tired and frustrated and dunno what else

because

because

just because.

good news galore

I feel so blessed today. Don't know what I'll share first. Haha okay, in chronological order.

Last night, I checked my Friendster account and received a message from my elementary school best friend, Shirlyn. She wrote:

hi... musta na? i know it's kinda late for this but hey, as the saying goes, it's better late than never. hehehe. i just wanna say sorry for not keeping in touch... i know it's been years since we talked... well, i just missed you... i miss my best friend. hope we'll be able to keep in touch again. =)


Then a warm, fuzzy feeling enveloped me. It's very touching when someone remembers you di ba? If I'm not mistaken, it's six years already since we've drifted apart. I went to another city to study while she furthered her studies in the same school where we both attended elementary. We used to be seatmates, and during our 20-minute recess time we'd even hold hands and walk around the campus following TJ (who is two years our senior and was very hot indeed). I'd go to their house and her whole family would always make me feel welcome.

The first few months I'd been away, we wrote each other letters...until there came a point where there's been so many new things going on with our respective lives that we can't really relate to each other anymore, so we eventually drifted apart. It's sad but that's life. But now, another reason to thank Friendster. Haha!

Second great news, I already have my salary. WHOOPINESS! But it's only for the first 5 days I've worked, because the cutoff is every 15th of the month. That means I came to work 5 working days before the cutoff, so for the rest of my salary for working til the 15th of next month, I'll get in the end of next month. NEXT MONTH!Anyway, I've been waiting forever for my money to come because I've been itching to start this internet business. I've heard that it takes a lot of work (especially for buffoons like me), but I'd really devote a substantial amount of time to learn this stuff because the rewards will be great also if you don't give up so easily. I've figured that the internet is not just a fad, it's already a staple part of my daily life and it's not going away anytime soon, so I have to keep up with the times in this competitive world we live in.

And last but not the least...

I AM GOING TO INDONESIA! FOR FREE!

Nope, not for a vacation. A golden opportunity had been thrown at my feet and I grabbed it right away. The NTU Muslim Society is inviting three non-Muslim AISECERS (AIESEC is my CCA here in NUS) to go to Banda Aceh, Indonesia - one of the places severely devastated by the terror that is the 2004 tsunami. We're going to be attached to two orphanages, and this community project is aiming to reconstruct the lives of these children and giving us volunteers the chance to make a difference.

Of course, my parents were very hesitant to allow me to go at first, because they said it's very chaotic and stuff. I would have understood them if they didn't allow me to go. I sms-ed Dei, the AIESEC NTU President about this matter, and asked him if Aceh is really as bad as portrayed by the media. He sent me an email which I forwarded to my parents, and they agreed eventually. I'll be there from 18th June to 2nd July, so I can still attend the Youth Day of course. =)

It's funny, because just yesterday when I read about the hellhole that Indonesia is in, what with the earthquake that killed about 5000 people being the lastest in its series of unfortunate events, I told myself that at the moment, Indonesia is a place where I won't want to be in. But later that night, I received an email about going there to visit the tsunami site and play with the orphans, and I replied stating my interest without thinking twice about it.

Maybe God has a greater plan for all of this. I pray that I'll be safe (as well as everyone on our team), so that my parents won't worry so much when I'm there. And I'm looking forward to be with my family in July.

Tis another happening summer=)

Lard-az spoke

LIKE WE ARE INTERESTED IN STEALING THEIR STUFF.

Dear Wyldfires and Everyone Else part 2

To my Wyldfire dearies who gave me feedback about the first draft of the promo material , thanks so much=)

Anyway I made some changes regarding the WIN THE NXT stamp, because Bro Nolly commented that those words should stand out. Ivy also suggested to make the stamp bigger, but right now I don't have the means to edit the whole stamp properly because Rohit gave it to me as a picture file already. I don't know how to make the round stamp effect using Fireworks (the one I'm using, Rohit used Photoshop), so I just recreated it and emphasized the words by coloring it red. Hope it works though. I also added impt info like date, time, and place..but I'm not sure if this is what we'll be using for the actual poster.

And I hope that the figures aren't as plump as before.=p

I don't have the blog banners/buttons yet...hee my vain self took over a while ago and fixed some of my photos instead. (You know, again making as if I have long hair.)

I also don't have the go signal of the elders yet as to whether we could use the promo materials already.

Anyway, here it is. I need your comments again...like if it's better than the previous one or not, if the background is overdone.. anything will be much appreciated.



PS Paging BONATS. Please comment also. Be brutally honest. You're the only one who could say I am flat-chested and stick-o without me batting an eyelash. (Ya I still remember highschool!) hehe=)

MRT Lurve..

