented. i remember spelling out my name as she was writing it in her notepad, and then giving her my contact number. than she gave me a calling card, and told me she'll call me. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. yeah right.

but still, woooo hooooo! someone in singapore thinks i can be a model. that's enough to brighten up my day and to make me think that this trip outside campus is worth the trouble.

so all the way to cairnhill place, i was smiling. when i saw the building, my smile faded. it was a boring building made up of square tiles. and the pub&disco sign was dirty too. working there might be full of occupational hazards so i didn't proceed anymore.

anyway i was really determined to find a job, so i retraced my steps and went inside marriot hotel. maybe they have any job vacancy for foreign students. the person behind the concierge counter was a nice burly man, and he regretted to tell me that the HR department handling such qeuries is already closed. when i checked my watch, yep, already 6 pm. so off i went.

the grand hyatt hotel is also just somewhere the vicinity so i wanted to go there too. before reaching there, i passed by this posh mall (i forgot what), and entered to let my eyes feast on all the cosmetics i'll be helping to make in the future. and plainly because i'm a girl so i am lured towards those pretty things i cannot afford. anyway, when i entered the mall, the scent reminded me of mama, as they were also selling perfumes along with cosmetics. then i was suddenly missing her.

when i reached the grand hyatt hotel, i held my head up high and walked casually inside, like i really have a business in there. i knew i also didn't look out of place by the clothes i wore, i made sure of that. so anyway, i went straight to the toilet. haha! i couldn't find the reception area right away and i didn't want to look lost, so i just pretended i knew where i was going and the path i took ended on their posh lobby toilet. after that, i just went to the bellboy counter and told them the same lines i've been uttering for the upteenth time today. as expected, they didn't have any concrete details to give me coz their HR department is also already closed.

my feet were already very tired, but i wanted to check out clark quay first. maybe i can find a job in the pubs there. so i rode the mrt and walked leisurely along the riverside. i was also able to take a closer look on the singapore bungy, which i'm planning to ride one of these days. i walked the whole stretch of clark quay and back, and i found the place to be fun, fun, fun! maybe because i like colors a lot and the place is, well, colorful. yeah yeah i know, working in pubs may have a lot of occupational hazards as what karen said, but that's where the big bucks are and big bucks are what i need. and that's why i also have to make sure that if ever i'm working in clark quay or anywhere that requires night shift, i'll be with joseph and/or ferron, or nothing. i didn't approach any bar owners to inquire because joseph and ferron were not with me. and because i looked out of place.

finally i went to harbourfront. i went inside the mall and passed by yoshinoya. joseph is keen on working in yoshinoya because of the free japanese food. hehe=) anyway, they seem to lack people. i went inside thick-faced, ready to talk to the lady who seems to be the manager. it turns out that there's actually a poster inside advertising for full-time/ part-time crew. it gave me more confidence to ask for a job. i was asked to fill out a form, and then the real manager (who turned out to be a guy) interviewed me. he just confirmed what i had written in the form, told me about the salary range (3.5-3.8 bucks an hour for starters, *enthusiasm level declined*), and some small talk. he's actually a nice person. everything went well, except that i am holding a student's pass, which is a critical factor since it is explicitely stated that the holder should not be engaged in any form of employment for the whole duration of his/her stay unless with consent from this certain government agency. so for yoshinoya, if they were to hire me, they would have to do some paperworks too. just like the other establishments that rejected me for being a foreign student with a student's pass. anyway, for being the nice person that he is, he is going to forward my application form to their office. and if they call back next week, good. if not, he's very sorry.

so there. finally i went back to my hall, packed my dinner, and blogged my fascinating day.

tomorrow would be another fun day, coz the beach babe and her guy with army haircut are going to sentosa!

YAHOO!

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!!

*korinna does acrobatic stunts while blogging*

thank you Jesus for carrying me throughout. woo hoo! now i am able to spell F-U-N once again. haha!

p.s
yahoo mail goes 1 GB!

Psalm 102
A prayer of an afflicted man. When he is faint and pours out his lament before the LORD.

1 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
let my cry for help come to you.

2 Do not hide your face from me
when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.

3 For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn like glowing embers.

4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass;
I forget to eat my food.

5 Because of my loud groaning
I am reduced to skin and bones.

6 I am like a desert owl,
like an owl among the ruins.

7 I lie awake; I have become
like a bird alone on a roof.

.
.
.

THE MOST BORING SUBJECT I HAVE IS CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PRINCIPLES, WHICH IS SUPPOSEDLY GOING TO BE MY MAJOR IF I GET ACCEPTED IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING.

HOW TO STUDY FOR THE FINALS WHEN I COLLAPSE EVERYTIME I READ MY NOTES DUE TO DISINTEREST ON THE SUBJECT?

I AM LOST. NO DIRECTION IN LIFE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT KORINNA? WHAT?

God, are you listening? Are you tired of my whining? coz i am tired of myself. i know you're there...but really, sometimes i can't help but feel like i'm a failure.