A while ago while waiting for the train at Outram Park Interchange, there were these two lovers who were apparently having an LQ (lovers' quarrel).

Girl: What the f*** is your problem now?

Guy: (spoke irritably in let-me-guess, Hindi language?)

Girl: (answered nonchalantly in the same language)

Guy: (gave a really disgusted face while blabbering, then decides to walk away)

Girl: So now you're walking away like that?

Guy: (stops dead on his tracks and continues to fume)

And while this tussling twosome continued their drama, I was facing the tinted glass and fixing the remnants of my once flowing black hair.

Train arrives. Hallelujah.

Girl walked towards opposite door of the train entrance, and Guy stayed by the entrance. I stayed at the middle pole. They were facing opposite directions, while in my head I was singing my theme song for them:

Hindi ka ba napapagod/O di kaya'y nagsasawa/Sa ating mga tampuhang/Walang hanggang katapusan/Napahid nang mga luha/Damdamin at puso'y tigang/ Wala nang maibubuga/Wala na kong magagawa...

Song lyrics correct or not? Anyway.

Then after two MRT stops, Guy moved towards the middle part of the MRT, obviously trying to get near Girl. However, they're still not in speaking terms.

And after a few more stops, Girl glances at Guy.

And after one more stop, Girl also slides towards the middle of the train, and holds on unto the pole where Guy also rests his right hand.

And after another stop, Girl rests her head unto Guy's left shoulder.

And I was thinking "Pag uumpugin ko yang mga ulo nyo eh. Nagdrama pa kayo."

And just before I got off my stop, their entangled limbs reminded me of the Spice Girls' hit song 2 Become 1.

The End.

Dear Wyldfires and everyone else

This is a suggestion for a promo material for our WIN Youth Day (to be posted in our blogs, avatar in public forums, primary photo in Friendster for the duration of our campaign, email attachment while we still don't have the video thingy, etc). Please feel free to comment and give constructive criticisms so that we can improve it. Or give a totally new idea altogether, also can.=)



PS

I resized it to fit my blog.

Credits to battlecry.com for the 'inspiration' and to Rohit for the WIN THE NXT stamp.

Work

I'm at the office right now...and I'm blogging.

Such injustice.

Yesterday they (the 11th floor people) imposed new rules for us temp staff people. No use of pantry (must go downstairs on the 9th floor, because Nicole is going to have myocardial infarction if we use the pantry that's not even hers), no msn, no this and no that. And today, she added a new rule: we cannot print here, must go downstairs to print.

So that's what I just did. I tried to add the 9th floor printer and print here on the 11th floor, but I went down to collect my printed sheets. But it turns out I didn't add the printer properly so I wasn't able to collect anything when I went to the printing room. So I proceeded to use a 9th floor computer to print my stuff again, then went back to the printing room.

And got blamed for printing almost a ream of blank excel sheets with a few random lines. Next time I must format my files properly, they said. What?! I just printed my files 5 seconds before, it couldn't be that those hundred over sheets are mine. However, I was just too stunned to protest and air my side, because they actually think I'm that stupid. I wasn't even able to show them my 3-page file that came out cleanly from the printer.

But anyway, it's the 9th floor people who misunderstood me and the whole situation. They 'corrected' me in a very nice way, so I'm fine with it.

If it were the 11th floor people, I would have gotten butchered by Nicole and her gang.

blah.

Enough is enough. I shan't be a stalker anymore.

I talked to Bonats this morning, courtesy of Synovate (mwahaha). We had some catching up, and it was nice talking to my bestie about stuff that's bugging me. So there Bonats, I deleted him from my friends list in Friendster again, and I'm guessing he will be adding me as a friend again only after all matter and energy would be compressed back into a gravitational singularity and explode again with another big bang.

That's like, a million gazillion eons in waiting. But why should I bother anyway?

Moving on...if anyone bumps into my so-called boyfriend in isla exotica le maurice, tell him I'm still alive and kicking okay? He may have forgotten that I still exist.

Making sense out of things

As I was walking about the perimeter of Sengkang MRT, I was thinking "This doesn't make any sense, God...This doesn't make any sense at all."

I don't know why God allowed me to miss the last MRT or the last bus that would take me back to NUS. He knew that I was preserving my cold, hard cash for purchasing my meals, but He still 'forced' me to use up my money for cab fare worth around 20 bucks and for my groceries amounting to 30 bucks last Sunday. I couldn't understand it, because I was thinking "I am serving you Lord, how could you let this happen?" The taxi fare and groceries from Carrefour, I could pay for those stuff through my mom's credit card, but last Sunday I couldn't use it because the credit limit has already been reached (now what does that say of me, haiz), and she already paid but I would have to wait for two more days before I could use it again, so I wasn't able to use it a while ago to pay for my cab fare.

See, we had a meeting tonight for our big youth day on the 9th of July. I am involved in the event promotion, and I just had my first taste of what it's like to be a part of, as in really part of, organizing some big church event. And last Sunday, I just came from church directly before doing my groceries.

But anyway, in retrospect, I think I should be grateful for having been given these situations when my initial reaction would have been to complain because nothing makes sense, which is exactly how I responded initially hehe. But then you see, it is during these times when you are challenged to trust God, because in His infinite wisdom He knows what He is doing and all things will work up eventually for your good.

And by the way, the cab driver who drove me back here is uber friendly. He is the friendliestEST cab driver in all of Singapore. He was supposed to go home already but I guess he took pity on me because I looked lost and tired, which is actually the case. Hehe. Bless you Mr Cab Driver. Oh yeah, his name is Mr Lim Hee Joo, and if you need a ride just call this number: 9191 5529. Very kind and friendly one.

PS

About my Robinson story, initially I didn't want to share it because if I did my parents would know that I'm having trouble financially. But now that they do know already, here goes. It's actually about last Sunday, during tithing in church. It's where I spent the last crisp bills inside my wallet, and then I would have none anymore because I cannot withdraw what's left in my bank account because it's below the minimum withdrawal amount. A tiny voice told me "Ok so where are you going to get your dinner tonight?" But I gave up my last bills anyway. Then the one doing the exhoration for the tithing mentioned something about giving even if you have scarce resources, because God will make a way, like maybe someone owes you some amount and he'll pay you out of the blue just when you need it the most. Then I just shrugged his message off, thinking it's not applicable to me.

After the service Robinson and I (and Ivy?) went to Harbourfront Centre on the way home, but he told us he'd go and withdraw some money first. OK. Then whaddaya know, he handed me $20 because I sold him my Programming books at the very start of this recently concluded semester! Ha! Just when I needed the money the most. The delay had been a super blessing.

Yep, so for that week I had money some money to spned for my meals, and then I finally told my father about my problem. Yey. So there, see how great God is.

a second serving of crap, s'il vous plait?

Okay, since I don't have any academic stuff to worry about, let me ponder on some petty highschool-ish stuff for now. I want to ban Friendster forever and ever and ever. Coz you see, it is my doorway to what my ex has been up to since we've broken up. You tell yourself you don't care anymore, but you take peek into his profile anyway. It's just plain irresistible. And discover that you are already totally out of his life. Which you tell yourself doesn't matter really, because you are supposed to not care anymore. But you do anyway.

It is NOT because you still love him, which may be possible also, but it's more of being bothered because you have already been replaced. However, you must also give the person some credit for having moved on, just as you have...or thought you have...whatever.

Anyway, he may be feeling the same thing whenever you blog about your new boyfriend, given that he still cares to read your pinkish outburst of thoughts. Or maybe he doesn't bother anymore, and you are the only one trying the walk on a nonexistent bridge that has long since collapsed. Maybe he is already extremely happy with his life without you on the picture.

Maybe he has already forgotten.

Two cents' worth of crap.

i am pretty

I miss my long hair...



Blonde hair can or not?!



I wish. Haha! Boobs courtesy of Paris Hilton.

Long Day

Well whadaya know, I just came back to my room. My day had been an eventful one, to say the least. So many wrong things happened today (or yesterday? it's already past 5 am as I'm writing this), like my credit card declining a purchase, meeting a horrible woman who I wanted to fry alive and feed to the dogs, and not being able to do the site visit for for my assigned task for being part of the AIESEC orientation camp logistics team.

About meeting the horrible woman part, I actually made a little scene in Western Union at Lucky Plaza. She made my blood boil so much that I wasn't able to control myself and cursed her with the abominable F-word in front of many people. But then I had to come back again after about 2 hours to get the money my father sent, and then my feisty little self emerged again. Aiyoh, the verse in the Bible saying In your anger do not sin had been the farthest thing from my mind.

But then towards the afternoon, I calmed down already and even decided to show up at our youth meeting. Initially I didn't feel like going, what with all the wrong reactions I made for the circumstances hurled at me today. But then I thought of Peter, one of Jesus' disciples who also had infamous outbursts, yet God was still able to use him greatly in spite of his imperfections.

That's one of my major flaws right now as a Christian - I seem to be having a difficulty doing away with profanity. It's just that most of the time when I get angry, I don't know how else to describe circumstances or express myself except through the use of foul words.

Haiz.

Anyway I'm going to sleep now. Thank you very much parents. I miss you and I love you very much.

fink.

My new template is so GAY! I like it! Haha=) It is so pink. It is so me!=) I'd still like to add more buttons and stuff, but I'll save it for later. For now this outburst of pink will do.

Actually I started changing the look of my blog last night, because I didn't have anything better to do. For the past few nights, I've been feeling really lonely, being away from my family and from Ruchchanococcus. And the melancholy was compounded somemore by my being broke. Okay, now I think it's fine to admit that all that I have left in my bank accounts give a staggering grand total of $18 - around $11 for DBS and $7 for UOB. Isn't that great?!

Some nights I just go straight to sleep with an empty stomach, because I try to save my cash for lunch. Like, I can't stay in the office while my colleagues go out to eat, right, and I need to eat during the day because that's the time I am most active. For the last two nights I have been crying myself to sleep, discretely of course, because I have a roommate! It is so depressing to miss your family, your boyfriend, and your dinner all at the same time.

About missing my dinner part, I know the solution is very simple. I could always borrow from friends or even to my tito here in Singapore for just enough money to live by until my payday comes. But I don't know, maybe it's pride. I'm not comfortable borrowing money from people, because everytime I do that I feel like I'm such a loser. I only borrow when I absolutely need to, and only from those I consider close to me. I don't even want to ask money from my parents because I want to be consistent with this being 'independent' thingy, and I feel guilty for still having to ask money from them when the Singapore government is also paying me to study. But yeah, it's rather foolish to starve yourself to death isn't it?

So this morning, I finally sms-ed my father and told him I'm already super-broke. I asked him if I could use the credit card to pay for my friends' cinema tickets so that they would pay me cash in return. Of course he said yes, and he even urged me to buy myself groceries too, and yes, he already sent me money. Thank you papa.

God gave me a reality check that yes He will provide, but meals or money to buy them won't just apparate out of thin air; and I also learned that you should set aside pride and admit that you need help.

Ask, and it shall be given to you.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands *clap,clap*

Ang saya. I got to speak to my Mama, Papa, Paolo, YC, and Cyril James my Bonats. Thanks a lot Wayne. And great timing, Robinson. Thank God for angels.

And oh, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA! ayan, yellow, your favorite color. I love you very much mama dear. And ganda natin.

Papa, I'm so happy sa Globe ka na uli. Wag kau masyado magworry ni mama about sa akin. I'm okay. Si mama malungkot sa phone, ang wrinkles baka dumami.

Paolo, I believe in you. Pagbutihin mo okay? *Wink* I-Friendster na lang uli kita kapag nakapag-ask around ako okies wittle pogiboy brother.

Sorry YC I made you cry. Joke lang naman eh. Alam ko namang wala ka pang boyfriend. Lalo pa't nagngangalang Alfred.

Bonats dear, after 48 years nagkausap uli tau. Sayang short lang yung conversation natin. Hehe sorry uli natutulog ka pala nun! Ingat ka palagi jan ha, maraming nagmamahal sa yo=)

Wayne.I love you mommy.

Nice ka Robs. When the right time comes I'll share with everyone this nice story. Robinson doesn't know by the way.

I love you Lord. Thank you for your providence.

PS. Ang flifax kong kapatid hindi ko nakausap, next time sya una kong tatawagan.

screwed

It has been a long, long time since I got a scolding from anyone.

I got one from my boss at the Waffle Shop today.

Remember, I did a 5-hr shift last night. This morning Dennis (the operations manager) called to ask me to call David (the owner). So I did. David sounded so upset on the phone, like a did a major blunder in the cleanliness and hygiene department. He said I didn't clean up last night and the place was very, very dirty this morning. I couldn't understand why he would say that, because I did clean up last night by my lonesome (usually two people do the cleaning up) and I left the place in order. Except that I didn't clean the used tubs because I wasn't sure if it's okay to just leave them there. I think my mind blanked out because I was very tired already (badminton in the morning after a long recess from any form of exercise, and doing a one-person shift at night), so I forgot about the basic stuff I should do in cleaning up. What could have gone wrong?

This afternoon I went back to PGP, supposedly to give David the money from last night's shift. He wasn't able to come last night to collect the money and check up on the place because (as I understand it), he was merrymaking with other Waffle Shop people in Marina Square. So I just left the money with the girl who is doing the shift right now and asked her if she knew about what happened this morning.

Finally I understood why David had been so upset, and why he described the place as very, very dirty this morning. Stupid me forgot that a spoilt waffle mixture froths and expands and creeps out of the tub like it has a life of its own. Since I didn't throw it away last night, this morning the place became flooded with waffle mixture goo that stinks big time.

I really screwed up.

I had been an irresponsible operator and I am terribly sorry. If I were in David's shoes my blood pressure would shoot up too. I already wrote him a note of apology and I will personally apologize later tonight. I will accept any penalty imposed to me, and I hope I will never forget this lesson about responsibility and learn from it.

Vesak

Today's a public holiday here in Singapore, coz it's Vesak. I was totally clueless about Vesak until yesterday, when they announced that we don't have to report to work because of it. It's something related to Buddha, but I'm not too sure whether Vesak is a commemoration of his birthday or something else. Anyway.

This morning, Ivy, Rohit, Harish, and I played badminton here at KE7's multi-purpose hall. It's been ages since I last played, even touch a badminton racket at that. It felt good having what I consider as a total body workout, since I sweated like it's the end of the world. Exag! Thanks guys for inviting me=)

In the afternoon I took Ivy's shift at the Waffle Shop because she wasn't feeling well. Actually I was happy to take it because I need it. I'm not really sure when my salary from my job at Synovate is coming, because right now I seem to be implementing the real-life application of Calculus by taking the limit of x as x approaches zero, where x is a variable that represents the money that I have in my bank account. I'll just have to grin and bear it until payday comes.

During my shift, Sundeep's friends came and they started speaking to me in French. Stupid me forgot how to respond when they asked 'Comment ca va?' Armph! Then they were talking some more and ordered in French again, good thing French terms for chocolate and vanilla are idiot-proof and I was able to give them what they wanted. When they reached their table just in front of the Waffle Shop stall, they started chatting in English because they were with an exchange girl (I think). You goofs.

I am really fond of Sundeep's friends because they are really warm towards me and they make me feel welcome. Once, when Sundeep and I were at the Engin booth where they were recruiting students to join the Mauritian Student Group, one Mauritian guy who reminds me so much of Colin Farrell immediately handed me a sign-up form because I'm already one of them, he said. Whenever I meet them wherever, they'd say hi. And it was really fun racing with them at Pulau Ubin for that Amazing Race thingy they organized.

Haiz. I'm missing Sundeep a lot. Every single day of the semester I was with him, during lectures, tutorials, and even after classes. During the reading week and exam period especially, we studied together like mad. I would go to KR and bring him lunch, we'd watch some DVD of the serial F.R.I.E.N.D.S. while eating (I borrowed the DVDs once and tried watching on my own, but it wasn't as funny with him not around...there is something in his laughter that makes it so contagious), then we'd mug the whole afternoon, then he'd buy me dinner from their dining hall in KR, and even if the food sucks sometimes it's okay, because we'd be watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. again while eating our dinner, and I'll mug with him again until it's time for me to go back to my own room in PGP. The next day, the whole cycle repeats. That's what we were doing until the last day of our exams.

He helped me a lot in my studies, especially in understanding the concepts. Sometimes after I have grasped the concepts (especially in Soil Mechanics, Structural Design, Construction Proj Management, and Water Science - okay, that's like all our core modules), I'd realize if he hadn't explained those things to me I would never be able to undertsand those things in that certain light on my own. For that I am very grateful to him, for being very patient with me. I know I'm eating his time when he explains stuff to me, but he says it's okay because he's also able to understand better when he 'tutors' me, so he also benefits. Yey.

The latest French phrase I learned from him coz I asked him to translate: 'Fermer ta bouche or else', which is what I'll politely say when anyone says anything against him.

TITANIC sequel

Jack is back! You MUST watch the trailer!



Hehe. The 'trailer' seems so real, like the movie's really going to be out in the cinemas. It fooled me the first time I watched it. But at the last part when it's supposed to advertise the playdate, it just said 'Summer', without stating which year. So I googled the thing and I found out that the whole thing's just a joke. Props to the person who did this so-called trailer. Nice!

long weekend up ahead!

Fun day at work today. =)

I discovered that when you mix plain old hot coffee with Milo, it's like ordering those expensive mocha thingies from Starbucks. Thanks Michael, Ivy, and Natalie!

I called up one company today and it was damn funny (at least for me wahahaha).


Me: Hi good afternoon, this is Korinna from Synovate Singapore. May I speak to your purchasing manager please?

Manong X: Ay wala ho sya eh.

Me: Ay okay, so kelan ho kaya ako pwedeng tumawag uli?

Manong X: Ay bukas na lang ho.

Me: Pwede na lang ho makuha yung pangalan nung purchasing manager nyo?

Manong X: Ah..(speaks ever so slowly) si Mr. Jes-sie Sa-la-gu-bang.

Me with my futile attempt to stifle my laughter upon hearing the last name: Ah........hahahhahahahaha!

Manong X: Ikaw ha tumatawa ka pa..(pabiro)

Me: Hahaha...naku sorry ho...sige tatawag na lang po ako uli..

Manong X: O sige, pero ilista mo yung pangalan ha. Jessie Salagubang.

Me: Nalista ko na po. Hahaha. Maraming salamat po.



Sorry...tunog insekto kasi yung pangalan. Naman. Okay tama na.

Anyway, I didn't realize that Filipinos are that religious until I've contacted several companies with names such as Jesus Garcia Trucking Corp., Almighty God Trucking, at hihirit pa yung Abba Father Inc or something like that.

At umaariba rin ang Mulawin Trucking Corporation.

Anyway.

Hahaiz that's all for now. Sundeep sms-ed me a while ago and I also got to speak with mama on the phone. Love you love you=)

BahayKubo

Makahilak man ta ani uy...naa na koy balay for this vacation...=p Salamat Lord.

Im staying in KE7 for the holidays...such bittersweet memories. *rolls eyes*

Grabe. Maraming salamat sa mahal kong hindi naiintindihan ang aking sariling wika. Salamat sa pagkarga ng mga mabibigat kong gamit kahapon, kanina, at isali na rin natin last semester. Salamat sa pag-alaga sa akin. Salamat sa lahat lahat. Salamat kasi nandyan ka palagi pag kelangan ko ng kahit anong klaseng tulong. Kaso, uuwi ka na.

Amazing. Nakabalik pa uli ako sa room ko kahit sinurrender ko na yung transponder ko and nag check out na ko from PGP. Naiwan ko kasi yung toiletries ko sa toilet (duh) and I requested kung pwede pa bang bumalik. Heck, andali nilang nakita yung transponder ko sa kahon na puno ng transponders. Ayun, dapat sa toilet lang ako ng block 4, level 6 pupunta, pero binalikan ko na rin yung room ko just in case. Ayun, naiwan ko pala ang charger ng phone ko!!! So nakuha ko sya. Yehey!

Haha binalikan ko rin yung chocolate cookies na naiwan ko sa fridge.

Nag half day lang pala ako sa work ngayon kasi nga maglilipat ako. (Nakalipat na pala.)

Masaya naman sa Synovate. At first intimidating, pero marami rin kasi akong ka age na temporary staff so ok sya. =) I feel like I'm one of them already...them corporate people. Haha! Kasi I ride the bus and MRT to work tapos kasabay ko sila with their office suits. And there's this adrenaline rush na uh-oh, I'll be late for work! Wapak! But I don't dress like them, I just wear my jeans and my sneakers na malapit nang sumalangit sa kapudpuran.

Jenni Mei Ferraris

Huy Jenni gawan kita ng short post para dika maantok.

Bruha ka dear, miss na kita. Wag muna kayo magtanan ni Pindot ha? Wahehe.

Kita tayo Davao sa July.

Whoopeeness!

I am like, Superoverjoyed!!!

I am so happy for my Papa, because now he's back with Globe Telecom, AND HE WILL BE WORKING IN GENSAN!!!

ok PAOLO dear, if you read this first before Papa tells you, SHUT UP OKAY. Don't tell YC yet. Mama knows already.

Whee I am so happy! Mama, Papa, and YC will be together now. Paolo will still continue his studies in Davao, Dimple in Manila, and me here. But at least! Three of us will be together already!!! Woohoo!

Now Papa can focus more on his business dreams. Yeyness. I'm loving it.

When I heard the good news, I commented "Siguro sobrang galing mo sa Globe ano? Biruin mo kinuha ka uli nila!" (My father resigned actually, and the way I understand it, it's against company policy to re-hire people who resign.)

And my father answered "Siguro nga ano!" Waha.

Then my father reminded me to thank God for the blessings.

So, Thank you God!

she.

When my masochist self emerges, I go to the friendster profile of this pretty girl.



Of course I won't be putting her link here (to deprive her of a tiny bit of happiness derived from seeing an increase in her stats for profile views. Whatever. I am being immature here.)

I appreciate her beauty, and I must say my ex-boyfriend has a good taste. Of course what, if I say otherwise, the insult would boomerang back to me. Like in one of the movies I watched, the man told his wife "You are so stupid", then the woman answered "Yes I'm stupid, that's why I married you." (Which movie?? Guess, Guess!!) Ok, not really related, but this is the boomerang thing I am talking about.

Based on the testimonials she made for him, I think they are happy together. Well, good for them. It's just that, the first time I read those in that special friendster page for his birthday, it stung big time. Coz those words used to be mine! I mean, the way she expresses her feelings for him is about the same the way I did when her boyfriend was still mine.

Hah. I still remember my blog before this current one. It was all for him. I made it extra sappy and mushy and sacchariney-sickeningly-sweet that no one else felt comfortable to leave a tag because it was full of i-love-you's and whatnots. Anyway, I changed tactics now. This blog is for no one but me. Right.

Wokies. I don't know where exactly I'm staying for this summer, nor for the whole of next year. And I only have $** to live by, at least until my first paycheck, which I'll be receiving by the end of May. The money I earned from part-time while studying is what's keeping me afloat now, but I stopped come exam period. So now, tipid galore! Which is okay really, because belt-tightening equals smaller tummy equals perfect for summer.

By now I would have been dead already, if not for my mother's credit card which automatically tops up my EZ link card, so I could spend my moolah on food rather than on public transport fares. Thank you parents.=)

See ya around cowboys.

Ruchchan and Evolution and Creationism

A while ago, I was just hanging out at Ruchchanococcus' room and reading some books I borrowed from the library. I just thought that I could give him some moral support by just being there while he studies, because last last semester it was such a bummer when all of my friends were over with their papers already and I was still stuck with mugging forChemical Engineering Principles, which I eventually failed (that's a big, fat F on my transcript). I got severly infected with what I call the Last Paper Syndrome, whereby you just don't care anymore about your last paper because everyone else is done already and you're the only one left not celebrating. That's why, for this semester, I purposely didn't choose any other module whose exam date is later than the last day of my core modules' exam date.

Anyway, at one point he looked up from the mound of notes he was reading and told me that he's reading about evolution (he took up General Biology as his GEM). Then he asked me, "You don't believe in evolution, do you?", then proceeded to offer me his notes so I may read them.

Then I said it's okay, I've studied biology in high school and we've covered that. (Some of my classmates have never taken up biology in secondary or JC or whatever because their educational system was more focused on maths and such, that's why way back in my first year maths for them was a breeze while I got slaughtered). I answered "It's just that I choose to believe that God created me rather than me evolving from monkeys."

Then I sat beside him and looked at his notes, and their lecturer wrote something about God creating all things, BUT refuted that statement by saying something about the number of fossil records disproves that blah blah. Then I asked him again, "But then, if we really evolved from monkeys or apes, why do they still exist until now?"

At that he just grinned and told me to ask his lecturer instead, because he's just a Civil Engineering student taking up introductory biology. Heh, but later I asked him, "But how could something as beautiful as you happen by chance?". You should have seen his eyes twinkle, and there, something for him to think about.

Below is a picture of him, clearly depicting his dysphoria because soon he won't be seeing his Smallie for three whole months. Joke. This photo was taken weeks before.



Anyway, back to the evolution versus creationism thingy. First of all, I believe in Creationism because I am a Christian and the first sentence you could read in the Bible happens to be "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." However, setting aside blind faith and using a scientific approach instead, there is this thing called the Second Law of Thermodynamics that we all learn in highschool that shakes the foundation of the evolution theory:

2nd law of thermodynamics: Physicist Lord Kelvin stated it technically as follows: "There is no natural process the only result of which is to cool a heat reservoir and do external work." In more understandable terms, this law observes the fact that the useable energy in the universe is becoming less and less. Ultimately there would be no available energy left. Stemming from this fact we find that the most probable state for any natural system is one of disorder. All natural systems degenerate when left to themselves.

It is well known that, left to themselves, chemical compounds ultimately break apart into simpler materials; they do not ultimately become more complex. Outside forces can increase order for a time (through the expenditure of relatively large amounts of energy, and through the input of design). However, such reversal cannot last forever. Once the force is released, processes return to their natural direction - greater disorder. Their energy is transformed into lower levels of availability for further work. The natural tendency of complex, ordered arrangements and systems is to become simpler and more disorderly with time.

Thus, in the long term, there is an overall downward trend throughout the universe. Ultimately, when all the energy of the cosmos has been degraded, all molecules will move randomly, and the entire universe will be cold and without order. To put it simply: In the real world, the long-term overall flow is downhill, not uphill. All experimental and physical observation appears to confirm that the Law is indeed universal, affecting all natural processes in the long run.

Naturalistic Evolutionism requires that physical laws and atoms organize themselves into increasingly complex and beneficial, ordered arrangements. Thus, over eons of time, billions of things are supposed to have developed upward, becoming more orderly and complex.

However, this basic law of science (2nd Law of Thermodynamics) reveals the exact opposite. In the long run, complex, ordered arrangements actually tend to become simpler and more disorderly with time. There is an irreversible downward trend ultimately at work throughout the universe. Evolution, with its ever increasing order and complexity, appears impossible in the natural world.


Got the above hoohaa from this website.

Anyway, I shall get some zzzzs now because tomorrow's my first day at work. I'm excited and scared at the same time. And sad coz tomorrow's Sundeep's last paper and I'm working when we could be spending more time together before he goes back home.

But I'm also grateful for this blessing. =)

Adios amigos.

Guess who's back?!

So...what shall I do with my newfound FREEDOM???

Whoopee! I just had my last paper for this semester, and at this very second I couldn't care less about how it would turn out, because seriously, I am fed up of studying. Last night, while Sundeep and I were studying together, I was haplessly rummaging through the piles of lecture notes and tutorials to look for a certain solved problem I could refer to in doing another tutorial problem, and I couldn't find it! I wanted to trash all my notes and shred them all to itty bitty pieces and set them all on fire until they're reduced to ashes, which afterwards I could sprinkle upon the heads of those who blast their speakers like nobody's business during the reading week and exam period. Anyway, I couldn't do that, coz I needed my notes. Needed. Get that? Past tense! Whoopee!

Before I go about doing amazing acrobatic stunts to officially start off my summer hoildays, I want to give a shout out to my great, amazing God who saw me through all those difficult days of this recently concluded semester. For all those times when I wanted to burst in exasperation for the colossal pressure I was being subjected to (see above paragraph), You reminded me that I could place all my burdens in Your hands and that I could find rest in You. For the hope, for the comfort, and for your wonderful presence especially during my Water Science and Technology exam where I almost blanked out...THANK YOU PAPA GOD!!!

Right now I couldn't really dissect what I'm actually feeling. Finishing my last paper was supposed to catapult me to the pinnacle of euphoria, but I feel rather lethargic right now. So my exams and all academic woes are over and done with at least for now, but I'm a bit sad too because I won't be seeing my family right away. Staying here for a good part of my school holidays is my choice, but you know, sometimes you couldn't help glancing back at the opportunity cost of your actions (paging EC1301 Principles of Economics, yoohoo?!).

I've been corresponding with my parents about my lofty immediate goals for the future, and I'm not really sure if they have absorbed everything because I email them like a bubbly little child saying "Mama, Papa, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, these are my wonderful dreams woohoo!", and I guess I subjected them to an information overload. I'm really grateful though, especially to my father, because he never fails to acknowledge my emails and always replies with encouraging words that make me feel I have their full support in everything that I do.

So why am I staying back for summer? Because something compels me to. Lately I've been having these thoughts about what I really want to do with my life, looking at the seemingly infinite possibilities laid out before me. I am already twenty, and I want to, you know, take charge of my life and explore what I think is the real world.

It is no secret that I desire to get a place in the NOC program, where I could hopefully intern for start-up company in Stockholm (or Silicon Valley or Bio Valley or Shanghai, but I choose Stockholm firstly because it is in Europe!) and attend their top university at the same time. But then, due to its relentless advertising and some articles in the Straits Times of its alumni commanding high starting salary or forming their own start-up companies, it has already created a buzz in the NUS community that makes the program more competitive. It is such an attractive program that I'm getting to know more and more people who are interested in getting their hands on it too. And what's more, I checked out the NOC website and looked through the profiles of those who already applied, and man...do they have such illustrious backgrounds.

Like, I am nothing compared to them.

Which is why, from now on, I shall stop comparing myself to anybody (so help me God). I will just look at myself and challenge myself, and set the bar for myself to the highest realistic level. No, I shall set the bar higher, beyond my grasp, so that in the event that I reach it, I will know that it is not through my own strength but God's.

So back to the NOC thingy, this summer I am going to prepare for that. Hopefully by the end of this summer vacation, I would have the right 'experience' at hand that I could also add on to my resume to make it decent enough to be worth considering. I feel that opportunities for my personal advancement abound here in Singapore, so I am going to grab some first before going back home to be with my beloved family that I very dearly miss.

Yeah yeah I talk a lot about reaching my dreams and conquering the world and such, but one thing I'm afraid of is being lonely during the good part of this summer. Away from family, away from Sundeep. Yep he's going back home to Ile de France (or Ile Maurice or just plain old Mauritius if you want, but for me it's the Land of My Beloved Roundie). He'll be doing his internship there, and we won't be seeing each other for three long months. Doink. I do not mean to load this post with saccahrine assertions, but anyway...

I love you so very much baby.

He's still not done with his papers yet...one more to go. And until then we can't go out of course. But by the time he's done with his exams, I'll start working already (yep this Thursday), and though I'm grateful for that, I'm just bummed I won't be able to send him off the airport when he leaves.

I hope we enjoy our few days left, and for starters, we're hitting the beach this weekend! Woohoo!